簡(jiǎn)短正能量英文笑話大全
簡(jiǎn)短正能量英文笑話大全
近年來(lái),冷笑話作為一種新興的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象在網(wǎng)絡(luò)、雜志上十分盛行。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了簡(jiǎn)短正能量英文笑話，歡迎閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)短正能量英文笑話篇一
再活40年
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
一名中年婦女心臟病突發(fā)被送到了醫(yī)院，
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
在手術(shù)臺(tái)上，瀕臨死亡之際，
Seeing God, she asked if this was it.
她看到了上帝， 于是，她問(wèn)上帝是不是她的日子到頭了。
God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live."
上帝回答說(shuō)，“還沒(méi)有，你還能活43年，2個(gè)月零8天。”
Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction,breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her haircolor, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it.
身體快要康復(fù)的時(shí)候，這名女士想到自己還要活那么多年，得好好對(duì)待自己，于是決定先不出院，而是去給自己整整容，吸吸脂，隆隆胸，然后還做了一個(gè)腹部拉皮和其它一些美容美體手術(shù)。她甚至還請(qǐng)人到醫(yī)院里面幫她頭發(fā)給染了。
She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed byan ambulance speeding to the hospital.
做完最后一個(gè)手術(shù)，這位女士出院了， 但就在過(guò)馬路的時(shí)候，她被一輛風(fēng)馳電摯趕回醫(yī)院的救護(hù)車給撞死了。
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years?
再一次，她又站到了上帝的面前，她大惑不解地問(wèn)上帝，“我記得你說(shuō)我還能再活40年?”
"God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
上帝回答，“那個(gè)時(shí)候我沒(méi)認(rèn)出你來(lái)”。
簡(jiǎn)短正能量英文笑話篇二
會(huì)彈鋼琴的狗
A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!"
一個(gè)人帶著他的狗走進(jìn)一家酒吧。
The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog... this dog can play the piano!"
酒吧服務(wù)生對(duì)他說(shuō)，“這里不能帶狗進(jìn)來(lái)，請(qǐng)離開吧!”
The bartender replies, "Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay... and have a drink onthe house!"
那個(gè)人對(duì)服務(wù)生說(shuō)，“這可不是一般的狗，它可是會(huì)彈鋼琴的!”
So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing.
服務(wù)生回答說(shuō)，“呃， 如果它真的能彈鋼琴，你們可以免費(fèi)在這喝上一杯!”
Ragtime, Mozart... and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music.
那個(gè)人把狗放到了彈鋼琴坐的凳子上面，狗就開始了演奏，先是拉格泰姆音樂(lè)、接著彈莫扎特還有其它的… …服務(wù)生和顧客們都非常欣賞它的彈奏。
Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags himout.
突然，一只體型更大的狗跑了進(jìn)來(lái) ，一把抓住小狗的脖子就把它拽出去了。
The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?"
酒吧服務(wù)生問(wèn)那個(gè)人，“那是怎么回事?”
The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a doctor."
那人回答 ，“噢，那是它媽媽。 她不想它兒子玩音樂(lè)，而是做一名醫(yī)生。”
簡(jiǎn)短正能量英文笑話篇三
五百遍
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city,
在中西部一個(gè)大城市的交通法庭里，
a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light.
一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由于開車闖紅燈被開了罰單。
She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes.
女士向法官解釋，她是一名學(xué)校老師，請(qǐng)求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。
A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he.
法官眼中閃過(guò)一絲狡黠，說(shuō)道：“你是學(xué)校的老師，對(duì)嗎?
"Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
女士，我馬上要實(shí)現(xiàn)我畢生的愿望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫‘我開車闖了紅燈'500遍。”
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