幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。笑話使人們?cè)诳贪宓纳钪懈械揭唤z快意和放松，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調(diào)劑作用。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)碛哪τ⒄Z(yǔ)笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!
幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話：遇到第九顆葡萄的命運(yùn)
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.
三個(gè)在森林迷路的人被食人族抓住了。食人族首領(lǐng)對(duì)他們說，如果他們能通過一項(xiàng)游戲，他們就能活命。
The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
測(cè)驗(yàn)的第一關(guān)是，去森林里采摘屬于同一品種的10個(gè)水果。所以，這三個(gè)人分散開來去采摘水果。
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."
第一個(gè)人回來對(duì)食人族首領(lǐng)說：“我?guī)Щ貋砹?0個(gè)蘋果。”首領(lǐng)然后向他說明了游戲規(guī)則：“你必須要把這10個(gè)蘋果塞進(jìn)你的屁眼里，同時(shí)臉上不能有任何表情，否則就吃了你。
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
第一個(gè)蘋果被塞進(jìn)去了…。到第二個(gè)的時(shí)候，因?yàn)樘弁此汩_了，所以，他被吃掉了。
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.
第二個(gè)人帶著10個(gè)葡萄回來了。當(dāng)首領(lǐng)向他說明游戲規(guī)則后，他想，對(duì)他來說這應(yīng)該很容易。
So he proceeded: 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the 9th berry he burst out in laughter and was killed immediately.
他開始了，一個(gè)，兩個(gè)，三個(gè)， ……。當(dāng)?shù)降诰艂€(gè)葡萄的時(shí)候，他大笑了起來，所以，他馬上被吃了。
Weeks later, the first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?"
幾星期過去了，第一個(gè)人和第二個(gè)人在天堂碰面了。第一個(gè)人問第二個(gè)人：“你當(dāng)時(shí)干嘛笑啊，你都快成功了?”
"I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
第二個(gè)人回答說：“我忍不住啊，我看見第三個(gè)人拿著10個(gè)菠蘿回來了。”
幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話：醫(yī)生的建議
A much worried patient walked into doctor's office asking for help:
候診室里坐著一位憂心忡忡的病人，當(dāng)醫(yī)生傳喚他時(shí)，
"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday!"
他滿面愁容的說：“醫(yī)生，怎么辦?我昨天誤喝下一瓶汽油!”
"Oh, Don't worry! All you have to remember is not to smoke in the next few days!"
醫(yī)生回答他說：“喔..沒關(guān)系啦!記得這幾天不要抽煙!”
幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話：最新報(bào)道
While taking photos of a bear eating fish in the forest, two journalists found the annoyed beast turned around to chase them.
兩個(gè)記者在森林中拍攝熊吃魚的鏡頭，忽然熊發(fā)現(xiàn)了他們并向他們沖過來，兩個(gè)記者拼命的跑，最后都要跑不動(dòng)了。
In running, one journalist said to the other:"Can't run any more! What should we do?" "No idea. But one of us will have his photo on the headline (tomorrow)." replied his colleague.
一個(gè)記者說：“我們?cè)趺崔k?”這時(shí)另一個(gè)記者對(duì)他的同伴說：“我也不知道，不過我們中的一個(gè)要上頭條了……”
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