簡(jiǎn)單幽默英語(yǔ)小故事
簡(jiǎn)單幽默英語(yǔ)小故事
笑話(huà)使人們?cè)诳贪宓纳钪懈械揭唤z快意和放松。與此同時(shí),笑話(huà)也是人們反對(duì)極權(quán)和專(zhuān)制制度的有力武器。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編精心收集的簡(jiǎn)單幽默英語(yǔ)小故事，希望大家喜歡!
簡(jiǎn)單幽默英語(yǔ)小故事篇一
A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”
一個(gè)盲人和他的導(dǎo)盲犬站在十字路口上正等著過(guò)馬路。這時(shí)那個(gè)一導(dǎo)盲犬把腿抬了起來(lái)開(kāi)始小便，毫無(wú)疑問(wèn)盲人的褲子濕了。但是這個(gè)盲人卻平靜地從口袋里拿出了一塊餅干給狗吃。一個(gè)過(guò)路人對(duì)此很不解地說(shuō)道:“你的脾氣真好，那條狗都作了這樣的事情你還拿餅干給它。”
"Not really，”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”
“不是這樣的。”盲人回答說(shuō):“我只是想知道它的嘴在哪里，這樣我就可以踢它的屁股。”
簡(jiǎn)單幽默英語(yǔ)小故事篇二
A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.
一位來(lái)自大城市的律師在一樁訴訟案中，代表鐵路部門(mén)同一位老農(nóng)場(chǎng)主打官司。這個(gè)農(nóng)場(chǎng)主的牛在有鐵路的地方不見(jiàn)了。他說(shuō)牛一定是被火車(chē)撞了，所以要求賠償買(mǎi)牛的錢(qián)。
The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check，the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success，telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man，but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”
案子先要進(jìn)行公審，才能被送到法庭后面的會(huì)議廳里進(jìn)行討論。農(nóng)場(chǎng)主剛一出現(xiàn)，鐵路一方的律師就把他拉到了一旁，想進(jìn)行庭外和解。最后律師盡其所能，說(shuō)服了農(nóng)場(chǎng)主，只支付他所要求賠償?shù)囊话?。農(nóng)場(chǎng)主簽完了契約，取走了支票以后，年輕的律師為自己的成功感到得意洋洋。他對(duì)農(nóng)場(chǎng)主說(shuō):“老頭，你知道嗎，我本不想告訴你的，剛才我是嚇唬你。我本來(lái)贏不了這場(chǎng)官司的，那天早晨當(dāng)火車(chē)穿過(guò)你的農(nóng)場(chǎng)附近的時(shí)候，司機(jī)睡著了，火夫正在餐車(chē)?yán)铩Ｎ腋菊也怀鲆粋€(gè)證人。我是嚇唬你的。”
The old rancher replied，"Well，I’11 tell you，young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”
老農(nóng)場(chǎng)主說(shuō):“我要告訴你，小子，我覺(jué)得贏了這場(chǎng)官司，我有一些不安心，因?yàn)槲夷穷^可愛(ài)的牛今天早晨已經(jīng)回來(lái)了。”
簡(jiǎn)單幽默英語(yǔ)小故事篇三
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!”
奧斯卡駕駛著自己嶄新的奔馳汽車(chē)去他最喜愛(ài)的體育用品商店。他把車(chē)停在了外面，到店里去找經(jīng)常為他服務(wù)的簡(jiǎn)小姐看一些資料。簡(jiǎn)是一位非常漂亮的金發(fā)女郎。奧斯卡走進(jìn)店里受到了她熱烈的歡迎。奧斯卡提出想先自己轉(zhuǎn)轉(zhuǎn)，再找簡(jiǎn)幫忙。簡(jiǎn)同意了。5分鐘后，簡(jiǎn)跑過(guò)來(lái)大叫著:“奧斯卡，奧斯卡!我剛才看到一個(gè)人把你的新奔馳車(chē)開(kāi)走了!”
"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"
“我的天啊!你沒(méi)叫住他嗎?”
"No,”she said，"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”
“沒(méi)有，”簡(jiǎn)說(shuō):“我的方法更好，我記下了他的車(chē)牌號(hào)。”
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