史上最好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)
冷笑話(huà)是近幾年新興的一種語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,它輕松詼諧、別具一格,給我們緊張的生活增添了幾分輕松的情趣,它一出現(xiàn)便受到了大多數(shù)人的喜愛(ài)。小編精心收集了史上最好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
史上最好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：Who is in the shop to take care of it 那誰(shuí)在店里管事啊?
The owner of a grocery was on his deathbed. The entire family had gathered in his bed room weeping and wailing.
At last the old man looked at them with a worried expression, seeming as if the wanted to speak. His wife and children all pressed forward to hear what he would say.
"Is mama here?" he asked in a very feeble voice.
"Yes," answered his wife.
"Is the whole family here?" he said.
"Yes," replied his elder son.
This made him so anxious that he suddenly struggled to shout, "Then who is in the shop to take care of it?"
一家雜貨店的老板快要死了，全家人都聚在他的睡房里哀傷的慟哭。
最后，老板神情憂(yōu)慮地看著他們，好像有話(huà)要說(shuō)。他的妻子和兒女都擁到前邊去聽(tīng)他說(shuō)什么。
他聲音非常虛弱地問(wèn)道：“媽媽在這里嗎?”
“在”，他的妻子回答說(shuō)。
他說(shuō)：“全家都在這里嗎?”
“是的，”他的大兒子回答說(shuō)。
這時(shí)他焦慮不安地忽然掙扎著大叫道：“那誰(shuí)在店里管事呀?”
史上最好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：An interview with a stateman 快速采訪
A news reporter said to a great stateman, "I have come to interview you, sir."
The great stateman said, "Well, go back to write your interview. Then let me see it."
"Here it is," said the reporter.
一個(gè)新聞?dòng)浾邔?duì)一個(gè)大政治家說(shuō)：“我是來(lái)采訪閣下的。”
大政治家說(shuō)：“嗯，回去寫(xiě)你的采訪記吧。寫(xiě)好后給我看看。”
“已經(jīng)寫(xiě)好了，這就是。”記者說(shuō)。
史上最好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：His reason 他的理由
A young writer was hoping that the editor would accept his novel. But the editor said, "You have no reason to ask me to publish your novel. It's not good enough."
The dismayed young writer seemed lost in thought, and then said, "I enclosed a stamp every time for you to return the rejected manuscripts. I think if you accept my novel, you may keep the stamp."
一個(gè)青年作者渴望主編會(huì)接受他寫(xiě)的小說(shuō)?？墒侵骶帉?duì)他說(shuō)：“你沒(méi)有理由要求我發(fā)表你的小說(shuō)，它不夠好嘛。”
失望的青年作者好像沉思了一會(huì)，然后說(shuō)：“我每次都附了郵票供你退稿時(shí)用，我想你若接受了我的小說(shuō)，就可以留下郵票啦。”
史上最好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：Who is right 誰(shuí)是對(duì)的
After the couple's quarreling, the husband shouted: "You should remember that no matter what tine it is, what the man is thinking of is right, and his judgment is correct, but you women are always do the opposite."
The wife answered, "Yes, that you chose me to be your wife is right, but my choosing you as my husband is a big mistake!"
夫妻吵架后，丈夫嚷道：“你該記住，無(wú)論什么時(shí)候，男人的思考都是對(duì)的，判斷準(zhǔn)確無(wú)誤，而女人卻恰恰相反。”
妻子回答道：“是呀，你選我做妻子是絕對(duì)正確的，而我選你做丈夫是大錯(cuò)特錯(cuò)!”
史上最好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：The farmer and barber 農(nóng)場(chǎng)主和理發(fā)師
When life was very hard, a farmer said to a barber: "Now corn's lower in price. I think you should shave for half price."
"I can't, sir," said the barber, "I really should charge more because when corn's cheap, farmers are unhappy and worried. All of them make such long faces that I have twice the ground to go over."
生活很艱難的時(shí)候，一個(gè)農(nóng)場(chǎng)主對(duì)理發(fā)師說(shuō)：“現(xiàn)在糧食跌價(jià)了，你給人刮臉也應(yīng)該只收半價(jià)。”
“不行啊，先生。”理發(fā)師說(shuō)，“其實(shí)我應(yīng)該多收一點(diǎn)錢(qián)的，因?yàn)榧Z食跌價(jià)了，農(nóng)場(chǎng)主都很不高興了，發(fā)愁了，一個(gè)個(gè)都愁得把臉拉得很長(zhǎng)。我要刮的地方比原來(lái)大了一倍啦。”
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