短小經(jīng)典的英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀
短小經(jīng)典的英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀
近年來(lái),冷笑話作為一種新興的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象在網(wǎng)絡(luò)、雜志上十分盛行。若要推論現(xiàn)行冷笑話的來(lái)源,或已無(wú)從考證。本文是短小經(jīng)典的英語(yǔ)笑話，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
短小經(jīng)典的英語(yǔ)笑話：Bad Drivers
There’s a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!" Herman says, "I know, I’m on Route 280 but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!"
短小經(jīng)典的英語(yǔ)笑話：I am a Busy Man 我是個(gè)忙人
One day a bunch of naughty children wanted to make fun of him and said to him: There are birds' eggs on that tree. Will you get them for us please? We can't climb up.
Loath to disappoint the children, he was ready to climb the tree. But knowing that themischievous(淘氣的) youngsters would make off with his boots if he left them on the ground, he tied them to his waist-band before he started the climb.
We'll take care of your boots for you! the children chorused.
No, thank you! was he reply. I am a busy man. And as soon as I've got the eggs for you, I'll make my way home along the tree-tops.
有一天，一群頑皮的孩子想捉弄他，便對(duì)他說(shuō)：那樹(shù)上有鳥(niǎo)蛋，請(qǐng)你替我們拿下來(lái)好嗎?我們爬不上去。他不想使孩子們失望，便準(zhǔn)備爬上樹(shù)去。但是他知道如果把靴子留在地上，這群頑皮的小鬼一定會(huì)把靴子拿走，于是他先把靴子系在腰帶上，然后開(kāi)始爬樹(shù)。孩子們齊聲說(shuō)：我們會(huì)替你保管好你的靴子的。
他回答道：謝謝你們，不必了。我是個(gè)忙人。替你們?nèi)〉降昂螅揖鸵刂鴺?shù)頂走回家。
短小經(jīng)典的英語(yǔ)笑話：An opponent lost his head
While making a long, dull speech, a politician received a great deal of heckling(詰問(wèn)) from the gallery. Secondly, someone threw a cabbage(卷心菜，腦袋) onto the stage. "Ladies and gentlemen," said the politician , "I see that one of my opponents has lost his head."
短小經(jīng)典的英語(yǔ)笑話：Thirteen
A man is walking by an insane asylum(精神病院) and hears all the residents chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen!" Quite curious about all this, he finds a hole in the fence, looks in and someone pokes(刺，戳) him in the eye. Everyone in the asylum starts chanting "Fourteen! Fourteen!"
短小經(jīng)典的英語(yǔ)笑話：King and Knave 國(guó)王和無(wú)賴
George Ⅲ asked the once wellknown wit, Horne Tooke,whether he could play cards.
Your Majesty, replied Tooke, I am a mere childwhere cards are concerned. I cannot even tell a King from a Knave.
喬治三世問(wèn)一度大名鼎鼎的才子霍恩·圖克，會(huì)不會(huì)玩紙牌。
陛下，圖克回答說(shuō)：在玩紙牌方面，我只不過(guò)是幼兒園的水平。我甚至分不清國(guó)王和無(wú)賴。
短小經(jīng)典的英語(yǔ)笑話：Help! Doctor 急診
"Help! Doctor! Please come quickly! My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!" "Ok , I'll be right there. I'll be there in 10 to 20 minutes." "Good,but....what am I supposed to do in the meantime?" "Just use another pen!" “救命!醫(yī)生!你趕快來(lái)!我那個(gè)十歲的小孩剛剛吞下去一支筆!” “喔!我馬上過(guò)去，大概十分鐘或二十分鐘就會(huì)到了!” “是，不過(guò)在.....在這個(gè)中間我該怎么辦呢?” “用別的筆嘛!”
短小經(jīng)典的英語(yǔ)笑話：Your Grandfather 你爺爺
A well dressed young man demanded as soon as he entered the restaurant:
"Serve me, quick! Give me your best. I don't care the price."
Not like the way he talked, the waiter said to him: "Hey Buddy, it doesn't matter you have a lot of money. You are still son of somebody, and grandson of somebody else."
The young man raged: "Dare you! Tell me, who wants me to be his grandson?"
The waiter replied with ease: "Nobody. Just your grandfather."
一位衣冠楚楚的年青人一進(jìn)飯店就大聲嚷嚷：
“喂，有什么好菜盡管端上來(lái)，錢(qián)多少我不在乎。”
服務(wù)員聽(tīng)了很不是滋味：“哥兒們，錢(qián)多頂個(gè)屁，你不照樣得做別人的兒子，就是有人要你做孫子你也不敢不做!”
年青人勃然大怒：“誰(shuí)敢占老子的便宜?你說(shuō)，是誰(shuí)不要命了，膽敢要老子做他的孫子?”
服務(wù)員慢條斯理地答道：“你爺爺!”
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