最簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話
笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過(guò)笑話我們可以看到一個(gè)民族的生存環(huán)境、生活方式、社會(huì)關(guān)系和心理特征等等。小編精心收集了最簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
最簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話篇1
The preacher was vexed(生氣的) because a certain member of his congregation(集會(huì)，圣會(huì)) always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start(嚇一跳) , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(講道壇) , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧師非常生氣，因?yàn)榭傆幸粋€(gè)人在他說(shuō)教時(shí)打瞌睡。
一個(gè)星期天，正當(dāng)坐在前排的那個(gè)人又在瞌睡時(shí)，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時(shí)睡覺(jué)。于是他低聲對(duì)信徒們說(shuō)：“想去天堂的人，都請(qǐng)站起來(lái)吧。”所有的人都站了起來(lái)——當(dāng)然，除了那個(gè)打瞌睡的人。在低聲說(shuō)過(guò)請(qǐng)坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請(qǐng)站起來(lái)!”
打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來(lái)?？吹侥翈煾哒驹诮虊?，正生氣的看著他。這個(gè)人說(shuō)道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們?cè)谶x什么，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”
最簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話篇2
Stupid Question
Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"
After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.
“Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily.
But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?”
愚蠢的問(wèn)題
丹在一個(gè)大城市的某個(gè)俱樂(lè)部當(dāng)守門(mén)人。每天都有數(shù)千人經(jīng)過(guò)他的門(mén)口，而且許多人都會(huì)停下來(lái)問(wèn)他:“請(qǐng)問(wèn)現(xiàn)在幾點(diǎn)?”
幾個(gè)月后，丹想:“我不想再回答這些蠢人提出的問(wèn)題了，我要去買(mǎi)一只大鐘，把它掛在這兒的墻上。”于是他買(mǎi)了一只鐘，把它掛在了墻上。
“現(xiàn)在人們總不會(huì)再停下來(lái)問(wèn)我時(shí)間了。”他高興地想。
可是打那以后，每天仍有許多人停下來(lái)，看看鐘，然后問(wèn)丹:“這鐘準(zhǔn)嗎?”
最簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話篇3
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問(wèn)，“發(fā)生了什么事?”
“一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說(shuō)。
“再見(jiàn)到他你能認(rèn)出來(lái)嗎?”媽媽問(wèn)。
“他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說(shuō)。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。”
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