英語(yǔ)小笑話演講稿閱讀
英語(yǔ)小笑話演講稿閱讀
冷笑話作為一種新興的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象，越來(lái)越受到大家的關(guān)注，尤其在網(wǎng)絡(luò)、雜志、微博、電影上十分盛行。小編精心收集了英語(yǔ)小笑話演講稿，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
英語(yǔ)小笑話演講稿篇1
A Russian fellow has saved and saved and finally can purchase an automobile. He goes to the state store to order his car and is informed that it will be delivered in ten years. The man then asks:
一個(gè)俄國(guó)人不停地?cái)€錢(qián)，最后他終于可以買(mǎi)車(chē)了，他來(lái)到了國(guó)營(yíng)百貨店訂汽車(chē)，卻被告之:汽車(chē)io年后才會(huì)送到，于是這個(gè)男的問(wèn):
"Will it be here in the morning or the aftermoon?"
“會(huì)在上午還是下午送到?”
"Why are you concerned? It’s quite some time from now.”
“你有什么可以擔(dān)心的呢?從現(xiàn)在起還很長(zhǎng)的一段時(shí)間呢。”
"Because the plumber is coming in the morning.
“因?yàn)楣茏庸?huì)在早晨到。”
英語(yǔ)小笑話演講稿篇2
郵箱
A blonde went outside to check her mailbox, and her neighbor kept an eye on her, she had no mail, so she went back inside her house. Two minutes later, the same blonde went outside for the 2nd time to check her mailbox, and still，she had no mail，and the neighbor was confused. One minute later, again the woman comes outside to check her mailbox for the 3rd time, and again，she had no mail. This time, her neighbor went up to her and said, "The mailman won’t be here for another 3 more hours, why do you keep on checking your mail" The blonde said, "Oh, because my computer keeps on saying, `You've got mail.”’
一個(gè)金發(fā)女郎走出門(mén)來(lái)檢查她的郵箱，她的鄰居看見(jiàn)了她。她沒(méi)有發(fā)現(xiàn)郵件，所以她就回到了家里。過(guò)了兩分鐘，這個(gè)金發(fā)女郎又出來(lái)第二次檢查她的郵箱，她仍然沒(méi)有發(fā)現(xiàn)郵件，她的鄰居看見(jiàn)了有些迷惑。一分鐘以后，這個(gè)女人又出來(lái)第三次檢查郵箱，她還是一無(wú)所獲。這回她的鄰居走向前去問(wèn)她:“郵遞員三個(gè)小時(shí)內(nèi)是不會(huì)來(lái)的。你為什么不斷的檢查你的郵箱呀?”那個(gè)金發(fā)女郎說(shuō):“噢，因?yàn)槲业碾娔X總是告訴我‘你有新郵件’。”
英語(yǔ)小笑話演講稿篇3
John woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache,cotton一mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise,” he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"
約翰在一年一度的圣誕節(jié)晚會(huì)后醒來(lái)，他覺(jué)得頭非常疼，嘴酸得說(shuō)不出話來(lái)。他也想不起來(lái)前一個(gè)晚上發(fā)生了什么事情。去過(guò)了一趟廁所，他來(lái)到樓下，妻子給他倒了一杯咖啡。“路易斯，”他呻吟道，“告訴我昨天晚上發(fā)生了什么事?比我想象得還要糟糕嗎?”
"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.”
“比你想得還要糟，”她的聲音充滿了輕蔑說(shuō)，“你真是丑態(tài)百出。你和所有的公司董事作對(duì)。你還當(dāng)著公司的董事長(zhǎng)的面侮辱了他。”
"He's an idiot,” John said. "Piss on him.”
“他是個(gè)白癡，”約翰說(shuō)，“就該沖他小便。”
"You did,” came the reply, "And he fired you.”
“你正是這么做的，”他的妻子回答，“他解雇了你。”
"Well, screw him!” said John.
“哼，修理他!”約翰說(shuō)。
"I did. You’re back at work on Monday.”
“我正是這么做的。所以你星期一就又可以回去上班了。”
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