有關(guān)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事閱讀
有關(guān)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事閱讀
前蘇聯(lián)著名作家高爾基說(shuō)過(guò),“哪里有人,哪里就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話(huà)是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。小編精心收集了有關(guān)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
有關(guān)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事：Horrible Deaths
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"
某日，三個(gè)男人排隊(duì)等著進(jìn)天堂。而顯然那一天天堂很忙，所以圣彼得走出來(lái)對(duì)第一個(gè)人說(shuō)：“今天天堂快滿(mǎn)員了，我只能讓一個(gè)死的最可憐的人進(jìn)去，來(lái)說(shuō)說(shuō)你是怎么死的吧。”
The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."
第一個(gè)男人回答說(shuō)：“這段時(shí)間以來(lái)我一直都懷疑我的老婆有了外遇，所以今天我就提早回家想要抓她個(gè)正著。我回到我位于25樓的公寓，我敢肯定有什么地方不對(duì)，但任憑我把房子翻了個(gè)底兒朝天也找不到那個(gè)男人。終于，當(dāng)我搜到陽(yáng)臺(tái)的時(shí)候發(fā)現(xiàn)那個(gè)奸夫正吊在陽(yáng)臺(tái)的欄桿上!我氣壞了，開(kāi)始對(duì)他拳打腳踢，可你能相信嗎?他居然就是掉不下去!于是我又返回屋里，拿了只錘子出來(lái)敲他的手。他終于掉下去了，但他居然只是掉進(jìn)灌木叢，還是沒(méi)死!我再也忍受不了了，進(jìn)屋把冰箱抬了出來(lái)、整個(gè)兒給他砸下去……他終于死了。而我呢，這時(shí)也因?yàn)樘^(guò)憤怒，心臟病發(fā)，也死在了陽(yáng)臺(tái)上。”
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
“那聽(tīng)起來(lái)是夠慘的。”圣彼得說(shuō)，于是讓他進(jìn)去了。
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
輪到第二個(gè)男人，圣彼得解釋了相同的事，要他說(shuō)說(shuō)自己的死亡原因。
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
“今天真是奇怪極了。看，我住26樓，每天早晨都在我的陽(yáng)臺(tái)上鍛煉。今天一早，也不知怎么的，我踩滑了、掉下了樓。幸運(yùn)的是，我及時(shí)抓住了25樓陽(yáng)臺(tái)上的欄桿。我知道即便如此我也撐不了多久，而恰好一個(gè)男人走到了陽(yáng)臺(tái)上來(lái)。我開(kāi)心極了，想自己一定得救了。哪知道，他一過(guò)來(lái)就對(duì)我拳打腳踢、接著還進(jìn)屋拿了一只錘子砸我的手指。我終于掉下去了。但我掉進(jìn)了灌木叢，也只是暈了一下而已。我正想著我應(yīng)該沒(méi)事的，就看著從天而降一個(gè)冰箱，跟著我就到了這兒……”
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
圣彼得不得不承認(rèn)這家伙死的很慘，讓他進(jìn)了天堂。
The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
最后，終于輪到第三個(gè)男人了。圣彼得對(duì)他提出了相同的問(wèn)題。
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
這個(gè)男人說(shuō)：“看吧，我裸著身子、藏在冰箱里……”
有關(guān)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事：誰(shuí)是上帝?
A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"
一個(gè)小孩問(wèn)他的父親：“爸爸，上帝是男人還是女人?”
"Both son. God is both."
“他二者皆是，孩子，上帝二者皆是。”
After a while the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"
過(guò)了一會(huì)，孩子又問(wèn)：“爸爸，上帝是黑人還是白人?”
"Both son, both."
“二者皆是，孩子，皆是。”
The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"
孩子過(guò)了一會(huì)倒回來(lái)說(shuō)：“爸爸，上帝是邁克杰克遜嗎?”
有關(guān)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事：咒語(yǔ)
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
一個(gè)男人找到一個(gè)巫婆，要求她解開(kāi)一條困擾了自己40年的咒語(yǔ)。
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
巫婆說(shuō)："或許我可以做的到，但你必須一字不落地告訴我下咒的時(shí)候說(shuō)的那句咒語(yǔ)。"
The old man says without hesitation - "I now pronounce you man and wife."
男人毫不猶豫的答道：“‘我現(xiàn)在宣布你們成為夫婦。’”
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