英語(yǔ)兒童幽默小笑話閱讀
心情郁悶時(shí),一則超級(jí)搞笑的笑話會(huì)讓你瞬間忘掉不開(kāi)心的事情,這里有笑破你的肚子的笑話大全,小編今天就給大家?guī)?lái)了英語(yǔ)的笑話,今天我們就一起來(lái)看看笑話爆笑吧!
英語(yǔ)笑話一
一個(gè)律師打開(kāi)他的寶馬車門,突然一輛汽車駛過(guò)來(lái)把門撞飛了,警察趕到現(xiàn)場(chǎng),律師正痛苦地抱怨毀壞了他心愛(ài)的寶馬。“警察同志,看看他們把我的車弄的!!!”律師哀怨地說(shuō)。“你們律師真是物質(zhì)至上,我很不舒服!”警察反駁說(shuō),“你這么關(guān)心你可惡的寶馬,你可能沒(méi)有注意到你的左胳膊也沒(méi)了。”律師終于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀,“天哪,我的勞力士手表在哪兒?”A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
英語(yǔ)笑話二
MytwosistersandIwereallawayatdifferentcollegesatthesametime.Oneday,afterfacingtoomanycrisisandtiredofbeingtreatedjustanotherundergraduate,Iphonedhomeforsomeconsolation1andunderstandingofmyuniqueproblems. 我和兩個(gè)妹妹同時(shí)離開(kāi)家去不同的大學(xué)讀書(shū)。經(jīng)歷了太多的危機(jī),也厭倦了受到與其他大學(xué)生的對(duì)待之后,有一天我給家里打了個(gè)電話,就我獨(dú)有的問(wèn)題尋求安慰和理解?! henmydadanswered,Iimmediatelylaunchedintomylitanyoffrustrations2withcollegelife.AsIpausedtocatchmybreath,hesaid,"OK,honeynow,firstofall,whoisthis?” 爸爸接起電話后,我立刻開(kāi)始?xì)v數(shù)我大學(xué)生活中的挫折。當(dāng)我停下來(lái)歇口氣時(shí),爸爸說(shuō):“好啦,親愛(ài)的……現(xiàn)在,首先告訴我,你是哪一個(gè)?”
英語(yǔ)笑話三
Jack1hadgonetotheuniversitytostudyhistory,butattheendofhisfirstyear,hishistoryprofessorfailedhiminhisexaminations2,andhewastoldthathewouldhavetoleavetheuniversity.However,hisfatherdecided3thathewouldgotoseetheprofessortourgehimtoletJackcontinuehisstudiesthefollowingyear. 杰克在一所大學(xué)學(xué)歷史。第一學(xué)期結(jié)束時(shí),歷史課教授沒(méi)讓他及格。學(xué)校讓他退學(xué)。然而,杰克的父親決定去見(jiàn)教授,強(qiáng)烈要求讓杰克繼續(xù)來(lái)年的學(xué)業(yè)?! ?quot;He’sagoodboy,"saidJack’sfather,"andifyoulethimpassthistime,I’msurehe’IIimprovealotnextyearandpasstheexaminationsattheendofitreallywell.” “他是個(gè)好孩子,”杰克的父親說(shuō),“您要是讓他這次及格,我相信他明年會(huì)有很大進(jìn)步,學(xué)期結(jié)束時(shí),他一定會(huì)考好的。” "No,no,that’squiteimpossible,"repliedtheprofessorimmediately.“Doyouknow,lastmonthIaskedhimwhenNapoleonhaddied,hedidn'tknow” “不,不,那不可能,”教授馬上回答,“你知道嗎?上個(gè)月我問(wèn)他拿破侖什么時(shí)候死的,他都不知道。” "Pleasesir,givehimanotherchance,"saidJack’sfather."YouseeI'mafraidwedon’ttakeanynewspaperinourhouse,sononeofusevenknowsthatNapoleonwasill," “先生,請(qǐng)?jiān)俳o他一次機(jī)會(huì)吧。”杰克的父親說(shuō),“你不知道,恐怕是因?yàn)槲覀兗覜](méi)有訂報(bào)紙。我們家的人連拿破侖病了都不知道。”
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