經(jīng)典英語笑話大全

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的一些關(guān)于經(jīng)典英語笑話7篇，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話一：咒語

　　An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

　　一個男人找到一個巫婆，要求她解開一條困擾了自己40年的咒語。

　　The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

　　巫婆說："或許我可以做的到，但你必須一字不落地告訴我下咒的時候說的那句咒語。"

　　The old man says without hesitation - "I now pronounce you man and wife."

　　男人毫不猶豫的答道：“‘我現(xiàn)在宣布你們成為夫婦。’”

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話二：世界各地的蹩腳英語

　?、買f you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself。

　　日本旅館：如果您想調(diào)節(jié)您房間的溫度，請控制您自己。

　　②Please don't feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty。

　　匈牙利動物園：請不要給動物喂食。如果您有食品，請喂給值班警衛(wèi)。

　　③Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar。

　　挪威酒吧：女士們不要在酒吧里生孩子。

　?、蹻ur coats made for ladies from their skins。

　　瑞典皮貨商店：為女士們制作的皮大衣，是用她們的皮制成的。

　?、軹eeth extracted by the latest Methodists 。

　　香港牙科診所：由最新的衛(wèi)理公會教徒給您拔牙。

　?、轉(zhuǎn)rop your trousers here for best results。

　　泰國的干洗店：在這里脫掉您的褲子，等待最好的結(jié)果。

　?、逽pecialist in women and other diseases。

　　意大利婦科診所：我們是women和其他疾病的專家。

　?、郬elcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday。

　　俄國公墓：歡迎訪問這個公墓，許多著名的俄國藝術(shù)家每天埋在這里，但星期四不埋。

　?、醀e take your bags and send them in all directions。

　　丹麥機場：我們將拿走您的行李，送往四面八方。

　　⑩The manager has personally passed all water served here。

　　墨西哥旅館：旅館經(jīng)理將親自為您撒尿。

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話三：送出去還有的東西

　　What can Santa give away and still keep?

　　Answer: a cold.

　　什么東西圣誕老人可以分送出去，自己卻也還留著?

　　答案：感冒。

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話四：圣誕老人的愛好

　　What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?

　　Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.

　　圣誕老人喜歡在花園里做什么?

　　答案：鋤地。(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是鋤草之意，ho則是圣誕老人的笑聲。)

　　鉛筆

　　What do you do if one of Santa’s reindeer swallows your pencil?

　　Answer: use a pen.

　　若圣誕老人的馴鹿吃掉你的鉛筆該怎么辦?

　　答案：用原子筆

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話五：1000元的腦筋急轉(zhuǎn)彎

　　On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel.

　　Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?

　　圣誕節(jié)前夕，圣誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律師在一家高級飯店一同等電梯，門還未開前，三人同時看到地上有一張新臺幣1000元的鈔票，猜猜誰會將它撿起?

　　Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

　　答案：當(dāng)然是圣誕老人啦!為什么?因為大家都知道另外兩者并不存在。

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話六：Cry

　　"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying."

　　"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any."

　　"But has he finished his own cake?"

　　"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."

　　“湯姆，你弟弟怎么了?” 媽媽在廚房里問。“他在哭。”

　　“沒事兒，媽媽，”湯姆答道。“我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因為我不給他吃。”

　　“他已經(jīng)吃完自己的了么?”

　　“是的。”“我?guī)退酝陼r，他也哭了。”

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話七：可憐的男人

　　A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.

　　Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"

　　The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."

　　Bartender: "That should make you happy."

　　The man: "No, the month is up today!"

　　一個男人坐在酒吧里，傷心至極。

　　酒吧招待：“你怎么了?跟老婆鬧矛盾了?”

　　男人：“我們吵了一架，她說一個月都不跟我說話。”

　　酒吧招待：“那你應(yīng)該高興才是啊!”

　　男人：“不，今天是這個月的最后一天。”