簡(jiǎn)單點(diǎn)的英文小笑話閱讀
簡(jiǎn)單點(diǎn)的英文小笑話閱讀
笑話一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一種民間口頭創(chuàng)作形式,在民間文化中以口口相傳的形式傳播。小編精心收集了簡(jiǎn)單點(diǎn)的英文小笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
簡(jiǎn)單點(diǎn)的英文小笑話：Who wants that jerk back? 誰(shuí)愿意讓那個(gè)混蛋回來(lái)
Marcella Vespa called her friend Winona about the disappearance of her husband, who had been missing for several days.
When asked by the police for a description of her husband, she replied, "He's over six feet tall, with beautiful, wavy blond hair. He's got a fetching(迷人的) smile that shows a perfect set of teeth. He wears Brooks Brothers clothes and is muscular, weighting about two hundred pounds."
Winona waited until Marcella had finished her phone call, then asked what it was all about. "Your husband is over five feet and his hair is gray and almost gone. He grins like a polar bear and he's bought every darned tooth in his head. Marcela, that was an untrue description of your husband."
"Sure it was," Marcella replied, "But who wants that jerk back?"
瑪賽拉·維斯帕打電話告訴他朋友溫納她丈夫失蹤的事情，他已經(jīng)失蹤好幾天了。
當(dāng)被警察問(wèn)道對(duì)她丈夫的描述時(shí)，她回答：“他有六英尺多高，漂亮的金色卷發(fā)。他的笑容很動(dòng)人，牙很齊。他穿著布魯克斯兄弟牌的衣服，很健壯，大約兩百磅重。”
溫納一直等到馬賽拉把電話打完，然后問(wèn)他為什么這么說(shuō)。“你丈夫有五英尺多高，灰色的頭發(fā)而都快掉光了。他笑起來(lái)就像北極熊一樣，而且每顆牙都補(bǔ)過(guò)。馬賽拉，這個(gè)對(duì)你丈夫的描述不真實(shí)啊。”
“當(dāng)然，”馬賽拉回答道，“但是誰(shuí)愿意讓那個(gè)混蛋回來(lái)呢?”
簡(jiǎn)單點(diǎn)的英文小笑話：What are you going to do this evening?
Mrs. Jones was still cleaning the house when her husband came back from work. She was wearing dirty old clothes and no stockings, her hair was not tidy, she had dust on her face, and she looked dirty and tired. Her husband looked at her and said, "Is this what I come home to see after a hard day's work?"
Mrs. Jones's neighbor, Mrs. Black, was there. When she heard Mr. Jones' words, she quickly said good-bye and ran back to her house. Then she washed, brushed and combed her hair carefully, put on her pettiest stockings, painted her face, and waited for her husband to come home.
When he arrived, he was hot and tired. He walked slowly into the house, saw his wife and stopped. Then he shouted angrily, "and what are you going to do this evening?"
瓊斯太太正在家里打掃房間，這時(shí)，她的丈夫下班回來(lái)了。瓊斯太太穿著又臟又舊的衣服，光著腳，頭發(fā)亂糟糟的，臉上還滿是灰塵，她看起來(lái)臟兮兮的，一臉倦容。她丈夫看到這一切，說(shuō)：“這就是我辛辛苦苦一天回家要看到的嗎?“
瓊斯太太的鄰居——布萊克太太當(dāng)時(shí)也在場(chǎng)，她聽(tīng)到瓊斯先生的話，立刻告辭，跑回家去。她洗臉漱口梳頭，穿上她最好的衣服和最漂亮的襪子，化好妝，等著她的丈夫回家。
布萊克先生回來(lái)時(shí)，又熱又累，他拖著腳步慢慢地走進(jìn)屋子，看到妻子，他停住了腳步，生氣地大聲吼道：“你今天晚上要干什么去?
簡(jiǎn)單點(diǎn)的英文小笑話：It was too late 為時(shí)已晚
Although I had never met him, I knew that my grandfather had been five feet, sixinches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches .
As a teen-ager leafing through(迅速翻閱) old photographs with grandma, Ifinally realized how unusual they must have looked together.
"Grandma," I asked, "how could you have fallen in love with a man five inches shorter than you?"
She turned to me "Honey," she said, "we fell in love sitting down, and when I stood up, it was too late."
盡管我未見(jiàn)過(guò)祖父，不過(guò)我知道他身高只有五英尺六英寸，而我高貴典雅的祖母身高卻有五英尺十一英寸。
我十幾歲的時(shí)候，和祖母一起翻看著老照片，我覺(jué)得他們?cè)谝黄鹂雌饋?lái)很別扭。
“奶奶，”我問(wèn)道，“你怎么會(huì)愛(ài)上一個(gè)比你矮五英寸的人呢?”
她轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)臉來(lái)看著我。“寶貝，”她說(shuō)，“我們是坐著相愛(ài)的。當(dāng)我站起來(lái)的時(shí)候，已經(jīng)太晚了。”
簡(jiǎn)單點(diǎn)的英文小笑話：A Nervous Wife 神經(jīng)緊張的妻子
A man fell ill. His wife called a doctor in for him.
While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing(煩躁，發(fā)牢騷) andjabbering(快而含糊地說(shuō)) all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.
The man's wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."
有個(gè)人生病了。他的妻子請(qǐng)了一位醫(yī)生來(lái)給他治病。
醫(yī)生在給他治療的時(shí)候，他的妻子一直大驚小怪，神神叨叨地緊張不安。醫(yī)生對(duì)她說(shuō)：“你的丈夫必須絕對(duì)休息和保持安靜。” 然后他就留下了一些安眠藥。
她問(wèn)醫(yī)生：“什么時(shí)候給我丈夫吃這些藥呀!”醫(yī)生回答說(shuō)：“不用，這些藥不是給他吃的，是給你吃的，你需要。”
簡(jiǎn)單點(diǎn)的英文小笑話：Birthday presents 生日禮物
A woman had bought birthday presents for her husband.
She was so excited and anxious to tell him. She said, "I've bought two presents for your birthday, dear. I would tell you now because I can't wait until that day. One present is a mat to put in front of my dressing table. Another one is a bronze statuette(小雕像) for the drawing room mantelpiece." And then she added: "Now me?"
Her husband thought for a while and then replied: "I'd better get you a new razor and some ties, so that we may exchange presents with each other."
有個(gè)女人給她的丈夫買(mǎi)了生日禮物。
她很激動(dòng)，并且急于要告訴她的丈夫。她說(shuō)：“親愛(ài)的，我買(mǎi)了兩樣?xùn)|西給你做生日禮物。我現(xiàn)在就要告訴你，因?yàn)槲业炔坏玫侥且惶觳耪f(shuō)。一件禮物是一個(gè)地墊，可以放在我的梳妝臺(tái)前。另一件是一個(gè)青銅的小雕像，可以放在客廳的壁爐架上”她還說(shuō)：“好啦，你準(zhǔn)備給我買(mǎi)什么呢?”
她的丈夫想了一會(huì)就說(shuō)：“我最好是給你買(mǎi)一個(gè)刮胡刀和幾條領(lǐng)帶。這樣我們就可以互相交換禮物了。”
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