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學(xué)習(xí)啦 > 學(xué)習(xí)英語 > 英語閱讀 > 英語笑話 > 關(guān)于很好笑的英語笑話精選

關(guān)于很好笑的英語笑話精選

時(shí)間: 韋彥867 分享

關(guān)于很好笑的英語笑話精選

  笑話是日常生活中常見的一種幽默。與一般日常會(huì)話不同,笑話刻意違反合作原則,由此衍生出會(huì)話含意,并利用會(huì)話含意之間的沖突實(shí)現(xiàn)其預(yù)定功能。小編精心收集了關(guān)于很好笑的英語笑話,供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!

  關(guān)于很好笑的英語笑話:Drinking And Driving

  Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said, "Lookey thar, up ahead, Earl, it's a poll-ice roadblock!! We're gonna getbusted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"

  "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label, and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."

  "What fer?" asked Bubba.

  "Just let me do the talkin', OK?" said Earl.

  Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on his forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff asked, "You boys been drinkin'?"

  "No, sir," said Earl. "We're on the patch."

  關(guān)于很好笑的英語笑話:Southern Virgin

  There once was a young man named Billy Bob. Now, Billy Bob was a normal Southern boy looking for a nice Southern girl to be his wife. One day, at a mud wrestling match, he met beautiful Tammy Jo. They fell in love and got married. To celebrate their marriage they spent their wedding night at a Super 8motel in their home town. Tammy Jo was very excited. She had bought some nice lingerie and Billy Bob thought she was absolutely breathtaking.

  As they were getting hot and heavy, Tammy Jo said, “Be gentle with me, I'm a virgin.” Billy Bob was totally outraged to hear this revelation. He jumped up, dragged Tammy Jo out of the room, drove to her parents' house and left her crying on the doorstep.

  Billy Bob immediately went over to his father's house and told him what had just happened. “She said she was a virgin... A VIRGIN!” To which his father replied, “Well son, as I've always told you, if she ain't good enough for her own family, she sure ain't good enough for ours!”

  關(guān)于很好笑的英語笑話:Redneck In France

  A redneck is walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoringwomen.

  "Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're French. You know these women. What do they want?"

  "Maybe I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman. "What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way."

  "Wow! Thanks!" says the redneck, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies.

  So he goes back to the Frenchman. "I'm sorry to bother you again," he says, "but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still haven't been able to meet a girl."

  "Okay," says the Frenchman, "I tell you what you do. You go to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zees way."

  "Thanks!" says the guy, and runs off to the store. He buys the potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look at him. After half an hour he can't take it anymore and goes back to the Frenchman.

  "Look," he says, "I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach-- and still nothing! What more can I do?"

  "Well," says the Frenchman, "maybe I can help you a leetle beet. Why don't you try moving zee potato to the FRONT of zee sweeming suit?"

  關(guān)于很好笑的英語笑話:Fatal Accidents

  National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had funded a project with the USauto makers for the past five years. The NTSB covertly funded a project whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

  They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2% of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!"

  Only the state of Texas was different, where 89.3% of the final words were, "Hey Y'all, hold my beer and watch this!"

  
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