輕松幽默英語(yǔ)故事

　　在繁忙的生活中，也要偶爾放松自己的心情。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)輕松幽默英語(yǔ)故事四則，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　輕松幽默英語(yǔ)故事：要否結(jié)婚

　　Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.

　　Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!

　　弗蘭克叔叔七十八歲了，富有而健康。他是個(gè)終生單身漢。他曾追求過(guò)很多女孩，但“從不過(guò)熱----見(jiàn)好就收”。一天他突發(fā)奇想，決定四處走走，去看看他那些接近一打的舊時(shí)女友。

　　他回來(lái)即嘆道：“噓!謝天謝地幸虧我沒(méi)娶那些女人中的任何一個(gè)。如今她們都成寡婦了!”

　　輕松幽默英語(yǔ)故事：廣告

　　After a beautiful purebred puppy wandered onto our back porch and made himself at home, my husband composed an ad for the "Lost and found" column of the local newspaper. It read: "A puppy, male, approximately nine months old, no collar, very friendly, found on Rockbridge Road. "

　　I feared all the detail might encourage an unscrupulous person to claim the dog. As I methodically explained why each clue revealed too much, my husband dutifully crossed out the words. Finally, in frustration, he rewrote the ad, reducing it to a single sentence that I couldn't refute.

　　It read: "Guess what I found?"

　　一只漂亮的純種狗來(lái)到我們的后門(mén)廊并已此為家了。我丈夫?yàn)楫?dāng)?shù)氐?ldquo;失物招領(lǐng)”欄目構(gòu)思了一則廣告。它是這樣寫(xiě)的：“小狗，雄性，近九個(gè)月年齡，無(wú)項(xiàng)圈，很友善，發(fā)現(xiàn)于石橋路。”

　　我害怕這樣的細(xì)節(jié)會(huì)給那些昧著良心要狗的人以可乘之機(jī)。我有條不紊地解釋為什么每個(gè)線索都透露得太多，我丈夫就盡職地劃去一些詞。終于，出于為難，他重新寫(xiě)了廣告，把它縮為一個(gè)我無(wú)法反駁的句子。

　　它是這樣寫(xiě)的：“猜猜我發(fā)現(xiàn)了什么?”

　　輕松幽默英語(yǔ)故事：我要讓她發(fā)瘋

　　Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."

　　"But you're not wearing any of those things."

　　"I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."

　　福林德斯夫人決定讓人給她畫(huà)肖像。她告訴那位肖像畫(huà)家說(shuō)：“畫(huà)我?guī)е@石耳環(huán)、鉆石項(xiàng)鏈、祖母綠手鐲，還有紅寶石垂飾。”

　　“但你現(xiàn)在沒(méi)帶這其中的任何一樣飾品。”

　　“我知道。”福林德斯夫人說(shuō)，“萬(wàn)一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他會(huì)立刻再婚。我要讓那個(gè)女人為尋找這些珠寶而發(fā)瘋。”

　　輕松幽默英語(yǔ)故事：報(bào)喪方式

　　Pulling alongside our drive-up bank window, a woman was not happy with her position. So she backed up and pulled closer. Still not satisfied, she backed away and tried again. After five attempts, she finally parked the car and rolled down her window. I greeted her with a simple "Good morning".

　　"Good morning," she replied cheerfully. "I'm going to have to use this drive-up all the time. It's so easy!"

　　"Oh," Herbert said, pausing for a moment, "She' s on the roof."

　　一位婦女把車(chē)沿著我們銀行的驅(qū)車(chē)直達(dá)窗口開(kāi)過(guò)來(lái)，可她并不滿意于她停的位置。因此她倒車(chē)，靠得更近點(diǎn)。還是不滿意，倒車(chē)，再來(lái)。五次努力后，終于她把車(chē)停下來(lái)，搖下車(chē)窗。我簡(jiǎn)單地問(wèn)候她一聲“早上好”。

　　“早上好，”她愉快地回答說(shuō)，“以后我都要使用這種驅(qū)車(chē)直達(dá)窗口。真是如此的方便。”