生活幽默英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放松自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)生活幽默英語(yǔ)笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　生活幽默英語(yǔ)笑話：

　　This story is about another five doctor who went duck hunting one day.These five doctors were a general practice physician，a pediatri-cian,a psychiatrist，a surgeon and a pathologist.

　　這個(gè)故事是關(guān)于另外5個(gè)醫(yī)生的故事，一天他們?nèi)ゴ蛞傍?，這五個(gè)醫(yī)生包括一個(gè)全科醫(yī)生、一個(gè)兒科醫(yī)生、一個(gè)精神病醫(yī)生、一個(gè)外科醫(yī)生和病理學(xué)家。

　　A:Look，a bird is coming winging overhead.

　　看，一只鳥(niǎo)在頭頂飛過(guò)。

　　B:Why did you raise your shotgun and then hesitate?

　　你為什么舉起槍又猶豫了呢?

　　A:I am not quite sure it's a duck，I think that I will have to get a second opinion，but the bird was long gone.

　　我不敢肯定那是不是鴨子，我想我必須聽(tīng)聽(tīng)另一醫(yī)生的診斷意見(jiàn)。但這時(shí)鳥(niǎo)飛走了。

　　B:Look!Another duck.

　　看!另一只鴨子。

　　C:Why don't you shoot at it?

　　你為什么不打它?

　　B:(Muttering ) I am also unsure if it is really a duck in my sight and besides，it might have babies，I'll have to do some more investiga- dons.

　　(喃喃自語(yǔ))我也不能肯定那是不是鴨子。并且那只鳥(niǎo)可能還懷著小鳥(niǎo)，我必須作進(jìn)一步調(diào)查。

　　C:But the creature make good its escape.

　　但是那家伙從容不迫地逃脫了。

　　(Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist.Shotgun shouldered，he was more certain of his intended prey's identity.

　　然后，是眼尖的精神病醫(yī)生看到了飛鳥(niǎo)。用肩頂住槍托，他比其他人更清楚自己瞄準(zhǔn)的獵物是什么。)

　　D:Why do you hesitate since you know it is a duek?

　　既然你知道那是只鴨子你還猶豫什么?

　　C:Now，I know it's a duck，but does it know it's a duck?

　　是啊，現(xiàn)在我知道那是只鴨子，可它自己知道嗎?

　　(Finally，a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed sky wards. BOOM!The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him.

　　最后，第四只鴨子快速地飛過(guò)。這次是外科醫(yī)生把獵槍對(duì)準(zhǔn)了天空。“嘣”一聲槍響，外科醫(yī)生放下槍口還在冒煙的獵槍?zhuān)み^(guò)頭，面無(wú)表情地對(duì)身邊的病理學(xué)家說(shuō)。)

　　D:Good to see if that was a duck，will you?

　　去看看那是不是一只野鴨，可以嗎?

　　生活幽默英語(yǔ)笑話：

　　My neighbor, the homebuilder.Came home drunk and managed to park in the garage，but injured himself when he knocked some sample storm windows he had on a shelf .The second day，his wife talked with him.

　　我的鄰居，一個(gè)建筑工人，醉醇醇地開(kāi)著車(chē)回家，想把車(chē)停在車(chē)庫(kù)里，結(jié)果撞上了自己放在架上的一些防風(fēng)玻璃樣品，把自己弄傷一了。第二天他妻子與他談話。

　　A:You came home drunk last night. didn't your

　　你昨天晚上喝醉了，是不是?

　　B:Heavens no.

　　對(duì)天發(fā)誓，我沒(méi)有。

　　A:How did you injure yourself then?

　　那么你是怎樣受傷的呢?

　　R:Oh，I injured myself on the job yesterday.

　　我是昨天_[作時(shí)受傷的。

　　A:OK，then，please tell me where you did first aid.

　　好吧，那么請(qǐng)告訴我你昨天在哪里包扎的。

　　B:I think in the bath room.

　　我想是在浴室。

　　A:Well，please explain the bandages all over the bathroom mirror.

　　好吧，請(qǐng)解釋一下為什么浴室的鏡子上貼滿了繃帶呢?

　　生活幽默英語(yǔ)笑話：

　　(A man walked into a doctor's examining room一個(gè)人走進(jìn)一家診所。)

　　A:Put out your tongue.

　　伸出你的舌頭。

　　B:OK.

　　好的。

　　(Then he put out his tongue and the doctor looked at it quickly.

　　于是他伸出舌頭，醫(yī)生很快地看了一下。)

　　A:You can put your tongue back now. It's clear what's wrong with you.You need more exercise.

　　好吧，把舌頭伸回去吧，你的病因很明顯，你需要更多的運(yùn)動(dòng)。

　　B:But，doctor, I don't think...

　　但是，醫(yī)生，我不認(rèn)為……。

　　A:Don't tell me what you think，I am the doctor，not you，I know what you need.I see hundreds of people like you.None of them get any exercis e.They sit in offices all day and in front of the television in the evening.What you need is to walk quickly for at least twenty mi-nutes a day.

　　不要告訴我你認(rèn)為怎么樣，我是醫(yī)生，不是你。我知道你需要什么。我看過(guò)數(shù)以百計(jì)像你這樣的病人。他們沒(méi)有一個(gè)人鍛煉過(guò)。他們整天坐在辦公室里，晚上就坐在電視機(jī)前。你所需要的就是每天至少快跑20分鐘。

　　B:Doctor.you don't understand.I...

　　醫(yī)生，你不知道，我……

　　A:I don't want to hear any excuses. You must find time for exercise.If you don't，you will get fat and have health problems when you are o1der.

　　我不想聽(tīng)任何理由。你應(yīng)該抽出時(shí)間來(lái)運(yùn)動(dòng)，如果你不鍛煉，那么當(dāng)你老的時(shí)候，你就會(huì)變得很胖，并且有健康問(wèn)題。

　　B:But I walk everyday.

　　但我每天都走路的。

　　A:Oh，yes，and I know what kind of walking that is. You walk a few feet from your home to the station，and a few more feet from the sta- lion to your office，and a few more feet fr om your office to a restaurant for much and back. That's not real walking. I'm talking about a walk in the park for twenty minutes every day.

　　喔，是的。我知道那是一種怎樣的散步，你走幾英尺的路，從家到火車(chē)站，又走幾英尺從車(chē)站到辦公室，然后走幾英尺從辦公室到餐館中吃中飯?jiān)倩貋?lái)。那不是真正的散步。我所說(shuō)的是每天在公園中散步20分鐘。

　　B:(Shouting)Will you listen to me. doctor t I am a mailman and I walk for seven hour every day.

　　(叫喊著)請(qǐng)聽(tīng)我說(shuō)，醫(yī)生!我是一名郵遞員，我每天得走7小時(shí)的路。

　　A:(Being silent for a moment) Put your tongue out again，will you?

　　(悶在那里半天不語(yǔ))再把你的舌頭伸出來(lái)，行嗎?