趣味英語小笑話

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的趣味英語小笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　趣味英語小笑話：The New Teacher

　　George comes from school on the first of September.

　　9月1日， 喬治放學(xué)回到家里。

　　George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

　　“喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎?” 媽媽問

　　I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....

　　“媽媽，我不喜歡，因?yàn)樗f3加3得6, 可后來又說2加4也得6。”

　　趣味英語小笑話：The Fish Net

　　Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

　　“你能告訴我魚網(wǎng)是什么做的嗎，安?” 老師發(fā)問道。

　　A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

　　“把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網(wǎng)了。”小女孩回答道。

　　趣味英語小笑話：Another 40 Years to live

　　A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."

　　一名中年婦女心臟病突發(fā)被送到了醫(yī)院， 在手術(shù)臺(tái)上，瀕臨死亡之際，她看到了上帝， 于是，她問上帝是不是她的日子到頭了。 上帝回答說，“還沒有，你還能活43年，2個(gè)月零8天。” 身體快要康復(fù)的時(shí)候，這名女士想到自己還要活那么多年，得好好對(duì)待自己，于是決定先不出院，而是去給自己整整容，吸吸脂，隆隆胸，然后還做了一個(gè)腹部拉皮和其它一些美容美體手術(shù)。 她甚至還請(qǐng)人到醫(yī)院里面幫她頭發(fā)給染了。 做完最后一個(gè)手術(shù)，這位女士出院了， 但就在過馬路的時(shí)候，她被一輛風(fēng)馳電摯趕回醫(yī)院的救護(hù)車給撞死了。 再一次，她又站到了上帝的面前，她大惑不解地問上帝，“我記得你說我還能再活40年?” 上帝回答，“那個(gè)時(shí)候我沒認(rèn)出你來”。

　　趣味英語小笑話：Snorer 瞌睡者

　　The preacher was vexed(生氣的) because a certain member of his congregation(集會(huì)，圣會(huì)) always fell asleep during the sermon.

　　As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."

　　Awaking with a start(嚇一跳) , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(講道壇) , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　牧師非常生氣，因?yàn)榭傆幸粋€(gè)人在他說教時(shí)打瞌睡。

　　一個(gè)星期天，正當(dāng)坐在前排的那個(gè)人又在瞌睡時(shí)，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時(shí)睡覺。于是他低聲對(duì)信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請(qǐng)站起來吧。”所有的人都站了起來——當(dāng)然，除了那個(gè)打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過請(qǐng)坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請(qǐng)站起來!”

　　打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來?？吹侥翈煾哒驹诮虊?，正生氣的看著他。這個(gè)人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們?cè)谶x什么，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”

　　趣味英語小笑話：Sharing the Apples 分蘋果

　　Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. Share them with your sister, she said.

　　So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.

　　Cor! said his sister, If Mum had given them to me I'd have given you the large one and had the small one myself.

　　Well, said Harry, that's what you've got, so what are you worrying about?

　　媽媽給了哈里兩個(gè)蘋果，一個(gè)大一點(diǎn)，另一個(gè)小點(diǎn)兒。跟妹妹分著吃。媽媽說。

　　所以，哈里就把小個(gè)的給了妹妹，自己開始啃那個(gè)大個(gè)的。

　　哼，妹妹說，如果媽媽給了我，我會(huì)把大的給你，把小的留給自己的。

　　對(duì)呀，哈里說，你拿到的不就是小的嗎?還著什么急呀?

　　趣味英語小笑話：我希望您的面包病好了

　　I was making rolls and, needing a warm place for the dough to rise, put the bowl in a heating pad. Then I left the house on an errand(使命，差事) . When I came back, I found this note from my son: "Dear Mom, I hope your bread gets better."

　　我在做面包，需要把面團(tuán)放在一個(gè)暖和點(diǎn)的地方使它發(fā)起來。我把面盆放在電熱褥里，后來就出去干別的活去了。等我回家時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)兒子留下一張紙條，上面寫著：“親愛的媽媽，我希望您的面包已經(jīng)病好了。”

　　趣味英語小笑話：Intelligent son 聰明的兒子

　　One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.

　　After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"

　　"Certainly"

　　"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"

　　"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."

　　"Then why you didn't take it back?"

　　"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"

　　有一天,父親讓八歲的兒子去寄一封信,兒子已經(jīng)拿著信跑了,父親才想起信封上沒寫地址和收信人的名字。

　　兒子回來后,父親問他:“你把信丟進(jìn)郵筒了嗎?” “當(dāng)然”“你沒看見信封上沒有寫地址和收信人名字嗎?”

　　“我當(dāng)然看見信封上什么也沒寫”“那你為什么不拿回來呢?”

　　“我還以為你不寫地址和收信人,是為了不想讓我知道你把信寄給誰呢!”