英語(yǔ)笑話大全
英語(yǔ)笑話大全
冷笑話作為一種新興的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象，越來(lái)越受到大家的關(guān)注，尤其在網(wǎng)絡(luò)、雜志、微博、電影上十分盛行。小編精心收集了爆笑英文笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
爆笑英文笑話篇1
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for ." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!
杰瑞去看精神病醫(yī)生。“醫(yī)生，我有些不對(duì)勁。每次睡覺(jué)的時(shí)候，我都感覺(jué)有人在床下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時(shí)間，”醫(yī)生說(shuō)，“每周來(lái)三次，我會(huì)治好你。”“費(fèi)用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會(huì)認(rèn)真考慮的。”杰瑞答道。六個(gè)月后醫(yī)生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“為什么你再也沒(méi)來(lái)呢?”醫(yī)生問(wèn)。“一次一百塊錢(qián)嗎?有個(gè)酒吧服務(wù)生收了十塊錢(qián)就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎么做到的?”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉?，F(xiàn)在那沒(méi)人了!”
爆笑英文笑話篇2
Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.
在期末考試之前，湯姆告訴他的母親：“媽媽?zhuān)易蛱焱砩献隽艘粋€(gè)夢(mèng)，夢(mèng)見(jiàn)我通過(guò)了今天的考試。”“不要相信夢(mèng)，親愛(ài)的。據(jù)說(shuō)夢(mèng)中的經(jīng)歷通常與現(xiàn)實(shí)相反。”媽媽答道。“那么，我真希望在今晚的夢(mèng)中，我的其他功課都不及格。”湯姆說(shuō)。
爆笑英文笑話篇3
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"
一天，有一個(gè)城市里的游客來(lái)到一個(gè)小鄉(xiāng)村，在鄉(xiāng)間路上開(kāi)著車(chē)，想看看農(nóng)莊是什么樣子，也想看看農(nóng)夫怎樣種田過(guò)日子。這位城里人看見(jiàn)一位農(nóng)夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱著一頭豬，并把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹(shù)上的蘋(píng)果。城里人對(duì)農(nóng)夫說(shuō)，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋(píng)果的，但是，這不是很浪費(fèi)時(shí)間嗎?"那位農(nóng)夫 回答說(shuō)，"時(shí)間對(duì)豬有什么意義?"
爆笑英文笑話篇4
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You’re a good boy," said the mother proudly.
"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢(qián)。
”昨天給你的錢(qián)干什么了?“
”我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，“他回答說(shuō)。
”你真是個(gè)好孩子，“媽媽驕傲地說(shuō)。“再給你兩分錢(qián)?？赡銥槭裁磳?duì)那位老太太那么感興趣呢?”
“她是個(gè)賣(mài)糖果的。”
看了“爆笑英文笑話”的人還看了：