爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話故事精選
笑話就是逗人開(kāi)心的，人傷心的時(shí)候，說(shuō)一個(gè)笑話，就會(huì)馬上開(kāi)心了!本文是爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話故事，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話故事：汪汪叫的妻子
A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor. “When I was first married，I was very happy. I'd come home from a hard day down at the shop，and my little dog would race around barking，and my wife would bring me my slippers.Now everything's changed.When I come home，my dog brings me my slippers，and my wife barks at me.” “I don't know what you're complaining about，”said the counselor.“You're still getting the same service.”
一個(gè)結(jié)婚十年的男人正在請(qǐng)教一位婚姻顧問(wèn)。“剛結(jié)婚那會(huì)兒，我非常幸福。我在店里勞累一天回到家，我的小狗會(huì)繞著我跑，汪汪叫，而我的妻子給我拿來(lái)拖鞋。現(xiàn)在一切都變了。我回到家里，我的狗給我拿來(lái)拖鞋，我的妻子對(duì)著我汪汪叫。” “我不知道你在抱怨什么，”婚姻顧問(wèn)說(shuō)。“你得到的服務(wù)還是一樣的呀。”
爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話故事：A Speeding Motorist
A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. "Don't you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?" he demanded.
"Yes, sir," replied the driver.
"Then why didn't you pull over immediately?"
"I would have, officer, " the man said. "But last month my wife ran off with a policeman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back.
一位公路巡警截住了一個(gè)超速司機(jī)。“難道你不知道閃爍燈和警笛的意思嗎?”他責(zé)問(wèn)道。
“知道，長(zhǎng)官，”司機(jī)回答說(shuō)。
“那你為什么不立即靠邊停車(chē)?”
“我本來(lái)想這樣做的，長(zhǎng)官。”那男子回答說(shuō)，“但上個(gè)月我妻子和一位警察私奔了，我是害怕你把她帶回來(lái)。”
爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話故事：新生兒
Mr.and Mrs.Taylor had a seven year old boy named Pat.Now Mrs.Taylor was expecting another child. Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much，so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too. One evening Mr.and Mrs.Taylor were making plans for the baby's arrival.“This house won't be big enough for us all when the baby comes，”said Mr.Taylor. Pat came into the room just then and said，“What are you talking about?”“We were saying that we'll have to move to an other house now，because the new baby's coming，”his mother answered. “ It's no use，”said Pat hopelessly.“ He'll follow us there.”
泰勒夫婦有一個(gè)七歲的男孩，名叫帕特?，F(xiàn)在泰勒太太正懷著第二胎。 帕特在別人家看見(jiàn)過(guò)嬰兒，他不太喜歡他們，所以他對(duì)自己家里也將有一個(gè)嬰兒的消息感到不滿。 一天晚上，泰勒夫婦正在為這個(gè)嬰兒的降生計(jì)劃做安排。泰勒先生說(shuō)：“有了嬰兒，我們的房子就太小，不夠住了。” 帕特恰好在這個(gè)時(shí)候走進(jìn)屋，他問(wèn)：“你們?cè)谡f(shuō)什么?”他的母親回答說(shuō)：“我們?cè)谡f(shuō)我們現(xiàn)在得搬家，因?yàn)閶雰壕鸵Q生了。” “那沒(méi)用，”帕特絕望地說(shuō)。“他會(huì)跟我們到那兒去的。”
爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話故事：接著走吧
Seth Smith was reckoned the laziest man in town. Sotired had the authorities become of contributing to his supportthat they decided to consign him to a living tomb. Accordinglyhe was prepared for burial. The hearse was an old ramshacklecountry wagon. As the strange cortege moved along some old residentasked，“Who is it?” “Why，Seth Smith， who is too lazy to get anything to liveon， so we are going to bury him alive.” “I'll give him a bushel of corn，” said one.“And I will，”said another. Slowly raising his head， Seth asked：“Is the corn shelled，neighbor?” “No，you must do that yourself.” Gently replacing his head， he said：“ Drive on， boys，drive on.”
塞思·史密斯被公認(rèn)為鎮(zhèn)上頭號(hào)懶人。長(zhǎng)官們實(shí)在懶得再供養(yǎng)他，便決定把他送進(jìn)一個(gè)天然墳?zāi)估锶?。于是他被?zhǔn)備著去埋葬，靈車(chē)是一輛搖搖晃晃的鄉(xiāng)下舊馬車(chē)。正當(dāng)這列奇怪的送葬隊(duì)伍在行進(jìn)時(shí)，一些老街坊問(wèn)道：“這是誰(shuí)啊?”“唉，塞思·史密斯，他懶得沒(méi)法活了，我們這就去把他活埋。”“我來(lái)給他一蒲式耳谷子吧，”一個(gè)人說(shuō)。“我也給，”另一個(gè)說(shuō)。 塞思慢慢抬起頭來(lái)問(wèn)道：“谷子脫粒了嗎，街坊?” “沒(méi)有，你得自己來(lái)。”他緩緩把頭放回原處說(shuō)：“接著走吧，孩子們，接著走吧。”
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