簡(jiǎn)單小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話
笑話是內(nèi)容豐富并具有出乎意料結(jié)尾的幽默口頭故事。笑話幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領(lǐng)域,其中包括政治笑話、經(jīng)濟(jì)笑話、家庭生活笑話、關(guān)于民族性格的笑話等。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了簡(jiǎn)單小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)單小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
The Big Baby
"You'll have to take care of the baby today," a woman told her husband . " I'm not feeling well."
"Then you must stay in bed and rest, dear. " her husband said. "I'll be pleased to look afterour baby. "
"Thank you. I'll have a quiet day and I'll soon get better. " his wife told him.
"Shall I do the shopping for you as well?" her husband asked.
She was very pleased and said, "That will help me very much. I'll give you a list of things tobuy. "
She wrote out the list and gave it to him.
"You can get all these things at the supermarket," she said.
"You can put the baby in the shopping cart, then you won't have to leave him outside."
The man took the baby to the supermarket and put him in the shopping cart. Then hepushed the shopping cart along the rows of things to buy and looked for those that were onhis list.
At first all was well, but then the baby began to cry.
Then he started to scream.
And scream!
And SCREAM!
"Keep calm ,George, " the man said. "Don't get excited. Don't shout, George. Don't loseyour temper, George.
A woman in the supermarket heard him saying these things. She walked up to him.
"I think you are wonderful," she said. "You are so patient with your little George. "
"Madam, " the man said, "I'm George. He's Edward.
大嬰兒
“今天你得照看孩子，”女人對(duì)丈夫說(shuō)，“我身體不舒服。”
“親愛(ài)的，那你呆在床上休息，”丈夫說(shuō)，“我很高興照顧我們的孩子。”
“謝謝。今天我將清靜一下了，我很快就會(huì)好點(diǎn)的。”
“我為你去買東西，好嗎?”
她很高興地說(shuō)：“這幫我很大忙呢。我給你列個(gè)要買的東西的單子。”
她列好單子，遞給他。
“在超級(jí)市場(chǎng)你能買到這些東西，”她說(shuō)。
“你把孩子放在購(gòu)物手推車?yán)?，就不用把孩子留在外面了?rdquo;
男人帶著孩子到超市，把他放在推車?yán)?。然后推著車子沿著貨架走，尋找單子列出的東西。
開(kāi)始一切都進(jìn)行得很順利，接著孩子開(kāi)始哭起來(lái)。
然后孩子開(kāi)始尖聲喊叫。
尖叫。
又尖叫。
“保持鎮(zhèn)靜，喬治，”男人說(shuō)，“不要沖動(dòng)。不要喊叫，喬治。不要發(fā)脾氣，喬治。”
一個(gè)女人在超市聽(tīng)到他說(shuō)的這些話。她走到他跟前。
“我覺(jué)得你真不錯(cuò)，“她說(shuō)，”你對(duì)你的小喬治真有耐心。”
“夫人，”男人說(shuō)，“我是喬治，他是愛(ài)德華。”
簡(jiǎn)單小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
My Roommate
My roommate was interested in a young man in her English-literature class, but she was tooshy to let him know. One day she overheard him say he was on his way to the library for acertain book. She rushed to the library, found the book and stuck in it a letter from hermother.
"Why would he want to read a letter from your mother?" I asked.
"He wouldn't, but if he's any kind of gentleman, he'll return it to me " Her dorm and roomnumbers were on the envelope, of course.
The next day he appeared with the letter and asked my roommate out on a date. "Couldn'tfail," she later told me. "The book was Great Expectations.
我的室友
我的室友對(duì)她英國(guó)文學(xué)課上的一個(gè)年輕人有意思，但又不好意思讓他知道。一天，她聽(tīng)到他和別人說(shuō)要去圖書(shū)館借某本書(shū)。她沖到圖書(shū)館，找到那本書(shū)，夾進(jìn)去她媽媽來(lái)的一封信。
“他為什么會(huì)要讀你媽媽來(lái)的信呢?”我問(wèn)。
“他不會(huì)讀的。但如果他還算是個(gè)紳士的話，他會(huì)把信還給我的。”當(dāng)然啦，她的宿舍及房間號(hào)碼就在信封上。
第二天，他拿著那封信出現(xiàn)了，并約我室友出去。“錯(cuò)不了的，”她后來(lái)對(duì)我說(shuō)，“那本書(shū)的書(shū)名是《遠(yuǎn)大前程》。”
簡(jiǎn)單小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
12 Post Cards
My teen-age daughter was preparing to return home after having visited her grandparents for a few weeks one summer. Her grandfather gave her 12 post cards .
"Here, write us a few lines every month," he said.
Months passed and the cards remained unused-that is until the day this letter arrived:
"Dear Jennifer,
Life is a series of stages.
As a child, I looked forward to becoming a teenager-that happened.
As a teen-ager ,I looked forward to becoming a young man-that happened.
As a young man, I looked forward to meeting a young woman, in love and becoming a married man-that happened.
As a married man, I looked forward to becoming a father-that happened.
As a father, I looked forward to becoming a grandfather to beautiful ,intelligent grandchildren-that happened.
Then I looked forward to the day they would learn to write-that hasn't happened yet.
Yours Sincerely"
十二張卡片
一個(gè)夏天，我十多歲的女兒在她祖父母家過(guò)了幾周。她準(zhǔn)備回家時(shí)，祖父給了她十二張卡片。
“每月給我們來(lái)個(gè)短信，”他說(shuō)。
幾個(gè)月過(guò)去了，可卡片一直放在那兒沒(méi)用----直到有一天來(lái)了這樣一封信：
“親愛(ài)的詹妮芙：
生活是一系列階段組成的。
還是個(gè)孩子的時(shí)候，我期待著成為一個(gè)青少年----我如愿以償了。
還是個(gè)年輕人的時(shí)候，我期待著遇到一個(gè)年輕的女人，戀愛(ài)、結(jié)婚----我如愿以償了。
結(jié)了婚，我便期待著成為一個(gè)父親----我如愿以償了。
作為父親，我期待著成為一個(gè)祖父，有漂亮、聰明的孫兒孫女----我也如愿以償了。
接著，我期待著有一天他們能給我寫信----我卻還沒(méi)有如愿以償。
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