小學英語笑話短文閱讀
小學英語笑話短文閱讀
笑話是民族文化及社會生活中不可缺少的一環(huán),從古至今都擁有廣大的受眾,深受人們喜愛。學習啦小編分享小學英語笑話短文，希望可以幫助大家!
小學英語笑話短文：Mule Balls
An American couple on vacation with some friends in Mexico were shopping at the market to bring back a few souvenirs to their family and friends. Time passed, and the couple realized that neither of them was wearing a watch. They noticed this little Mexican man taking a siesta next to this mule, which had the largest set of mule nuts they had ever seen.
Trying not to stare at the huge mule nuts, they asked the little Mexican man, "Excuse us, but could you tell us what time it is?"
The little Mexican man reached his hand under the enormous set of mule nuts and, lifting them high, said, "It's 3 o'clock."
Amazed by this, the American couple went off to find their friends and tell them the amazing story. "This little Mexican man over there can tell time by lifting his mule's balls!"
Curious and amazed, the friends wanted to see this first-hand, so they went back and asked the little Mexican man what time it was.
Sure enough, the little Mexican man reached out again, cupped his hands under the mule's nuts, lifted them up as if to weigh them, and said, "It is 3:15."
The friends checked the time on their watches, and sure enough, the little man was correct.
Blown away by this, the American couple finally asked, "It is just amazing...how do you do that?"
"Do what?" the Mexican asked.
"Tell the time by lifting your mule's balls!"
"Ah...." said the Mexican. "I just need to lift his balls so I can see that big clock across the street."
小學英語笑話短文：Trained Parrot
here was a little old lady who was nearly blind, and she had three sons who wanted to prove which one was the best to her.
Son #1 bought her a 15-room mansion, thinking this would surely be the best that any of them could offer her.
Son #2 bought her a beautiful Mercedes with a chauffeur included, thinking this would surely win her approval.
Son #3 had to do something even better, so he bought her a parrot that he had been training for 15 years to memorize the entire Bible. You could ask the parrot any verse in the Bible, and he could quote it word for word. What a gift that would be.
Well, the old lady went to the first son and said, "Son, the house is just gorgeous, but it's really much too big for me. I only live in one room, and it's too large to clean and take care of. I really don't need the house, but thank you anyway." Then she confronted her second son with, "Son, the car is beautiful. It has everything you could ever want on it, but I don't drive and really don't like the chauffeur, so please return the car."
Next, she went to Son #3 and said, "Son, I just want to thank you for your most thoughtful gift. That chicken was delicious."
小學英語笑話短文：Lesson Number One
Chatting with a bull, a turkey sighed and said, "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree, but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed withnutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, the turkey reached the second branch. Finally, after a week, there he was, proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon, though, the turkey was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey from the tree.
The moral of the story is: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
小學英語笑話短文：Sparrow
Once upon a time, there was a nonconformist sparrow who decided to not fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather had turned so cold that he reluctantly decided to fly south. In a short time, ice began to form on his wings, and he fell to earth nearly frozen solid, landing in a barnyard.
A cow passed by where the sparrow had fallen and crapped on the little bird. The sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings! Warm and happy and able to breath, the sparrow started to sing. Just then, a large cat came by and heard the chirping. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird, and promptly ate him.
The moral of the story: Everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy; everyone who gets you out of crap is not necessarily your friend; and if you're warm and happy in a pile of crap, you might just want to keep your mouth shut.
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