爆笑英文笑話帶翻譯精選
爆笑英文笑話帶翻譯精選
如果你的幽默純粹是為了好玩、好笑,你純粹是不想要太嚴(yán)肅地面對(duì)生命而開開玩笑、講講笑話的話,那是不會(huì)有任何問(wèn)題的。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了爆笑英文笑話帶翻譯,歡迎閱讀!
爆笑英文笑話帶翻譯:打獵秘籍
Two Russian hunters meet. "I shot a gigantic bear yesterday," says Ivan. "Look at the hide!"
"How do you find such huge bears?" Sergei asks.
"Easy," says Ivan. "You stand in front of a cave and whistle. When the bear comes out, you shoot."
Weeks later the two meet again. Sergei is covered in bandages. "Didn't you follow my advice?" Ivan asks.
"Sure I did. I stood, in front of a cave and whistled, " Sergei replies.
"And what came out?"
"To me, "says Sergei, "it looked like the Trans-Siberian Express."
兩個(gè)俄國(guó)獵人相遇。“我昨天打了一只巨熊,”伊凡說(shuō),“看看這獸皮!”
“你是如何發(fā)現(xiàn)這么大的熊的?”謝爾蓋問(wèn)道。
“很簡(jiǎn)單,”伊凡說(shuō),“你站在一個(gè)洞前并吹哨子。熊出來(lái)時(shí)你就開槍。”
幾周后,兩人見(jiàn)面了。謝爾蓋渾身纏滿了繃帶。“難道你沒(méi)有聽(tīng)我的建議?”伊凡問(wèn)。
“我當(dāng)然是按你的建議做的。我站在一個(gè)洞前并吹哨子,”謝爾蓋回答說(shuō)。
“出來(lái)了什么?”
“向著我來(lái)的,”謝爾蓋說(shuō),“像是穿越西伯利亞的快車。”
爆笑英文笑話帶翻譯:一封特別的感謝信
Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were fivelottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much foryour help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "
有一次,我收到一封感謝信,是一個(gè)我曾幫助過(guò)的朋友寄來(lái)的。信封內(nèi)有五張彩票,都被刮過(guò)了,露出了數(shù)字。“非常感謝您的幫助,”信上寫道,“作為禮物,我給您買了些彩票——真遺憾,您沒(méi)中獎(jiǎng)。”
爆笑英文笑話帶翻譯:委婉的報(bào)喪方式
Two brothers, Herbert and James, lived with their mother and a cat named Edgar. James wasparticularly attached to the cat, and when he had to leave town for several days, he left Herbertmeticulous instructions about the pet' s care. At the end of this first day away. Jamestelephoned his brother. "How is Edgar?"
"Edgar is dead." Herbert answered. There was a pause. Then James said, "Herbert, you'reinsensitive, you know how close I was to Edgar —you should have broken the news to meslowly. When I asked about Edgar tonight, you should have said, 'Edgar's on the roof , but Ihave called the fire department to get him down.' And tomorrow when I called, you could havesaid the firemen were having trouble getting Edgar down, but you were hopeful they wouldsucceed. Then when I called the third time, you could have told me that the fire-men have donetheir best, but unfortunately Edgar had fallen off the roof and was at the veterinarian's. Thenwhen I called the last time, you could have said that although everything possible had beendone for Edgar, he had died. That's the way a sensitive man would have told me about Edgar.And, oh, before I forget," James added, "how is mother?"
"Oh," Herbert said, pausing for a moment, "She' s on the roof."
郝伯特和詹姆斯兄弟二人一起生活,家中有一老母并養(yǎng)了一只貓叫埃德格。詹姆斯特別喜歡這只貓。有一次他要外出幾天,臨行前不厭其煩地囑咐郝伯特照顧好這只寵物。出門后的頭一天晚上,他打來(lái)電話詢問(wèn):“埃德格好嗎?”
“它死了,”郝伯格回答。一陣沉默之后,詹姆斯說(shuō):“郝伯特,你真沒(méi)心沒(méi)肺,你知道我多么喜歡埃德格——你應(yīng)該把這個(gè)消息慢慢地告訴我。當(dāng)我問(wèn)起埃德格今晚怎樣時(shí),你應(yīng)該說(shuō),‘埃德格爬上了屋頂,我已給消防隊(duì)打了電話,讓他們把它救下來(lái)。’我明天又給你打電話時(shí),你應(yīng)該說(shuō)消防隊(duì)營(yíng)救埃德格遇到了困難,但你相信他們會(huì)成功。在我第三天給你打電話時(shí),你可以說(shuō)消防隊(duì)員已盡了最大努力,但很不幸,埃德格從屋頂上掉了下來(lái),被送到獸醫(yī)那里。在我最后一次給你打電話詢問(wèn),你可以說(shuō)盡管對(duì)埃德格做了一切所能做的努力,它還是死了。這是一個(gè)富有感情的人告訴我埃德格的消息時(shí)所用的方式。哦,趁我沒(méi)忘記還有件事順便問(wèn)一下,”詹姆斯補(bǔ)充道,“母親好嗎?”
“哦……”一陣沉默后郝伯特答道,“她上了屋頂。”
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