下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的四則經(jīng)典趣味英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話：小孩子實在了不起

　　Mother got on the train with Little Johnny and Little Ronny.

　　媽媽和小強尼、小羅尼一起搭乘火車。

　　Little Johnny was full of questions, as usual: "What's an emergency brake, Mommy?"

　　小強尼一如往常問東問西，“媽咪，什么是緊急煞車?"

　　“Why did that policeman ask to see our tickets?"

　　“為什么那位警察叔叔要看我們的車票?"

　　"Why can't I lean out the window?" etc.

　　“為什么身體不能伸出窗外?"等等諸如此類問題。

　　His mother was becoming ever more exasperated.

　　媽媽實在忍不住要發(fā)脾氣了。

　　Finally, Little Johnny asked, "What was that last station we stopped at, Mommy?"

　　最后小強尼又問：“媽咪，剛剛火車?？康氖悄囊徽?”

　　"I don't know, Johnny, and will you please stop pestering me? I'm trying to read. "

　　“我不知道，強尼，你可不可以不要煩我，我正在看書呢!”

　　A few minutes of silence passed. Then Johnny said, "It's too bad you don't know what station that was, 'cause that's where Little Ronny got off. "

　　一陣安靜后，強尼說：“真糟糕，你竟然不知道羅尼下車的那個車站。"

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話：哲學(xué)課一則

　　Really, you have only two things.to worry about-either you are sick or you are well.

　　真的，你只有兩件事要擔心，你不是會生病就是身體健康。

　　If you are well, you have nothing to worry about,

　　如果你身體健康，那么就沒什么好擔心的。

　　and if you are sick, you have only two things to worry about-either you get well or you die.

　　如果生病的話，只要擔憂兩件事，你不是康復(fù)就是死亡。

　　If you get well, you have nothing to worry about,

　　如果你康復(fù)的話，什么也不必擔心。

　　and if you die, you have only two things to worry about-either you go to heaven or you go to hell.

　　如果不幸死亡的話，你只要擔心兩件事，你不是上天堂就是下地獄。

　　If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about,

　　如果上天堂，什么也不需要你擔憂。

　　and if you go to hell.you'll be so busy shaking hands with old friends, you won't have time to worry !

　　要是下地獄的話，你會忙著和老朋友握手寒暄，連擔憂事情的時間都沒有!

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話：那可真是大的嚇人

　　One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender put a big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.

　　某一天一位觀光客走進一家德州酒店點了一杯威士忌，酒保競給他一大杯的酒。

　　"What,s this?" asked the tourist.

　　“這是什么呢?，’觀光客問道。

　　"Why, it,s a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"

　　“怎么了，那是你點的酒，難道你不知道德州每樣?xùn)|西都大得嚇人。”

　　Then, an armadillo ran past the door.

　　那時剛好有一只穿山甲跑過酒店門口。

　　“What was that?" asked the tourist.

　　“那是什么東西?’觀光客又問。

　　"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "

　　“哦，那是只德州蟑螂!”

　　By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,

　　喝了酒，觀光客感到腹脹頭昏，

　　and he asked the location of the bathroom

　　他問哪里有洗手間，

　　The bartender directed him to go down the hall and to the right,

　　酒保告訴他下樓后右轉(zhuǎn)，

　　but the tourist turned left instead and fell into the swimming pool.

　　但觀光客卻向左轉(zhuǎn)，跌落在酒店的游泳池中。

　　The bartender heard the splash and went to investigate.

　　酒保聽到水聲跑出去看個究竟，

　　As he put his head in the door, he heard the tourist cry. "Don,t flush the toilet ! "

　　剛把頭伸進門就聽到觀光客大叫，“不要按動馬桶沖水喲!

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話：不費吹灰之力

　　There were four passengers in the small aircraftas it sputtered over the Andes; a businessman, an inventor, a priest and a laid -back budget traveller.

　　一架正飛越安第斯山脈的小飛機上坐著四名乘客：一名商人，一名發(fā)明家，一位神父和一個靠預(yù)算過日子、看起來懶懶散散的旅行者。

　　Suddenly the pilot entered the cabin and told them the horrible news: "Gentlemen, the plane is going down. I'm going to try to crash-land it, but you must all jump. "

　　突然，駕駛員走進艙告訴他們可怕的消息：“各位先生，這架飛機正失控下降中，我要設(shè)法迫降，但你們必須先跳下飛機。”

　　Naturally, the men were horrified。and even more so when they discovered that there were only three parachutes.

　　當然，那幾個人都嚇得目瞪口呆，尤其是當他們發(fā)現(xiàn)只有三個降落傘可以使用時，更是心驚膽戰(zhàn)。

　　The businessman said, "Sirs, I employ thousands of people. Their lives and those of their families depend on me. I think you'll agree that I must survive. " He promptly put on a parachute and leaped.

　　那名商人說道：“各位先生，我雇用好幾千名員工，他們都要靠我養(yǎng)家活口，我想你們都同意我必須活著回去。”說著他便穿上一具降落傘跳出飛機去。

　　The inventor rose, already adjusting the straps. "I'm the smartest man in the world. My inventions have transformed the lives of millions. There’s no telling how much good I may yet do. Goodbye. " And he, too, jumped from the plane.

　　接著發(fā)明家站了起來，調(diào)整了肩帶說道：“我是世界上最聰明的人，我的發(fā)明改變了成千上萬人的生活。我還會對大眾造多少福難以估計。再見了，各位!”他也跟著跳出機艙。

　　The priest was se.rene, and interrupted his prayers to speak to the traveller. "I am a rnan of God, my son; I have no fear of death. Take the last parachute and save your life. "

　　神父心平氣和，中斷禱告，對旅行者說道：“小伙子，我是信奉上帝的人，我對死并不畏懼，剩下的降落傘你就拿去用，逃命去吧!”

　　"Hey, it,s cool, Father. There’ re still two parachutes left. The smartest man in tne world just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack. "

　　“嘿，神父，真是太棒了!我們還有兩個降落傘。那個自稱世界上最聰明的人背了我的背包跳出去了。”