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學(xué)習(xí)啦 > 學(xué)習(xí)英語 > 英語閱讀 > 英語笑話 > 關(guān)于長一點(diǎn)的英語笑話精選

關(guān)于長一點(diǎn)的英語笑話精選

時間: 韋彥867 分享

關(guān)于長一點(diǎn)的英語笑話精選

  現(xiàn)代醫(yī)學(xué)也認(rèn)為:笑,對人們的健康長壽有著十份密切的關(guān)系。大家除了多運(yùn)動維持身體健康外,也可以嘗試一下看看英語笑話。小編精心收集了關(guān)于長一點(diǎn)的英語笑話,供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!

  關(guān)于長一點(diǎn)的英語笑話:NASA Mars Mission

  NASA was interviewing professionals they were planning on sending to Mars. Thetouchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one way trip, the guy would never return to Earth.

  The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going.

  "One million dollars," the engineer answered. "And I want to donate it all to my alma mater -- Rice University."

  The next applicant was a doctor, and the interviewer asked him the same question.

  "Two millions dollars," the doctor said. "I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

  The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."

  "Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.

  The lawyer replied, "You give me three million, I'll give you one million, I'll keep a million, and we'll send the engineer."

  關(guān)于長一點(diǎn)的英語笑話:Dunlop Rubbers

  A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.

  When the case came before the court, the young man was as asked why he acted in such a manner.

  His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read "Coming Soon The Gold Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read "Sloans Liniments remove Swelling". I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read "William Stick Did The Trick". Then I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident."

  He won the case.

  關(guān)于長一點(diǎn)的英語笑話:New Secretary

  The real estate boss got a hot new secretary.

  Afraid of sexual harrassment issues he held himself off for a week, but

  finally overcome with lust, he decided to put some moves on her.

  But within a few weeks, he is feeling displeased at the way she is working, not caring, coming to work late, and so on.

  So, he pulls her aside, and has a little talk with her.

  "Listen, baby, we may have gone to bed together a few times, but who said you could start coming in late and slacking off?"

  Looking him in the eyes, she replied, "My lawyer!"

  關(guān)于長一點(diǎn)的英語笑話:Cross Examined

  In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist.

  Here's what happened:

  Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?

  Coroner: No.

  Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?

  Coroner: No.

  Attorney: Did you check for breathing?

  Coroner: No.

  Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?

  Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.

  
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