英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑
笑話,顧名思義,是一種通過(guò)幽默的文字或圖示來(lái)達(dá)到令人會(huì)心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文學(xué)形式。小編精心收集了爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇1
When my wife went in the hospital for surgery several years ago, a rule prohibited childrenunder 12 from visiting patients. Our 11 -year -old seemed to understand, but our six -year-old took the restriction very hard. We discovered why she was so unusually upset when weheard her talking to her mother on the phone for the first time. As she said good bye, shetearfully exclaimed,"I'll see you when I'm 12,Mom!"
幾年前,我妻子動(dòng)手術(shù)時(shí),醫(yī)院有條規(guī)定 禁止12歲以下的兒童探望病人。我們11歲的孩子似乎能理解,可6歲的女兒對(duì)此卻非常傷心。等聽到她頭一次給她媽媽打電話,我們才明白她為何如此分外激動(dòng)。在電話里,她邊說(shuō)再見,邊哭著喊道 媽媽,等我12歲時(shí)一定去看你!
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇2
Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took themto their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
迪克年齡七歲，他的妹妹凱瑟琳五歲。一天，媽媽把他們帶到姨媽家去玩，自己就到大城市去買些新的衣服。
The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into thekitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cutthis cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like agentleman."
孩子們玩了個(gè)把小時(shí)，在四點(diǎn)半的時(shí)候，姨媽領(lǐng)著迪克走進(jìn)了廚房。她交給迪克一塊精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并對(duì)他說(shuō)：“喏，迪克，給你刀子，把這塊蛋糕一切為二，給你妹妹一塊。不過(guò)，你得記住要做得像一個(gè)紳士那樣。”
"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?"
迪克問：“像一個(gè)紳士?紳士怎樣做呢?”
"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.
他姨媽馬上回答說(shuō)：“紳士總是把大的一塊讓給別人的。”
"Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sisterand said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".
迪克說(shuō)了一聲“噢”。他對(duì)此想了一會(huì)，然后，他把蛋糕拿給妹妹，并對(duì)她說(shuō)：“凱瑟琳，你來(lái)把這塊蛋糕一切為二吧。”
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇3
One day a ten-year-old child asked his mother, "Mom, what is a synonym?" "What? You evendon't know what a synonym is? How foolish you are. When I describe you as foolish, I meanyou're silly, stupid. Now you know what a synonym is ?" "Yes, a synonym is using badlanguage." The child concluded.
一天， 一個(gè)10歲的孩子問母親："媽，什么是同義詞?" "你說(shuō)什么?竟然連同義詞都不懂!真是個(gè)笨蛋。我說(shuō)你是個(gè)笨蛋，就是說(shuō)你是個(gè)傻瓜，是個(gè)蠢貨。你現(xiàn)在明白同義詞的意思了嗎?" "明白了。同義詞就是罵人。"
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇4
Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is onlyone piece left. Can you explain that?
母親：約翰尼，今天早上我在食品櫥里放了兩塊蛋糕，現(xiàn)在只剩下一塊了，你說(shuō)是怎么回事?
Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn't notice the other.
約翰尼：哦，我想是因?yàn)槔锩嫣?，我沒有看見另一塊。
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇5
"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you saidyesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying tostop it."
“孩子，你為什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了嗎?” “沒有，老師?？墒悄阕蛱煺f(shuō)你告訴我的知識(shí)都是一個(gè)耳朵里進(jìn)，一個(gè)耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”
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