下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的二年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　二年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：

　　A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'

　　這里想對(duì)將要退休者提一點(diǎn)忠告。如果你只有65歲的話，千萬(wàn)別進(jìn)退休社區(qū)。因?yàn)槟抢锶巳硕计甙耸畾q或者八九十歲了。每當(dāng)要搬東西，抬東西或者裝東西時(shí)，他們就叫喊，“讓小的干吧。”

　　Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?

　　Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.

　　Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?

　　Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.

　　媽媽?zhuān)焊ダ椎希愕哪槥槭裁茨敲醇t?

　　弗雷迪：我剛才在大街上跑，為的是阻止一次打架?

　　媽媽?zhuān)耗阕龅膶?duì)，誰(shuí)和誰(shuí)在打架。

　　弗雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。

　　二年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：

　　有個(gè)人不小心撞了一個(gè)外國(guó)人。

　　他：I'm sorry

　　外:I'm sorry ,too.

　　他:I'm sorry ,three

　　外:What are you sorry for ?

　　他:I'm sorry ,five.

　　相當(dāng)簡(jiǎn)單~

　　二年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：Three Turtles 三只烏龜

　　Tony and his father are eating dinner.

　　托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。

　　Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy?”

　　突然，托尼問(wèn)他的爸爸：“爸爸，蒼蠅好吃嗎?”

　　Dad frowns and says, “No, I think it’s yucky. Why do you ask me this question? It’s a silly question.”

　　爸爸皺眉說(shuō)：“我想不好吃。你怎么會(huì)問(wèn)這個(gè)問(wèn)題?這可是一個(gè)愚蠢的問(wèn)題。”

　　But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate.”

　　可是托尼說(shuō)：“剛才你盤(pán)子里有一只蒼蠅。”

　　二年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：Tell a lie

　　Mom: "Which banana do you want, Victor?"

　　Victor: "I want that one of the greatest."

　　Mom: "Victor, you should be polite, to have that little one."

　　Victor: "Mom, I must lie to be polite?"

　　媽媽?zhuān)?ldquo;你要哪一只香蕉，維克多?”

　　維克多：“我要那只最大的。”

　　媽媽?zhuān)?ldquo;維克多，你應(yīng)該懂禮貌，要那只小的。”

　　維克多：“媽媽?zhuān)y道懂禮貌就必須說(shuō)謊嗎?”

　　二年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：I Don't Like an Argument 我不想爭(zhēng)論

　　Gerald, asked the teacher, what is the shape of the earth?

　　It's round, answered Gerald.

　　How do you know it's round? continued the teacher.

　　All right, it's square then, he replied, I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it!

　　杰拉爾德，老師問(wèn)：地球是什么形狀?

　　是圓形的，杰拉爾德回答道。

　　你怎么知道是圓的?老師又問(wèn)。

　　好吧，那它是方的，學(xué)生回答說(shuō)：我可不想與你爭(zhēng)論這件事情。

　　二年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：Who Is the Laziest 誰(shuí)最懶

　　Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

　　Tom: I don't know, father.

　　Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

　　Tom: Our teacher, father.

　　父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過(guò)，現(xiàn)在我想問(wèn)你個(gè)問(wèn)題。你們班上誰(shuí)最懶?

　　湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。

　　父親：啊，不對(duì)，你知道!想想看，當(dāng)別的孩子們都在做作業(yè)、寫(xiě)字時(shí)，誰(shuí)在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課?

　　湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。

　　But the teacher cried 可是老師哭了

　　二年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：Who is Stupid 誰(shuí)愚蠢

　　A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

　　Little Johnny then stood up.

　　The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

　　"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

　　一個(gè)老師在對(duì)學(xué)生們講心理學(xué)，“誰(shuí)認(rèn)為自己蠢就站起來(lái)?”她一開(kāi)始就說(shuō)。

　　小約翰尼站了起來(lái)。

　　“你認(rèn)為你很蠢嗎，小約翰尼?”老師問(wèn)。

　　“不是的，老師，我只是不喜歡看你一個(gè)人站著。”

　　二年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：Lost Purse 丟失的錢(qián)包

　　A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a bill in it. Now there are twenty class="main">