英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典爆笑笑話9篇

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典爆笑笑話，希望對(duì)大家有幫助。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典爆笑笑話：

　　Two Pieces of Cake

　　Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

　　Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

　　兩塊蛋糕

　　湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?

　　媽媽：當(dāng)然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典爆笑笑話：

　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

　　兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫(huà)。

　　“看，”哥哥說(shuō)，“這些畫(huà)多漂亮呀!”

　　“是啊，”弟弟說(shuō)道，“可是在所有這些畫(huà)中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”

　　哥哥想了一會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫(huà)這些畫(huà)唄。”

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典爆笑笑話：

　　It's not my fault

　　Mother (reprimanding訓(xùn)斥，譴責(zé) her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.

　　Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.

　　不是我的錯(cuò)

　　媽媽(正教訓(xùn)她的女兒)：你不該拽貓的尾巴。

　　女兒：媽，我只是握著貓尾巴，它自己在拽。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典爆笑笑話：

　　The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

　　"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

　　"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

　　一個(gè)小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

　　“沒(méi)有關(guān)系，”一位先生說(shuō)，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語(yǔ)嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

　　“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典爆笑笑話：

　　On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.

　　在觀看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼兒園老師問(wèn)學(xué)生的觀后感。班上最小的女孩說(shuō)，她希望舞蹈演員可以長(zhǎng)得更高一點(diǎn)兒，那么他們就不用整天踮著腳尖了。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典爆笑笑話：

　　Mother asked her little boy, Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?

　　Nothing, Mum, answered the son proundly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three.

　　母親問(wèn)她年幼的兒子：寶貝，今天老師教了你些什么?

　　兒子驕傲地說(shuō)：什么都沒(méi)教，媽媽。她反倒問(wèn)我一加二等于幾，我告訴她等于三。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典爆笑笑話：

　　Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam."

　　"Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied.

　　"Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

　　在期末考試之前，湯姆告訴他的母親：“媽媽，我昨天晚上做了一個(gè)夢(mèng)，夢(mèng)見(jiàn)我通過(guò)了今天的考試。”

　　“不要相信夢(mèng)，親愛(ài)的。據(jù)說(shuō)夢(mèng)中的經(jīng)歷通常與現(xiàn)實(shí)相反。”媽媽答道。

　　“那么，我真希望在今晚的夢(mèng)中，我的其他功課都不及格。”湯姆說(shuō)。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典爆笑笑話：我沒(méi)有看到另外一塊

　　Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other.

　　媽媽：約翰尼，我今天早上在櫥子里放了兩塊點(diǎn)心。現(xiàn)在就剩下一塊了。你能解釋一下嗎?約翰尼：嗯，我想是因?yàn)槔锩嫣谖覜](méi)看到另外那塊。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典爆笑笑話：最丑的孩子?

　　A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

　　一位女士抱著她的寶寶上公交車，司機(jī)看到后說(shuō)：“額，那是我這輩子見(jiàn)過(guò)的最丑的小孩。”

　　The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

　　女士走到車廂后面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對(duì)旁邊的男士說(shuō)：“司機(jī)剛剛羞辱了我。”男士回應(yīng)說(shuō)：“你快上去斥責(zé)他。去吧，我替你抱著你的猴子。”