幽默有趣兒童的小笑話大全
英語(yǔ)是一個(gè)我們時(shí)常要學(xué)習(xí)的東西，所以大家要注意一下，小編今天就給大家分享一下英語(yǔ)笑話，希望可以幫助到大家
英語(yǔ)爆笑的笑話精選
The preacher was vexed1(生氣的) because a certain member of his congregation(集合，聚會(huì)) always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined2 he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing3 tall and angry in the pulpit(講道壇), "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧師非常生氣，因?yàn)榭傆幸粋€(gè)人在他說(shuō)教時(shí)打瞌睡。
一個(gè)星期天，正當(dāng)坐在前排的那個(gè)人又在瞌睡時(shí)，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時(shí)睡覺(jué)。于是他低聲對(duì)信徒們說(shuō)：“想去天堂的人，都請(qǐng)站起來(lái)吧。”所有的人都站了起來(lái)——當(dāng)然，除了那個(gè)打瞌睡的人。在低聲說(shuō)過(guò)請(qǐng)坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請(qǐng)站起來(lái)!”
打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來(lái)?？吹侥翈煾哒驹诮虊希鷼獾目粗＿@個(gè)人說(shuō)道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們?cè)谶x什么，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”
兒童搞笑的小笑話
The minister announced that he would preach on the subject of liars1 next Sunday. He said, "To make preparation for my discourse2(論述，演講), I hope you all read the seventeenth chapter of Mark."
On the following Sunday, when the minister began to preach, he said: "Now, if you have read the seventeenth chapter of Mark as I requested, please raise your hand." Almost everybody's hand went up.
Then the minister said: "I want to tell you that there is no seventeenth chapter of Mark."
牧師宣布下個(gè)禮拜天他布道時(shí)要講說(shuō)謊者的問(wèn)題。他說(shuō)：“為了給這次布道做好準(zhǔn)備，我希望大家都去看看《馬可福音》的第十七章。”
到了下個(gè)禮拜天，牧師開(kāi)始布道時(shí)說(shuō)：“如果你們按照我的要求看過(guò)《馬可福音》的第十七章，現(xiàn)在舉手。”幾乎每個(gè)人都舉了手。
牧師就說(shuō)：“我要告訴你們，《馬可福音》并沒(méi)有第17章。”
幽默有趣的小笑話
A young couple was on their way to get married1 when they had an accident and died. Now they were in front of St. Peter and the young lady asked if they could get married. St. Peter told them, he would have to get back to them with an answer. Around 30 days later St. Peter returns and tells the couple that they can get married in heaven2. The young lady then asks St. Peter, "If things just don't work out can we get a divorce3?" St. Peter looks at her and replies, "Lady it took me 30 days to find a preacher up here do you really think I am going to find a lawyer?"
一對(duì)年輕的夫婦在去結(jié)婚的路上出了車禍，雙雙死去了。于是，他們來(lái)到了圣徒彼得面前，妻子問(wèn)是否她還可以和丈夫結(jié)婚，圣徒彼得告訴他們，關(guān)于這個(gè)問(wèn)題他一有了結(jié)果就會(huì)回來(lái)找他們。差不多30天以后，圣徒彼得回來(lái)了，并且告訴他們可以在天堂結(jié)婚。妻子又問(wèn)：“如果生活的不愉快，我們可不可以離婚呢?”圣徒彼得看著她，回答說(shuō)：“夫人，我花了30天才找到個(gè)傳教士，難道你真的希望我再去找個(gè)律師嗎?”
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