英文短篇冷笑話閱讀大全
前蘇聯(lián)著名作家高爾基說過,“哪里有人,哪里就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的英文短篇冷笑話閱讀，歡迎閱讀!
英文短篇冷笑話閱讀篇一
We share everything 我們分享一切
n elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries.
A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.
"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite.
"I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.
"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."
Unconvinced, the trucker implores1 the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"
The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"
一對(duì)老夫婦在漢堡王餐廳吃飯，他們小心翼翼地將漢堡和薯?xiàng)l分成兩份。
一個(gè)卡車司機(jī)非常同情他們，就提議想給老太太單獨(dú)點(diǎn)一份。
“沒關(guān)系的。”老先生說，“我們分享一切。”
幾分鐘后，卡車司機(jī)注意到老太太還沒動(dòng)口吃一點(diǎn)東西。
他再次對(duì)老先生說，“我真的不介意請(qǐng)您妻子吃一頓……”
“她會(huì)吃的，”老先生向他保證，“我們分享一切。”
司機(jī)不太相信，懇求老太太，“你為什么不吃一點(diǎn)?”
老太太咂咂嘴，“我在等他的假牙。”
英文短篇冷笑話閱讀篇二
The winter will be cold or mild 今年冬天冷不冷
Indians ask their new chief whether the winter will be cold or mild. Since the young chief neverlearned1 the ways of his ancestors, he tells them to collect firewood, then he goes off and calls the National Weather Service.
"Will the winter be bad?" he asks.
"Looks like it," is the answer.
So the chief tells his people to gather more firewood. A week later, he calls again.
"Are you positive the winter will be very cold?"
"Absolutely."
The chief tells his people to gather even more firewood, then calls the Weather Service again: "Are you sure?"
"I'm telling you, it's going to be the coldest winter on record."
"How do you know?"
"Because the Indians are gathering2 firewood like crazy!"
印地安人問他們的新酋長(zhǎng)，這個(gè)冬天是冷還是溫暖。這位年輕的酋長(zhǎng)從沒學(xué)過祖先那些本領(lǐng)，他只好吩咐他們?nèi)炷静?，然后自己走到一邊去給國(guó)家氣象局打電話。
“今年冬天會(huì)不會(huì)很冷?”他問。
“看上去是這樣的。”他得到這樣的回答。
于是酋長(zhǎng)要求大家收集更多的木柴。一個(gè)星期后，他又打電話給國(guó)家氣象局。
“你確信今年冬天會(huì)很冷?”
“毫無疑問。”
酋長(zhǎng)隨即要求族人撿更多的木柴，然后再次給國(guó)家氣象局打電話：“你肯定嗎?”
“我告訴你，那將是有史以來最寒冷的冬天。”
“你怎么知道?”
“因?yàn)橛〉诎踩苏l(fā)瘋似地?fù)炷静?”
英文短篇冷笑話閱讀篇三
I'm not even thirsty 我一點(diǎn)都不渴
Nearing the end, Stanislaw is surrounded by loved ones. As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, "I must tell you my greatest secret." His family urges him to go on.
"Before I got married, I had it all," Stanislaw explains. "Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me, 'Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you're on your deathbed.' So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested1 in college funds2. And now here we are. And you know what?"
"What?"
"I'm not even thirsty!"
臨死之前，斯坦尼斯被他摯愛的家人包圍著。知道自己的最后時(shí)刻就要來了，他拿出所有力氣，輕聲耳語(yǔ)，“我必須告訴你們一個(gè)最大的秘密。”他的家人催他趕緊說。
斯坦尼斯說，“在我結(jié)婚之前，我什么都有：靚車，美女，還有大把大把的錢。但是一個(gè)好朋友警告我說，‘你應(yīng)該結(jié)婚，建立一個(gè)家庭，否則當(dāng)你奄奄一息躺在床上時(shí)，都沒個(gè)人會(huì)為你端茶倒水。’于是我聽取了他的建議，離開了姑娘們，娶了一個(gè)妻子。我不再把錢花在啤酒上，而是留下來給孩子們買吃的。我賣掉了我的法拉利，投資了大學(xué)基金。所以現(xiàn)在才有了你們?？赡銈冎绬?”
“知道什么?”
“我現(xiàn)在一點(diǎn)都不渴啊!”
英文短篇冷笑話閱讀篇四
My capital has been frozen 我的資產(chǎn)已被凍結(jié)
My cousin always "borrows1" money from her older brother's piggy bank, which drives himcrazy2.
One day, she found3 the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator4.
Inside5 was6 this note: "Dear sister, I hope7 you'll understand, but my capital8 has been frozen9."
我表妹總是從她哥哥的小豬撲滿里“借錢”，她哥哥對(duì)此事感到很憤怒。
一天，表妹四處尋找，最后竟然在冰箱里發(fā)現(xiàn)了撲滿。
撲滿里有張紙條：“親愛的妹妹，我希望你能夠理解，我的資產(chǎn)現(xiàn)在已被凍結(jié)。”
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