簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯
同一個(gè)冷笑話，你也笑不了幾次;為什么同一件事，你總是為它痛苦不止呢?學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯，歡迎閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯：You're Not Going to Make it
Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.
"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.
On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it."
你活不成了
一個(gè)人得了重病，妻子伴隨他去看醫(yī)生。檢查過(guò)后，醫(yī)生示意病人的妻子到走廊見(jiàn)他。
“你丈夫病得很重，”醫(yī)生說(shuō)，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要營(yíng)養(yǎng)美味。第二，給他一個(gè)輕松的環(huán)境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都對(duì)他傾注熾熱的愛(ài)。”
在驅(qū)車(chē)回家的路上，丈夫問(wèn)道：“醫(yī)生說(shuō)了什么?”
“很遺憾，”妻子說(shuō)，“你活不成了。”
簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯：What Will Be the Headline
When a man in Macon, Ga. , came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbedthe animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident, congratulated theman and told him the headline the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by KillingVicious Animal. "
The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon.
"Well, then," the reporter said, the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by KillingDog. '"
"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."
"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline will read ,'Yankee Kills Family Pet.'"
標(biāo)題是什么
一位男子在喬治亞州的麥根城遇到一條狗在襲擊一個(gè)男孩。他敏捷地用兩手卡住了狗的脖子并掐死了它。一位記者目睹了這件事，向這位男子表示祝賀并說(shuō)次日的新聞標(biāo)題將是：“本地男子殺惡畜救孩童”。
然而，這位英雄卻告訴記者他不是麥根人。
“那么，”記者說(shuō)，“標(biāo)題可能為‘喬治亞男子殺狗救孩童’”.
“實(shí)際上，”那男子道，“我是康涅狄格人。”
“這樣的話，”記者怒氣沖沖地說(shuō)，“標(biāo)題將是‘北方佬殺死家庭愛(ài)犬’”
簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯：I'm a police officer
When my husband, Jack, was a police officer, he once approached a home guarded by twoferocious dogs. They lunged at the screen door with such force that it opened, and they toreout into the yard.
Thinking quickly, Jack, stepped into the house, closing the door tightly behind him. " It's allright, ma'am," he reassured the homeowner " I'm a police officer."
"Not a very brave one," 'she observed.
我是警察
在我丈夫杰克還是警察的時(shí)候，一次他走近有兩只惡狗看守的庭院。那兩只狗奮力地?fù)渥ゼ嗛T(mén)，把門(mén)弄開(kāi)了并沖到院子里。
杰克反應(yīng)迅速，三步并兩步地跨入房子里，牢牢地關(guān)上身后的門(mén)。“沒(méi)事了，女士，”他安慰家主道，“我是警察。”
“可不是很勇敢的一個(gè)。”她淡淡地說(shuō)。
簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯：A Tough Teacher
A school teacher friend of mine injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around theupper part of his body. On his first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he wasassigned to teach the most undisciplined class. Stepping confidently into the rowdyclassroom, he opened the window as wide as possible. Just then, a strong breeze made his tieflap. Trying to fix the tie , he took a blackboard eraser and hammered a large tack through histie into his chest.
He had no trouble with discipline that term.
強(qiáng)悍的教師
我有一位作教師的朋友弄傷了他的背，因此上身不得不穿石膏罩。開(kāi)學(xué)的第一天，他的身上還穿著石膏罩。他被分派教最不守紀(jì)律的班級(jí)。他很自信地步入亂哄哄的教室，把窗子盡可能大地打開(kāi)。就在這時(shí)，一陣強(qiáng)風(fēng)把他的領(lǐng)帶吹得飄起來(lái)。為了固定領(lǐng)帶，他拿起黑板擦，把一個(gè)大頭釘透過(guò)領(lǐng)帶砸入他的胸膛。
那學(xué)期在他的課上，沒(méi)有不守紀(jì)律的。
簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯：A Plumber
My daughter Judy, who works for a plumbing company, found herself in need of a plumber at home. When she got to work, she asked that a plumber be sent. For several days her request was ignored.
In desperation, as she departed one afternoon she left her boss this note - "I will come to work in the morning as soon as a plumber gets to my house. " One arrived shortly before 7 a. m.
管道修理工
我女兒朱迪在一家管道公司工作。一日，她發(fā)現(xiàn)自己家里需要一個(gè)管道修理工。于是，去上班時(shí)，她要求派一個(gè)管修工到她家里。但一連幾天，她的要求都沒(méi)有得到回應(yīng)。
出于無(wú)奈，一天下午下班時(shí)，她給老板留下這樣一張字條：“明早管修工一到我家，我即刻來(lái)上班。”第二天早晨還不到七點(diǎn)鐘就來(lái)了一位管修工。
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