國(guó)外經(jīng)典幽默故事閱讀

　　笑話是一種增強(qiáng)快樂(lè)的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情節(jié)簡(jiǎn)單，文筆巧妙的形式出現(xiàn)，給人以出乎意料，并且取得笑意的藝術(shù)效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我們也需要偶爾的放松一下自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)國(guó)外經(jīng)典幽默故事四則，希望大家喜歡!

　　國(guó)外經(jīng)典幽默故事：嗨，女人!

　　lf you kiss her, you are not a gentleman

　　吻她吧，不夠君子

　　If you don't, you are not a man

　　不吻吧，不象漢子

　　lf you praise her, she thinks you are lying

　　夸她吧，說(shuō)你欺騙

　　lf you don't, you are good for nothing

　　不夸吧，說(shuō)你笨蛋

　　If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing

　　順?biāo)?，說(shuō)你氣管炎

　　If you don't, you are not understanding

　　不順吧，不善解人意

　　If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man'

　　太浪漫，疑你老練

　　If you don't you are half a man

　　太規(guī)矩，魅力不足

　　lf you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring

　　?？此?，招她厭煩

　　lf you don‘t, she accuses you of double crossing

　　少去點(diǎn)，怨你獵艷

　　If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy

　　穿得好，說(shuō)你花心

　　If you don't, you are a dull boy

　　邋遢些，缺個(gè)心眼

　　lf you are jealous, she says it's bad

　　吃醋吧，你太狹隘

　　If you don't she thinks you do not love her

　　大度點(diǎn)，說(shuō)你不愛

　　If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect

　　求歡吧，不夠尊重

　　If you don't, she thinks you do not like her

　　安分吧，不夠愛寵

　　If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait

　　你晚了，她等得煩

　　If she is late, she says that's a girl's way

　　她晚了，女孩特權(quán)

　　國(guó)外經(jīng)典幽默故事：兩個(gè)律師

　　Two attomsys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they brought out sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches herel" The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

　　兩個(gè)律師走進(jìn)一個(gè)餐廳點(diǎn)了兩杯飲料，然后從手提箱中拿出三明治開始吃起來(lái)。餐廳老板走過(guò)來(lái)說(shuō)道：“你們不能在這里吃自己的三明治。”兩個(gè)律師對(duì)看了一眼，聳聳肩，然后交換了手中的三明治。

　　國(guó)外經(jīng)典幽默故事：如何拒絕男孩

　　Boy: Can I buy you a drink ?

　　男孩：我可以為你買一杯飲料嗎?

　　Girl: Actually l'd rather have the money.

　　女孩：事實(shí)上，我更希望用錢o

　　Boy: Can I have your name ?

　　男孩：可以告訴我你的名字嗎?(直譯：我能有你的名字嗎?)

　　Girl: Why ? Dont you already have one ?

　　女孩：為什么?你不是已經(jīng)有一個(gè)了嗎?

　　Boy ; l'm a photographsr. l've been looking for a face like yours.

　　男孩：我是攝影師。我一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。

　　Girl: l'm a plastic surgoon. l've been looking for a face like yours.

　　女孩：我是整形外科醫(yī)生。我也一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。

　　Boy: Is this seat empty ?

　　男孩：你旁邊有人嗎?(直譯：這個(gè)座位是空的吧?)

　　Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

　　女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。

　　Boy : Haven't I seen you some place before ?

　　男孩：我好象以前在什么地方見過(guò)你?

　　Girl: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

　　女孩：是的。這就是為什么我不再去那個(gè)地方的原因。

　　Boy: Will you go out with me this Saturday ?

　　男孩：這個(gè)星期六你想跟我出去嗎?

　　Girl: Sorry. l'm having a headache this weekend.

　　女孩：抱歉.這個(gè)周末我頭疼。

　　Boy : I think I could make you very happy.

　　男孩：我想我能讓你非常快樂(lè)。

　　Girl: Why ? Are you leaving ?

　　女孩：是嗎?你是說(shuō)你要離開?

　　Boy: May I hold your hand .

　　男孩：我能牽著你的手嗎?

　　Girl; No thanks, it isntt heavy.

　　女孩：不用了，我自己能拿的動(dòng)。

　　Boy; Hi, didn't we go on dates before ? once or twice ?

　　男孩：我們以前有過(guò)一兩次幽會(huì)吧

　　Girl: Must've been once.l never make the same mistake twice.

　　女孩：肯定只有一次，我從不會(huì)犯兩次同樣的錯(cuò)誤o

　　Boy: l'd like to call you. your number?

　　男孩：能告訴我你的電話號(hào)碼嗎?

　　Girl:lt's in the phone book.

　　女孩：在電話本里。

　　國(guó)外經(jīng)典幽默故事：人也嫁錯(cuò)了

　　At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"The other woman replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

　　在一個(gè)雞尾酒舞會(huì)上，一個(gè)女人對(duì)另外一個(gè)女人說(shuō)：“你的結(jié)婚戒指帶錯(cuò)手指了。 男一個(gè)回答說(shuō)：“是的，人也嫁錯(cuò)了。”