下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)單笑話(huà)短文，希望大家會(huì)喜歡!

　　英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)單笑話(huà)短文：All Except the Music除了音樂(lè)

　　A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"

　　"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."

　　一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學(xué)生多了解一點(diǎn)優(yōu)秀的古典音樂(lè)，就安排了一天下午去聽(tīng)音樂(lè)會(huì)。為了使這次活動(dòng)能給大家留下更深的印象，她請(qǐng)大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點(diǎn)心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回來(lái)上汽車(chē)的時(shí)候，她問(wèn)小薩莉：“你今天玩得好嗎?”

　　“噢，好極了，小姐，” 薩莉說(shuō)，“除了音樂(lè)其它都很好。”

　　英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)單笑話(huà)短文：I don't think I know-我不知道啊

　　Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"

　　John: "What do you think it is, sir?"

　　Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"

　　John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"‘

　　老師：“John，動(dòng)詞ring的過(guò)去分詞是什么?”。約翰：“你想它是什么呢”?老師：“我不用想，我知道!”。約翰：“我想我不知道”。

　　英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)單笑話(huà)短文：遲到的原因The Reason of Being Late

　　Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?

　　Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.

　　老　師：約翰尼，為什么你每天早晨都遲到?

　　約翰尼：每當(dāng)我經(jīng)過(guò)學(xué)校附近的拐角處，就見(jiàn)路牌上寫(xiě)著‘學(xué)校-緩行’。

　　英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)單笑話(huà)短文：人們什么時(shí)候說(shuō)話(huà)最少?When Do People Talk Least?

　　Student A: When do people talk least?

　　Student B: In February.

　　Student A: Why?

　　Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.

　　學(xué)生甲：人們?cè)谑裁磿r(shí)候說(shuō)話(huà)最少?學(xué)生乙：在二月。學(xué)生甲：為什么呢?學(xué)生乙：因?yàn)槎率且荒曛凶疃痰囊粋€(gè)月。

　　英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)單笑話(huà)短文："孩子"的復(fù)數(shù)形式

　　Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?

　　Tom: Men.

　　Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?

　　Tom: Twins.

　　"孩子"的復(fù)數(shù)形式老師：湯姆，‘男人’這個(gè)詞的復(fù)數(shù)形式是什么?

　　湯姆：男人們。老師：答得好。那‘孩子’的復(fù)數(shù)形式呢?湯姆：雙胞胎。

　　英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)單笑話(huà)短文：除了音樂(lè)All Except the Music

　　A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?""Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."

　　一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學(xué)生多了解一點(diǎn)優(yōu)秀的古典音樂(lè)，就安排了一天下午去聽(tīng)音樂(lè)會(huì)。為了使這次活動(dòng)能給大家留下更深的印象，她請(qǐng)大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點(diǎn)心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回來(lái)上汽車(chē)的時(shí)候，她問(wèn)小薩莉：“你今天玩得好嗎?”“噢，好極了，小姐，” 薩莉說(shuō)，“除了音樂(lè)其它都很好。”

　　英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)單笑話(huà)短文：遲到

　　My Sister's Fingers

　　Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

　　Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.

　　Teacher: I don't see any bandages.

　　Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.

　　我妹妹的手指頭老師：凱溫，這次你怎么又遲到了?凱溫：對(duì)不起，老師，我在家釘釘子，砸壞了兩個(gè)手指頭。老師：怎么沒(méi)有扎繃帶呀?凱溫：噢，砸的不是我的手指頭，我叫小妹妹扶著釘子的。

　　英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)單笑話(huà)短文：天氣怎么樣

　　The Climate of New Zealand

　　Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

　　Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

　　Teacher: Wrong.

　　Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

　　新西蘭的氣候老師：馬修，新西蘭的氣候怎么樣?馬修：先生，那里的天氣很冷。老師：錯(cuò)了。馬修：可是，先生!從那兒運(yùn)來(lái)的豬肉都凍得硬邦邦的。

　　英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)單笑話(huà)短文：Improvement

　　One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"

　　"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."

　　一位學(xué)生對(duì)另一位說(shuō)：“你的 英語(yǔ) 最近學(xué)的怎么樣?”“很好，我過(guò)去不懂英國(guó)人說(shuō)話(huà)，可現(xiàn)在是英國(guó)人不懂我的話(huà)了。”

　　英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)單笑話(huà)短文：狗也知道這個(gè)諺語(yǔ)嗎?

　　The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.

　　"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

　　"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

　　一個(gè)小女孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。“沒(méi)有關(guān)系，”一位先生說(shuō)，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語(yǔ)嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”

　　知道"Family"這個(gè)單詞的含義嗎?

　　知道"Family"這個(gè)單詞的含義嗎? 爸 F ather和 A nd媽 M other我 I愛(ài) L ove你 Y ou爸媽我愛(ài)你=家庭。

　　Englishi搞笑讀法

　　小時(shí)侯上學(xué)，把“English” 讀為“應(yīng)給利息”的同學(xué)當(dāng)了銀行行長(zhǎng);讀為“陰溝里洗”的成了菜販子;讀為“因果聯(lián)系”的成了哲學(xué)家;讀為“硬改歷史”的成了政治家; 讀為“英國(guó)里去”的成了海外華僑;而我，不小心讀成了“應(yīng)該累死”結(jié)果成了打工的!