爆笑最新冷笑話
爆笑最新冷笑話
冷笑話是近幾年新興的一種語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,它輕松詼諧、別具一格,給我們緊張的生活增添了幾分輕松的情趣,它一出現(xiàn)便受到了大多數(shù)人的喜愛(ài)。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的最新爆笑冷笑話，歡迎閱讀!
最新爆笑冷笑話篇一
Another Engine Is Down(又一個(gè)引擎出了故障)
A Boeing 747 was flying in the night sky of the Pacific Ocean. The captain got on the loud speaker:" Travellers, one of our engines was out of order , therefore we’ll arrive in Tokyo an hour late ." After a short while, the trumpet (喇叭)rang out again:" Everybody, the second one of our four engines went wrong, we will reach Tokyo late three hours as a result." At this time, the passengers started disturbance(騷動(dòng)，動(dòng)亂). Someone said:" In case another engine is down again , we’ll be up here all night." Moreover, a chap got to shouting unendurably:" I do not choose to take your awful airplane any longer, let me get off quickly."
一架波音747飛行在太平洋的夜空，喇叭里傳來(lái)機(jī)長(zhǎng)的聲音：“旅客們，我們的一個(gè)引擎壞了，因此我們將晚到達(dá)東京一個(gè)小時(shí)。”過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，喇叭再次響起：“諸位，我們四個(gè)引擎中又壞了一個(gè)引擎，為此我們將晚到三個(gè)小時(shí)。”這時(shí)，乘客開(kāi)始騷動(dòng)。有人說(shuō)：“萬(wàn)一再壞一個(gè)，我們得呆在天上一整夜了。”還有已經(jīng)受不了的，大叫：“我再也不坐你們的破飛機(jī)了，快讓我下去。”
最新爆笑冷笑話篇二
As If Awakening From A Dream ( 如夢(mèng)初醒)
A competition whose subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly: " Alcohol can break down conjugal (婚姻的，夫妻之間的)relation, even cause your wife to leave you … " A man shouts out at the news : " Give me another bottle of Brandy."
以戒酒為主題的演講比賽正在進(jìn)行，一個(gè)演講者動(dòng)情地說(shuō)：“酒精可以破壞夫妻關(guān)系，甚至導(dǎo)致妻子離開(kāi)自己的丈夫……”這時(shí)一個(gè)男人大聲喊：“再來(lái)一瓶白蘭地!”
最新爆笑冷笑話篇三
One hundred percent
Patient: Doctor, please tell me the truth. What are my chances of recovery? 病人：大夫，請(qǐng)告訴我實(shí)話。我恢復(fù)的機(jī)會(huì)有多大? Doctor: Just one hundred percent! Statistics show that only nine out of ten die of the disease. Now nine of my patients have already died of it. You are the tenth! 大夫：百分之百。數(shù)據(jù)顯示得這種病的人10個(gè)里9個(gè)得死?，F(xiàn)在我的9個(gè)病人都死于該病。你是第十個(gè)。
最新爆笑冷笑話篇四
A Fishy Story
Two avid fishermen go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.
兩個(gè)殷切的釣魚(yú)愛(ài)好者要進(jìn)行一次釣魚(yú)之旅。他們租了一切所需的器材：魚(yú)線盤(pán)，釣竿，淺水服，小船，汽車(chē)，甚至一間林中小屋。為此，他們花了好多的錢(qián)。
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
第一天去釣魚(yú)，他們什么也沒(méi)釣到。第二天和第三天也是如此。直到最后，在他們旅行的最后一天，其中一個(gè)人釣到了一條魚(yú)。
As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"
回家的路上，他們都感到十分沮喪。一個(gè)人對(duì)另一個(gè)人說(shuō)：“你發(fā)現(xiàn)沒(méi)有?為了釣這條倒霉的魚(yú)，我們花了1500塊錢(qián)?”
The other guy says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
另一個(gè)人說(shuō)：“噢!幸虧我們沒(méi)有釣到更多的魚(yú)。”
最新爆笑冷笑話篇五
I Always Do
Two friends were talking about work, when one asked, "Say, why did the foreman fire you? "
兩個(gè)朋友正在談工作。其中一個(gè)問(wèn)：“為什么你被領(lǐng)班開(kāi)了?”
Replied the second, "Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watch others work. My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman."
另一個(gè)答道， “你知道領(lǐng)班是怎樣站在旁邊看別人干活的。我的領(lǐng)班嫉妒了，因?yàn)閯e人開(kāi)始以為我是領(lǐng)班。”
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