英語(yǔ)幽默爆笑笑話7篇

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英語(yǔ)幽默爆笑笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語(yǔ)幽默爆笑笑話：Class and Ass

　　Professor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door：Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today.

　　A student，after reading the notice，rubbed out thec.

　　Later Professor Laurie came along，and entering into the spirit of the joke，rubbed out thel.

　　班和笨驢

　　格拉斯哥的勞里教授在門(mén)上貼了這樣一個(gè)通知：勞里教授今天不會(huì)他的班。

　　一個(gè)學(xué)生讀了通知后，擦掉了字母c。

　　后來(lái)勞里教授來(lái)了，也想開(kāi)開(kāi)玩笑，他擦掉了字母。

　　英語(yǔ)幽默爆笑笑話：

　　A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer.No，ma’am， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon. Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，Of course， we'll have somesoon， We placed an order last week. Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：Never， never， never say we are out of anythingsay we've got it on order and it's coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?

　　Rain. said the clerk.

　　一個(gè)商店經(jīng)理聽(tīng)見(jiàn)一個(gè)店員對(duì)顧客說(shuō)：不，夫人，這會(huì)兒沒(méi)有，一時(shí)半會(huì)兒看來(lái)也不會(huì)有。經(jīng)理驚恐萬(wàn)分地跑到顧客跟前說(shuō)：當(dāng)然，馬上就會(huì)有的。我們上周訂了貨。然后經(jīng)理把店員拉到一邊：千萬(wàn)，千萬(wàn)，千萬(wàn)不要說(shuō)我們沒(méi)有什么說(shuō)我們已經(jīng)訂了貨，貨馬上就到?，F(xiàn)在你說(shuō)她要買(mǎi)什么?

　　雨，店員說(shuō)。

　　英語(yǔ)幽默爆笑笑話：Raccoons

　　Part of my job at the state fish and wildlife department is to lend equipment to residents for trapping and relocating raccoons. A man who had been successful at capturing one of the animals called to ask whether raccoons mated for life. He said his daughter was worried that they might have separated a monogamous couple.

　　I don't know why she's so concerned, he added. She's been married three times.

　　浣熊

　　我在州政府魚(yú)類和野生動(dòng)物部門(mén)工作時(shí)，負(fù)責(zé)向居民們出借捕浣熊的裝備。一個(gè)人捕獲了一只獵物，他打電話來(lái)詢問(wèn)浣熊是否終生只有一個(gè)伴侶。他說(shuō)他的女兒擔(dān)心他們可能拆散了一對(duì)終生伴侶。

　　我不知道她為什么這么關(guān)心這事，他補(bǔ)充說(shuō)，她自己已經(jīng)結(jié)過(guò)三次婚了。

　　英語(yǔ)幽默爆笑笑話：Creative

　　Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.

　　I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.

　　創(chuàng)造性

　　第一次求職時(shí)，我意識(shí)到在列舉我所具備的為數(shù)不多的條件時(shí)，得有點(diǎn)創(chuàng)造性。當(dāng)問(wèn)及我是否受過(guò)其它的培訓(xùn)時(shí)，我老實(shí)地回答說(shuō)我花了三年時(shí)間學(xué)計(jì)算機(jī)程序設(shè)計(jì)課。我得到了那份工作。

　　我沒(méi)有提到那門(mén)功課我重復(fù)學(xué)了三年才考及格。

　　英語(yǔ)幽默爆笑笑話：Is he dying?

　　A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.

　　Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.

　　一個(gè)男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流淚。一個(gè)朋友走進(jìn)來(lái)問(wèn)他為何如此傷心。那人哭著說(shuō)：剛才醫(yī)生告訴我，在我的余生里都要吃這些藥片。

　　他的朋友很輕松地指出，許多人一輩子每天都要吃藥。當(dāng)然，男人回答說(shuō)：但是他只給了我十片。

　　英語(yǔ)幽默爆笑笑話：The blonde and the farmer

　　There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。

　　一個(gè)金發(fā)女郎，是那么惡心的黃色笑話她把頭發(fā)染成紅色。笑話停了下來(lái)，她覺(jué)得很好，她在農(nóng)村的一個(gè)搭車的星期六下午。而在這旅程，她注意到一群羊，停下車來(lái)把......。

　　英語(yǔ)幽默爆笑笑話：太晚了 It's Too Late

　　A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."

　　A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."

　　一個(gè)醫(yī)科學(xué)生被要求說(shuō)明他給病人服的那種藥的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”

　　一分鐘后，這個(gè)學(xué)生問(wèn)教授：“我可以改正我的回答嗎?”教授看看手表，說(shuō)：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒鐘以前死了。”