下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的三則經(jīng)典趣味英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話：至少你有所選擇

　　A newly deceased sinner had just entered hell, and was being shown around.

　　一名罪人去世后，剛下地獄就被帶往各處走走。

　　"I'll tell you how it works around here," declareda particularly hideous devil. "You get your choice of three punishments. Here's the first. "

　　“我將告訴你這里的狀況，”一位面目可憎的魔鬼宣布道。“你必須在三種刑罰中選一個(gè)，這是第一種。”

　　The sinner watched in horror as he saw men and women repeatedly being immersed in boiling water.

　　罪人看見男男女女反復(fù)地被浸入沸騰的熱水中，嚇得目瞪口呆。

　　"Here's the second. " The poor sinner shuddered as he saw unfortunate people beingcontinually',event)">continually hounded by ferocious beasts and cruel demons.

　　“再看第二種。”可憐的罪人看到一些不幸的人被兇惡的野獸和殘酷的妖怪不停地追趕，嚇得直打哆嗦。

　　“And here's the third. ” A group was standing knee deep in shit and sipping tea.And he joined the group.

　　“這是第三種。”一群人站在深及膝部的糞池中喝茶。

　　No sooner had he done so than another devil yelled out

　　“這個(gè)看來還可以，我就選這個(gè)。”罪人說著便加入了那群犯人。

　　"OK, tea time s over. Get back on your heads. "

　　就在他加入不久，一個(gè)魔鬼大聲喊道：“午茶時(shí)間結(jié)束，回到頭下腳上倒立的姿勢(shì)。”

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話：設(shè)身處地替人想一想

　　Down on the farm, Mom told Dad to fix the outhouse,

　　某一農(nóng)場上，老媽要老爸去修理茅房。

　　Dad took a look at the shitter and returned to Morn

　　老爸只瞧了茅房一眼就回來了。

　　"There ain't nothin' wrong with that shithouse, Mom. "

　　“那個(gè)茅房什么問題也沒有啊，孩子的娘。”

　　Mom took Dad back to the out house and stuck his head down in the hole.

　　老媽將老爸帶回茅房，把他的頭塞進(jìn)茅坑當(dāng)中。

　　"Hey," said Dad, "my beard',event)">beard is stuck!"

　　“嘿!”老爸說道，“我的胡子粘住了!”

　　"Aggravatin', ain't it?"

　　“問題嚴(yán)重了，是不是呢?”

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話：先享受后付款

　　Jack the playboy had explored every corner of the world and dallied with many women,

　　花花公子杰克喜歡到世界各地探險(xiǎn)，和許多妓女風(fēng)流，

　　but in Hong Kong he finally encountered a professional girl who left him with far more than fond memories.

　　但在香港，他終于遇到一名職業(yè)神女，這名神女留給他的不止是溫柔的回憶而已。

　　First, he consulted a British doctor.

　　首先他請(qǐng)教了一名英國醫(yī)生。

　　"Goocl Lord!" exclaimed the medic,

　　“我的天啊!”醫(yī)生叫道，

　　"you've got more venereal diseases than a medical textbook. I'm afraid we' re going to have toamputate. "

　　“你所患的性病比一本醫(yī)學(xué)教科書還要豐富，恐怕我們必須把你的東西切除掉。”

　　Horrified, the playboy sought out an American specialist, who shook his head gravely and said,

　　花花公子心生恐懼，便找了一位美國專科醫(yī)師幫忙，但那名專科醫(yī)師表情凝重地?fù)u頭說：

　　"Sorry, son; if we don't amputate your member, the disease will spread to your other organs. "

　　“對(duì)不起，小兄弟，如果我們不切除那活兒，病毒將會(huì)感染到其他器官。”

　　Desperately, the swinger consulted a Chinese herbalist.

　　那名風(fēng)流公子走投無路，便向一位中醫(yī)請(qǐng)教。

　　The wise old man examined the patient carefully and nodded his head sagely.

　　這位充滿智慧的老先生仔細(xì)檢查病人后煞有介事地點(diǎn)頭說道：

　　"I know your problem," he said. "You play with bad girl, she very sick, now you very sick. "

　　“我知道你的問題。你和壞女人亂搞，她的性病很嚴(yán)重，你現(xiàn)在的病情也很嚴(yán)重。…

　　“Doctor, the British and American doctors told me my pride and joy would have to be cut off. . . "

　　“大夫，英國和美國的醫(yī)生都說我的東西必須要切除……”

　　"These Western doctors, all they want to do is cut, cut, cut, and charge big money. "

　　“這些西醫(yī)所做的就是切，切，切，然后收一大筆錢。”

　　"You mean I don't need surgery? ! " exclaimed the young man joyously.

　　“你意思是我可以不用動(dòng)外科手術(shù)?!”年輕人喜出望外地問道。

　　"Don't you worry, " said the ancient practitioner',event)">practitioner.

　　“別擔(dān)心，”老中醫(yī)師說：

　　"You go home, relax, wait two, three weeks, pecker fall off by himself."

　　“回家去，好好休息一陣，等二三個(gè)星期后，那活兒會(huì)自己掉下來。”