國外經(jīng)典幽默故事三則
笑話是一種增強(qiáng)快樂的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情節(jié)簡單,文筆巧妙的形式出現(xiàn),給人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的藝術(shù)效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我們也需要偶爾的放松一下自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)韲饨?jīng)典幽默故事三則,希望大家喜歡!
國外經(jīng)典幽默故事:美國男人撒謊
Eighty percent of married men cheat in the U.S.A. The rest cheat in Canada.
在美國80%的已婚男人撒謊,其余的20%在加拿大撒謊。
國外經(jīng)典幽默故事:面試
There was this man who was in a horrible accident,and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of both of his ears. As a result of this" unusual' handicap, he was very selfconscious about his having no ears.
有個(gè)人在一次意外中受了傷,他的兩只耳朵也被切除了,這也是惟一一處這次意外造成的永久性傷害。由于這種特殊的殘疾,他對(duì)自己沒有耳朵這件事非常地敏感。
Because of the accident,he received alarge sum of money from the insurance company. lt was always his dream to own hisown business,so he decided with all this money he had,he now had the means to own a business. So he went out and purchased a small,but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all,so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business.
因?yàn)檫@次意外事故,他從保險(xiǎn)公司那里得到了一大筆錢。他總想擁有自己的公司,這下他決定用自己所有的錢開一家自己的公司。于是他買了一家很有前途的小型電腦公司。可是他意識(shí)到他根本沒有做生意的學(xué)問,所以他決定雇一個(gè)人幫他管理生意。
He picked out three top candidates,and interviewed each of them.
他挑出三個(gè)候選人之后對(duì)他們每個(gè)人分別進(jìn)行了面試。
The first interview went really well. He really liked this guy. His last question for this first candidate was "Do you notice anything unusual about me?"
第一個(gè)面試進(jìn)行得很順利。他也很喜歡那個(gè)人。他給面試者提出的最后一個(gè)問題是:“你有沒有注意到我有什么特別的地方。”
The guy said,"Now that you mention it,you have no ears.”The man got really upset and threw the guy out.
那個(gè)人說:“既然你問到了,你沒有耳朵。”他聽到這個(gè)之后很傷心,然后把那個(gè)
面試者趕了出去。
The second interview went even better than the first. This candidate was much better than the first. Again,to conclude the interview,the man asked the same question again,"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" The guy also noticed,`’Yes, you have no ears.”The man was really upset again,and threw this second candidate out.
第二個(gè)面試比第一個(gè)進(jìn)行得還要順利。這個(gè)候選者要比第一個(gè)更優(yōu)秀。他又一次以同樣的問題來結(jié)束面試:“你有沒有注意到我有什么特別的地方?”那個(gè)面試者也注意到后說:“是的,你沒有耳朵。”他又一次的非常傷心,又把第二個(gè)面試者趕了出去。
Then he had the third interview. The third candidate was even better than the second,the best out of all of them. Almost certain that he wanted to hire this guy,the man once again asked,"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" The guy replied,"Yeah, you are wearing contact lenses.” Surprised,the man then asked, “Wow! That’s quite perceptive of you! How could you tell?" 'The guy answered,"Easy. You can’t wear eyeglasses. You don’t have any ears!”
這之后又進(jìn)行了第三次面試。第三個(gè)面試者是三個(gè)人中最好的一個(gè)。當(dāng)然,他也很想錄用這個(gè)人。他又一次的問起那個(gè)問題:“你有沒有注意到我有什么特別的地方?”那個(gè)人回答:“是的,你帶著隱形眼鏡。”他驚奇的問:“哦!你真是太厲害了,你是怎么知道的?”那個(gè)人回答:“太簡單了,你不能帶普通的眼鏡,因?yàn)槟愀緵]有耳朵!”
國外經(jīng)典幽默故事:一只襪子
A young couple decided to wed. As the big clay approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.
一對(duì)年輕男女決定舉行婚禮當(dāng)那個(gè)大喜的日子臨近的時(shí)候,他們變得有些憂慮。他們的問題從來沒有告訴過別人,甚至是對(duì)方。
The groom-to-he, overcoming hisfear, decided to ask his father for advice.
新郎抑制著他的恐懼,決定向他的爸爸征求一下意見。
"Father,” he said,"1 am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage.”
“爸爸.”他說,“我真的對(duì)我能否有個(gè)美滿的婚姻有些擔(dān)心。”
His father replied,"Don’t you love this girl?"
他的爸爸問他:“你愛這個(gè)女孩嗎?”
"Oh yes,very much,” he said,"but you see,I have very smelly feet,and I’m afraid that my fiancee will be put off by them.”
“當(dāng)然,我非常愛她,”他說,“但是你是知道的,我的腳很臭我怕我的未婚妻會(huì)因?yàn)檫@個(gè)而離開我。”
"No problem,”said dad. gall you have to do is wash your feel as often as possible. and always wear socks,even to bed.” Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.
“沒問題,”他爸爸說,“你需要做的就是盡可能的經(jīng)常洗腳,總要穿著襪子,即使是睡覺的時(shí)候。”對(duì)于他來說這似乎是個(gè)有用的辦法。
The bride-to-be,overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem u p wish her mom. “Mom,” she said,"when 1 wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful.”
新娘抑制著她的恐懼,決定向她的媽媽征求一下意見。“媽,”她說,“當(dāng)我每天早上起來的時(shí)候,我嘴里的味道實(shí)在是太糟了。”
“Honey,” her mother consoled,"everyone has bad breath in the morning.”
“親愛的,”她媽媽安慰她說,“每個(gè)人早起的時(shí)候嘴里都有味道的。”
"No, you don’t understand. My morning breath is so bad, I' m afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me.”
“不是,你不明白。我早上的口氣實(shí)在是太難聞了我怕我的未婚夫會(huì)因?yàn)檫@個(gè)不和我睡在同一間房里。”
Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed,and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While the family is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you’ve brushed your teeth.”
她的媽媽簡單地說道:“試試這個(gè)辦法吧。早上,起床后直接就到廚房去做些早飯。當(dāng)他吃早飯的時(shí)候你就去洗手間刷牙。關(guān)鍵就是在你刷牙之前一個(gè)字都不能說。”
"I shouldn’t say good morning or anything`?" the daughter asked.
“我連早上好之類的話都不能說嗎?”女兒問道。
"Not a word,”her mother affirmed.
“一個(gè)字也不成,”她媽媽強(qiáng)調(diào)到。
"Well,it' s certainly worth a try,”she thought.
她想:“這個(gè)辦法倒是值得一試。”
The loving couple was finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received,he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence,they managed quite well. “That is,until about ix months later. Shortly before dawn,the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed, This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking, she immediately asks, "What on earth are you doing?"
這對(duì)恩愛的一對(duì)終于結(jié)婚了。彼此都沒有忘記父母提過的建議。他一直穿著襪子,每天早上她也一直沒有說過一個(gè)字。他們做的都很好。話說大概過了半年后的一天,天剛朦朦亮,丈夫一醒來就發(fā)現(xiàn)有一只襪子在睡覺時(shí)掉了。害怕由此帶來的后果,他就瘋狂的在床上尋找。當(dāng)然,這也把妻子吵醒了,妻子想都沒想開口就說:“你到底在干什么?”
"Oh, my God,” he replies, "you’ve swallowed my sock!”
“噢,我的天哪!”他說,“你吃了我的襪子!”