幽默趣味英語(yǔ)笑話五則

　　幽默笑話，能讓你在信手翻啟間開(kāi)懷一笑，得到身心的徹底放松、心緒的怦然萌動(dòng)、情感的欣然釋放。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)幽默趣味的英語(yǔ)笑話五則，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　幽默趣味英語(yǔ)笑話：醫(yī)生住在樓下

　　"Doctor,"she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me.”

　　”醫(yī)生“她沖進(jìn)屋后大聲說(shuō)道。"我想讓你坦率地告訴我，我到底得了什么病。"

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam,”he said at length, “l've just three things to telf you. First,your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, l'm an artist,the doctor lives downstairs."

　　他從頭到腳打量了她，然后大聲說(shuō)：“太太，我有三件事要對(duì)你說(shuō)。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的相貌將會(huì)變美。第三，我是一位畫(huà)家——醫(yī)生住在樓下。”

　　幽默趣味英語(yǔ)笑話：你精神正常嗎

　　During a visit to the mental asylum,a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?""Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub,and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup,and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."Oh,I understand,n said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."Noooooooo! n answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

　　一個(gè)參觀者在參觀一所精神病院的時(shí)候問(wèn)院長(zhǎng)，”你們是用什么標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來(lái)決定一個(gè)人是否應(yīng)該進(jìn)精神病院呢?””哦……¨院長(zhǎng)說(shuō)，“是這樣，我們先給一個(gè)浴缸放滿水，然后我們給病人一個(gè)茶匙，一個(gè)茶杯和一個(gè)水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清。“哦，我明白了¨，參觀者說(shuō)，”正常人會(huì)選擇水桶，因?yàn)樗氨炔璩缀筒璞娜莘e大。””錯(cuò)了”，院長(zhǎng)回答道，正常人會(huì)把浴缸塞子拔掉。

　　幽默趣味英語(yǔ)笑話：誰(shuí)要聾了

　　A man tells a doctor, ”I think my wife's going deaf. What can I do ? "

　　丈夫告訴醫(yī)生："我想我的妻子快要聾了，我可以做些什么呢?"

　　The doctor says, "VVell, trY to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question-If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. That way we can see how bad the problem is." The man goes home, sees his wife and says, "Hi honey, what's for dinner ? " He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer. "Honey, what's for dinner ? " He repeats this severaltimes, until he's standing right next to her. Finally,she answers, "For the tenth time, I said we-re having Pot Roast!"

　　醫(yī)生告訴他："嗯，先嘗試測(cè)測(cè)她的聽(tīng)力吧。站在離她有一段距離的地方，問(wèn)一個(gè)問(wèn)題，如果她沒(méi)有回答，走近一點(diǎn)再問(wèn)一遍.一直重復(fù)直到她回答為止。這樣我們就可以知道情況有多糟了。“丈夫回到家，看見(jiàn)妻子便問(wèn)：¨親愛(ài)的，晚餐吃什么?¨他沒(méi)有聽(tīng)到回答，于是走近一點(diǎn)再問(wèn)：¨親愛(ài)的，晚餐吃什么呢?這樣重復(fù)了好幾次，直到他就站在妻子旁邊了。

　　終于，她回答了：¨這是第十次了，我說(shuō)我們吃燉肉.

　　幽默趣味英語(yǔ)笑話：死于肝癌

　　Wife:you see. According to the statistics on the paper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.

　　妻子：你看這張報(bào)紙，據(jù)統(tǒng)計(jì)，死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。

　　Husband: lt's okay. To my investigation,all these people eat meals.

　　丈夫：那有什么?據(jù)我調(diào)查，死于肝癌的人100%都吃飯的。

　　幽默趣味英語(yǔ)笑話：你當(dāng)真愛(ài)我嗎

　　One day,Eve asked Adam,"Do you really love me?

　　一天，夏娃問(wèn)亞當(dāng)：“你當(dāng)真愛(ài)我嗎?”

　　Adam said helplessly, "Do I have any other choice?"

　　亞當(dāng)無(wú)可奈何地回答：“我還有別的選擇嗎?