幽默英語(yǔ)冷笑話故事精選
幽默英語(yǔ)冷笑話故事精選
笑話是指以一句短語(yǔ)或一個(gè)小故事讓說(shuō)話者和聽(tīng)者之間覺(jué)得好笑，或是產(chǎn)生幽默感，另外一個(gè)行動(dòng)(動(dòng)作)型的笑話是以動(dòng)作影響人的視覺(jué)及觀感，而感到好笑。本文是幽默英語(yǔ)冷笑話故事，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
幽默英語(yǔ)冷笑話故事：Fried chicken
In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"
Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."
老師在課堂上向?qū)W生們展示了各種各樣的鳥(niǎo)的照片。然后他問(wèn)其中一名學(xué)生，“杰克，你最喜歡哪種鳥(niǎo)兒啊?”
杰克想了想，回答，“炸雞，老師。”
幽默英語(yǔ)冷笑話故事：I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問(wèn)，“發(fā)生了什么事?”
“一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說(shuō)。
“再見(jiàn)到他你能認(rèn)出來(lái)嗎?”媽媽問(wèn)。
“他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說(shuō)。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。”
幽默英語(yǔ)冷笑話故事：How to be like a gentleman
Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman."
"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?"
"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.
"Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".
迪克年齡七歲，他的妹妹凱瑟琳五歲。一天，媽媽把他們帶到姨媽家去玩，自己就到大城市去買些新的衣服。
孩子們玩了個(gè)把小時(shí)，在四點(diǎn)半的時(shí)候，姨媽領(lǐng)著迪克走進(jìn)了廚房。她交給迪克一塊精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并對(duì)他說(shuō)：“喏，迪克，給你刀子，把這塊蛋糕一切為二，給你妹妹一塊。不過(guò)，你得記住要做得像一個(gè)紳士那樣。”
迪克問(wèn)：“像一個(gè)紳士?紳士怎樣做呢?”
他姨媽馬上回答說(shuō)：“紳士總是把大的一塊讓給別人的。”
迪克說(shuō)了一聲“噢”。他對(duì)此想了一會(huì)，然后，他把蛋糕拿給妹妹，并對(duì)她說(shuō)：“凱瑟琳，你來(lái)把這塊蛋糕一切為二吧。”
幽默英語(yǔ)冷笑話故事：Do You Know Santa's True Profession?
Consider the following:
1. You never actually see Santa, only his "assistants."
2. Santa keeps his job until he decides to retire.
3. Santa doesn't really do the work; he directs a bunch of helpers to do all his work for him, but he's the one who everybody credits with the work.
4. Santa doesn't work a 40-hour week.
5. Santa travels a lot.
Santa is obviously a senior faculty member with tenure!
圣誕老人的真實(shí)職業(yè)是什么?
考慮以下幾點(diǎn)
1. 你其實(shí)從來(lái)沒(méi)見(jiàn)過(guò)圣誕老人，你看見(jiàn)的都是他得助手(他得助手真的好多，除了過(guò)圣誕節(jié)的所有父母外，還有職業(yè)“圣誕老人”)
2. 圣誕老人不想退休，就可以一直當(dāng)他的圣誕老人。
3. 圣誕老人不會(huì)做實(shí)事，他都是指揮一堆幫手幫他做完所有的事情，但是事情做得好還是不好，功績(jī)和責(zé)任都算圣誕老人的。
4. 圣誕老人實(shí)行的可不是朝九晚五雙休制。
5. 圣誕老人經(jīng)常旅行
圣誕老人顯然是一個(gè)高級(jí)職員(please, 這世界上還有比他的工作更好的工作嗎?)
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