英語(yǔ)小笑話簡(jiǎn)單
笑話是文化的重要組成部分,通過(guò)笑話,我們可以了解一個(gè)國(guó)家的文化內(nèi)涵。小編精心收集了簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話篇1
A Satisfied Gustomer
一位心滿意足的客戶
A rough looking fellow strolled into the bank and walked up to the teller.
有一位相貌粗魯?shù)募一镒哌M(jìn)銀行對(duì)柜臺(tái)職員說(shuō):
"I wanna open a god-damned checking account. "
“我想開(kāi)個(gè)你他媽的活期存款賬戶。”
"CertainLy, sir," replied the young lady, “but there's no need to use that kind of language."
“當(dāng)然可以啦，先生，”年輕的小姐回答說(shuō)，“但沒(méi)有必要使用那種字眼。”
"Hey, get your ass in gear, will ya? I'm in a hurry.
“嘿，你他媽的能不能快一點(diǎn)嗎?我在趕時(shí)間呢!”
"Sir, I’m not used to being spoken to in that way. "
“先生，我不習(xí)慣別人那樣子對(duì)我說(shuō)話。”
"I wanna open a fucking checking account, and I want to do it now, understand?"
“我要開(kāi)一個(gè)××的活期存款賬戶，而且要現(xiàn)在就辦，懂了嗎?”
"Sir, I'm going to get the manager," said the indignant young lady.
“先生，我去找經(jīng)理來(lái)。”氣憤的年輕小姐說(shuō)著。
Soon she returned with the manager, a dignified white haired gentleman who asked, "Whatseems to be the trouble, sir?"
不久她帶了經(jīng)理回來(lái)，那位滿頭白發(fā)、看起來(lái)很莊嚴(yán)的老先生問(wèn)道：“先生，到底有什么問(wèn)題嗎?
“I just won ,000,000 in the lottery, and I want to open a goddamn checking account. "
“我剛中彩券得了一千萬(wàn)美元，我想開(kāi)個(gè)你他媽的活期存款賬戶。”
"I see," said the manager warmly. "And this bitch is giving you trouble?"
“我知道了，”經(jīng)理說(shuō)道，“而這個(gè)臭婊子在給您添麻煩，是吧?”
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話篇2
Play Now Pay Later
先享受后付款
Jack the playboy had explored every corner of the world and dallied with many women,
花花公子杰克喜歡到世界各地探險(xiǎn)，和許多妓女風(fēng)流，
but in Hong Kong he finally encountered a professional girl who left him with far more than fond memories.
但在香港，他終于遇到一名職業(yè)神女，這名神女留給他的不止是溫柔的回憶而已。
First, he consulted a British doctor.
首先他請(qǐng)教了一名英國(guó)醫(yī)生。
"Good Lord!" exclaimed the medic,
“我的天啊!”醫(yī)生叫道，
"you've got more venereal diseases than a medical textbook. I'm afraid we' re going to have to amputate. "
“你所患的性病比一本醫(yī)學(xué)教科書(shū)還要豐富，恐怕我們必須把你的東西切除掉。”
Horrified, the playboy sought out an American specialist, who shook his head gravely and said,
花花公子心生恐懼，便找了一位美國(guó)專(zhuān)科醫(yī)師幫忙，但那名專(zhuān)科醫(yī)師表情凝重地?fù)u頭說(shuō)：
"Sorry, son; if we don't amputate your member, the disease will spread to your other organs. "
“對(duì)不起，小兄弟，如果我們不切除那活兒，病毒將會(huì)感染到其他器官。”
Desperately, the swinger consulted a Chinese herbalist.
那名風(fēng)流公子走投無(wú)路，便向一位中醫(yī)請(qǐng)教。
The wise old man examined the patient carefully and nodded his head sagely.
這位充滿智慧的老先生仔細(xì)檢查病人后煞有介事地點(diǎn)頭說(shuō)道：
"I know your problem," he said. "You play with bad girl, she very sick, now you very sick. "
“我知道你的問(wèn)題。你和壞女人亂搞，她的性病很?chē)?yán)重，你現(xiàn)在的病情也很?chē)?yán)重。
“Doctor, the British and American doctors told me my pride and joy would have to be cut off... "
“大夫，英國(guó)和美國(guó)的醫(yī)生都說(shuō)我的東西必須要切除……”
"These Western doctors, all they want to do is cut, cut, cut, and charge big money. "
“這些西醫(yī)所做的就是切，切，切，然后收一大筆錢(qián)。”
"You mean I don't need surgery? ! " exclaimed the young man joyously.
“你意思是我可以不用動(dòng)外科手術(shù)?!”年輕人喜出望外地問(wèn)道。
"Don't you worry, " said the ancient practitioner.
“別擔(dān)心，”老中醫(yī)師說(shuō)：
"You go home, relax, wait two, three weeks, pecker fall off by himself."
“回家去，好好休息一陣，等二三個(gè)星期后，那活兒會(huì)自己掉下來(lái)。”
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話篇3
Put Yourself in My Place
設(shè)身處地替人想一想
Down on the farm, Mom told Dad to fix the outhouse,
某一農(nóng)場(chǎng)上，老媽要老爸去修理茅房。
Dad took a look at the shitter and returned to Mom.
老爸只瞧了茅房一眼就回來(lái)了。
"There ain't nothin' wrong with that shithouse, Mom. "
“那個(gè)茅房什么問(wèn)題也沒(méi)有啊，孩子的娘。”
Mom took Dad back to the out house and stuck his head down in the hole.
老媽將老爸帶回茅房，把他的頭塞進(jìn)茅坑當(dāng)中。
"Hey," said Dad, "my beard is stuck!"
“嘿!”老爸說(shuō)道，“我的胡子粘住了!”
"Aggravatin', ain't it?"
“問(wèn)題嚴(yán)重了，是不是呢?”
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