英語(yǔ)精短笑話

《新老師》

　　9月1日， 喬治放學(xué)回到家里。

　　喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎? 媽媽問(wèn)。

　　媽媽?zhuān)也幌矚g，因?yàn)樗f(shuō)3加3得6, 可后來(lái)又說(shuō)2加4也得6。

　　The New Teacher

　　George comes from school on the first of September.

　　George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

　　I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....

　　《律師、寶馬和胳膊》

　　一個(gè)律師打開(kāi)他的寶馬車(chē)門(mén)，突然一輛汽車(chē)駛過(guò)來(lái)把門(mén)撞飛了，警察趕到現(xiàn)場(chǎng)，律師正痛苦地抱怨毀壞了他心愛(ài)的寶馬。

　　“警察同志，看看他們把我的車(chē)弄的!!!”律師哀怨地說(shuō)。

　　“你們律師真是物質(zhì)至上，我很不舒服!”警察反駁說(shuō)，“你這么關(guān)心你可惡的寶馬，你可能沒(méi)有注意到你的左胳膊也沒(méi)了。”

　　律師終于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的勞力士手表在哪兒?”

　　A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

　　"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

　　"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

　　《狗住旅店》

　　一個(gè)人給一家他計(jì)劃在假期里停留的小旅館寫(xiě)了封信，“我非常希望帶著我的狗，它很干凈很有教養(yǎng)，你能允許它和我睡一間屋子嗎?”

　　旅館主人立即回了封信，“我經(jīng)營(yíng)旅館很多年了，狗從沒(méi)偷過(guò)毛巾，床單， 餐具，或者墻上的畫(huà)。我也從沒(méi)有在半夜因?yàn)楣泛茸砗[而趕走它，狗也從不不付帳就跑掉。實(shí)際上我們非常歡迎您的狗來(lái)我們旅館，如果它為您擔(dān)保，也歡迎您來(lái)。

　　A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

　　An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

　　《魚(yú)網(wǎng)》

　　你能告訴我魚(yú)網(wǎng)是什么做的嗎，安? 老師發(fā)問(wèn)道。

　　把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚(yú)網(wǎng)了。 小女孩回答道。

　　The Fish Net

　　Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

　　A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.