爆笑的好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯
笑話是民族文化及社會(huì)生活中不可缺少的一環(huán),從古至今都擁有廣大的受眾,深受人們喜愛(ài)。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享爆笑的好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯，希望可以幫助大家!
爆笑的好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯：Unbearable 受不了了
A traveler came to a small Middle Western town. He decided to stay for a few days.
When he was about to write his name on the hotel register, he saw a bedbug crawling across the page.
"It is really unbearable," he said, flinging down the pen. "I've been bitten by fleas in Missouri, mosquitos in Jersey, horse flies in Kansas-but this is the first place I was ever in where abug looked over the hotel register to find out the number of my room. Why, where on earth I should go!"
有個(gè)旅行家來(lái)到中西部的一個(gè)小市鎮(zhèn)。他決定留下待幾天。
當(dāng)他正要在旅店的登記薄上簽名時(shí)，看到有個(gè)臭蟲從單子上爬過(guò)去。
他就扔下手中的筆說(shuō)：“真受不了了，我在密蘇里被跳蚤咬過(guò)，在西澤被蚊子咬過(guò)，在堪薩斯被馬蠅咬過(guò)—而在這里會(huì)有一個(gè)臭蟲到登記臺(tái)來(lái)找我的房間號(hào)碼，我還是第一次遇到呢。
爆笑的好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯：A Car Thief 盜車賊
A man has a long history of stealing cars. When he did it again, he was caught by the police.
The prosecutor asked him, "Now tell the court how you came to take that car." To defend himself, the man said, "The car was parked by a cemetery. I thought the owner was dead, and then I took it."
有個(gè)人有長(zhǎng)期偷車的經(jīng)歷。當(dāng)他又一次偷車時(shí)，被警察抓住了。檢控官對(duì)他說(shuō)：“現(xiàn)在要告訴法庭你是怎樣偷走這部車的。”
檢察官問(wèn)他，“現(xiàn)在據(jù)實(shí)交代你為何要偷這輛車。”這個(gè)人為自己辯解說(shuō)：“這部車是停在一個(gè)墓地旁的。我以為車主已經(jīng)死了，就把它開走了。”
爆笑的好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯：Simple Calculation 簡(jiǎn)單估算費(fèi)
A housewife didn't know how to estimate the cost of living, so she asked her husband about it。 Her husband said, "It's very simple. Take our income and add 30 per cent." 有個(gè)家庭主婦不知道怎樣估算他們的生活費(fèi)用，就去問(wèn)她的丈夫。 她的丈夫說(shuō)：“很簡(jiǎn)單。就是把我們的收入另外加30%”
爆笑的好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯：Each Man Has His Merits 各有所長(zhǎng)
A foreigner applied for citizenship paper in New York. The judge asked him, "Do you want to be made a citizen of the United States?" The foreigner replied, "Yes, Mr. Judge."
Then the judge said, "I must examine you, do you know how many states are in the Union?" The foreigner answered, "Mr. Judge, I think I should talk to you that each man has his merits. You know your business so you know how many states are in the Union. I know my business, so I know how many bananas are in a bunch."
有個(gè)外國(guó)人在紐約申請(qǐng)美國(guó)公民身份的證件。法官為他：“你想成為美國(guó)公民嗎?” 外國(guó)人回答說(shuō)：“是的，法官先生。”
法官說(shuō)：“那我要考考你。你知道美國(guó)有多少個(gè)州嗎?”外國(guó)人回答說(shuō)：“法官先生，我想應(yīng)該和你講一下，人是各有所長(zhǎng)的，你懂你的業(yè)務(wù)，所以你知道美國(guó)有多少個(gè)州，我懂我的業(yè)務(wù)，所以我知道一串香蕉有多少只。”
爆笑的好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯：Giving Degrees 授予學(xué)位
Woodrow Wilson disapproved very strongly of indiscriminate(無(wú)差別的) giving of honorary degrees when he was president of Princeton University.
He said, "Our universities have learned recently to give honorary degrees carefully. But in the past it was very promiscuous(混雜的). I had met a n uncouth(笨拙的) person who had three degrees, but then he spoke and behaved very rudely."
I asked an acquaintance why it was. He said, "Well, the third was given because he had had two. He was given the second because he had had one, and he was given the first because he had gone."
伍德羅·威爾遜當(dāng)普凌斯頓大學(xué)的校長(zhǎng)時(shí)，強(qiáng)烈反對(duì)隨便給人授予榮譽(yù)學(xué)位。
他說(shuō)：“我們的大學(xué)最近才懂得授予授予榮譽(yù)學(xué)位要慎重，以前卻是很隨便的。我曾遇見(jiàn)一個(gè)很粗魯?shù)娜耍腥齻€(gè)這樣的學(xué)位，可是他的言談舉止很不文明。”
我問(wèn)一個(gè)熟人為什么這個(gè)人能得到三個(gè)榮譽(yù)學(xué)位，他說(shuō)：“授予他第三個(gè)學(xué)位是因?yàn)樗延辛藘蓚€(gè)，給他第二個(gè)是因?yàn)樗延辛艘粋€(gè)，而給他第一個(gè)則是因?yàn)樗麤](méi)有學(xué)位。”
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