關(guān)于長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話精選
關(guān)于長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話精選
2008年6月7日，笑話經(jīng)國(guó)務(wù)院批準(zhǔn)列入第二批國(guó)家級(jí)非物質(zhì)文化遺產(chǎn)名錄。本文是關(guān)于長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
關(guān)于長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話：Jury Duty
A man was chosen for jury duty who really wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial, hedecided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin, he asked if he could approach the bench.
"Your Honor", he said, "I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against thedefendant. I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I thought, 'He's a crook! He's guilty!' So, your Honor, I cannot possibly stay on this jury!"
The tired and annoyed judge replied, "Get back in the jury box, you fool.
That man is the lawyer!"
關(guān)于長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話：Bastard in Family
For 3 years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!
"Helen, why didn't you write when you learnt you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"
"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."
關(guān)于長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話：2 Plus 2
An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?"
The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four."
The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced "Four."
The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked "How much do you want it to be?"
關(guān)于長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話：St. Peter
Following a distinguished legal career, a man arrived at the Gates of Heaven, accompanied by the Pope, who had the misfortune to expire on the same day. The Pope was greeted first by St. Peter, who escorted him to his quarters.
The room was somewhat shabby and small, similar to that found in a low grade Motel 6 type establishment.
The lawyer was then taken to his room, which was a palatial suite including a private swimming pool, a garden, and a terrace overlooking the Gates. The attorney was somewhat taken aback, and told St. Peter, "I'm really quite surprised at these rooms, seeing as how the Pope was given such small accommodations."
St. Peter replied, "We have over a hundred Popes here, and we're really very bored with them. We've never had a lawyer."
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