英語笑話大全爆笑
笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放松。與此同時,笑話也是人們反對極權(quán)和專制制度的有力武器。小編精心收集了爆笑英語笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
爆笑英語笑話篇1
Fine for Parking
停車罰款
"Tell me again,"asked the judge, "Why you parked there?"
“告訴我，”法官問道，“你為什么把車停在那兒?”
The driver rose and answered respectfully,
司機(jī)站起身，恭恭敬敬地回答，
"Because, Your Honor, it said‘Fine for Parking'."
“因?yàn)樽鹁吹拈w下，牌子上寫著‘可以停車’。”
爆笑英語笑話篇2
A Satisfied Gustomer
一位心滿意足的客戶
A rough looking fellow strolled into the bank and walked up to the teller.
有一位相貌粗魯?shù)募一镒哌M(jìn)銀行對柜臺職員說:
"I wanna open a god-damned checking account. "
“我想開個你他媽的活期存款賬戶。”
"CertainLy, sir," replied the young lady, “but there's no need to use that kind of language."
“當(dāng)然可以啦，先生，”年輕的小姐回答說，“但沒有必要使用那種字眼。”
"Hey, get your ass in gear, will ya? I'm in a hurry.
“嘿，你他媽的能不能快一點(diǎn)嗎?我在趕時間呢!”
"Sir, I’m not used to being spoken to in that way. "
“先生，我不習(xí)慣別人那樣子對我說話。”
"I wanna open a fucking checking account, and I want to do it now, understand?"
“我要開一個××的活期存款賬戶，而且要現(xiàn)在就辦，懂了嗎?”
"Sir, I'm going to get the manager," said the indignant young lady.
“先生，我去找經(jīng)理來。”氣憤的年輕小姐說著。
Soon she returned with the manager, a dignified white haired gentleman who asked, "Whatseems to be the trouble, sir?"
不久她帶了經(jīng)理回來，那位滿頭白發(fā)、看起來很莊嚴(yán)的老先生問道：“先生，到底有什么問題嗎?
“I just won ,000,000 in the lottery, and I want to open a goddamn checking account. "
“我剛中彩券得了一千萬美元，我想開個你他媽的活期存款賬戶。”
"I see," said the manager warmly. "And this bitch is giving you trouble?"
“我知道了，”經(jīng)理說道，“而這個臭婊子在給您添麻煩，是吧?”
爆笑英語笑話篇3
Where Do You keep Yours?
你的東西放到哪兒去了?
The famous but rather aged, doctor was making his rounds, followed by a young intern.
一位上了年紀(jì)的著名醫(yī)生正在各病房做例行巡視，一位年輕的實(shí)習(xí)醫(yī)生跟著他。
Suddenly the intern noticed something peculiar.
突然那名實(shí)習(xí)醫(yī)生注意到一件怪事。
"Say, doctor, are you aware that you have a suppository behind your ear?"
“醫(yī)師先生，您有沒發(fā)現(xiàn)您耳朵放了一支栓劑呢?"
"Oh, shit!" exclaimed the eminent practitioner.
“喔!真是糟糕!”那位名醫(yī)說道。
"Do you know what this means?"
“你知道那表示什么嗎?”
"What?"
“什么呢?”
"Some asshole has got my pen!"
“我把我的鋼筆塞到某一位病人的屁股里面去了!”
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