中學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話短文閱讀
與一般日常會(huì)話不同,笑話刻意地違反合作原則,引導(dǎo)出會(huì)話含意,并且利用會(huì)話含意之間的沖突來(lái)達(dá)到其預(yù)定功能。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的中學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話短文閱讀，歡迎閱讀!
中學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話短文閱讀篇一
keep driving my truck 繼續(xù)開我的卡車
With several years of Army National Guard duty under his belt,
依仗著在陸軍國(guó)家護(hù)衛(wèi)隊(duì)服役的幾年經(jīng)驗(yàn)，
my roommate applied for officer training.
我的室友提交了參加軍官培訓(xùn)的申請(qǐng)。
But his lifelong dreams were dashed after he failed the eye exam.
但他的畢生夢(mèng)想在體檢未通過后破滅
"That's too bad," I sympathized.
“太糟了”，我同情地說(shuō)。“
"Does that mean you now have to quit the Guard entirely?"
“這是不是意味著你完全不能再在護(hù)衛(wèi)隊(duì)工作了?”
"No, I get to keep my old job," he said. "Driving trucks."
“這倒不是，我還是干我的原來(lái)的工作”，他說(shuō)。“開卡車”。
中學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話短文閱讀篇二
Bargain 討價(jià)還價(jià)
My son, a used-car dealer,
我兒子是個(gè)二手汽車商。
showed his customer a 2005 Chevy in great condition.
一次，他給一位顧客展示一輛車況還很不錯(cuò)的2005年雪弗萊。
"And it's only , 000," he told the man.
“這輛車只要7000美元”，他跟顧客說(shuō)。
"I'm willing to give you , 500," said the customer.
“我只想給3500美元”，顧客說(shuō)。
My son feigned disappointment.
我兒子裝著很失望地回答說(shuō)
"If at all possible," he responded, "I'd like to sell you the whole car."
“如果真的有可能，我原意整輛賣給你”。
中學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話短文閱讀篇三
Leave the color 把顏色留下
Years ago, people rented phones from the local telephone company
幾年前，人們從當(dāng)?shù)氐碾娫捁咀庥秒娫挄r(shí)
and had the option of paying a one-time fee to have a color model.
只要選擇額外一次性地付一點(diǎn)錢就能拿到一個(gè)彩色的電話機(jī)。
One customer, who had had his phone for some time,
有一名顧客在電話用了一些日子后忘記了這個(gè)規(guī)則。
forgot how this worked.
當(dāng)我去中斷他的電話服務(wù)時(shí)，
When I was disconnecting his service,
他不讓我把電話機(jī)帶走。
he objected to my leaving with his phone.
“那是我的電話機(jī)”，他生氣地說(shuō)
"That's mine," he said angrily. "I paid for it."
“我付了錢的。”
"No, sir, you paid for the color, not the phone," I explained.
不是，先生，你付的是顏色的錢，不是手機(jī)。我給他解釋。
"Okay, take the phone," he said calmly, "but leave the color."
“那好，把電話拿走吧，”他平靜地說(shuō)，“但顏色得留。
中學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話短文閱讀篇四
Blonde Detectives 美女偵探
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives.
一位警官正在詢問三位想成為偵探的金發(fā)女郎。
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect,
為了測(cè)試她們辨別嫌疑犯的技巧，
he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.
他讓其中一位看一張照片，五秒鐘后把照片藏了起來(lái)。
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
“這就是你的嫌疑犯，你怎么樣能把他再認(rèn)出來(lái)?”
The first blonde answers,這位美女回答，
"That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
“這太容易了，他只有一只眼睛，我一下就能認(rèn)出他來(lái)!”
The policeman says,
警官說(shuō)，
"Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."
“喔……嗯……那是因?yàn)檫@只是他的側(cè)面。”
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response,
警官被這個(gè)荒謬的答案搞的有點(diǎn)不知所措，
he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her,
他把照片在第二位小姐面前一晃，五秒鐘后問道，
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
“這就是你的嫌疑犯，你怎樣才能把他認(rèn)出來(lái)?”
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says,
女郎咯咯地傻笑，撩了撩自己的頭發(fā)說(shuō)，
"Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he has only one ear!"
“哈!他太容易被認(rèn)出來(lái)了，因?yàn)樗挥幸恢欢?”
The policeman angrily responds,
警官惱怒地叫起來(lái)，
"What's the matter with you two?
你們兩個(gè)是怎么搞的?
Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his profile!
他當(dāng)然只有一只眼睛一只耳朵，因?yàn)檫@是他的側(cè)面像!
Is that the best answer you can come up with?"這就是你們最好的答案嗎?”
Extremely frustrated at this point,he shows the picture to the third blonde
他很泄氣地給第三位女郎看了照片，
and in a very testy voice asks,
很不耐煩地問她
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"，
“這是你的嫌疑犯，你怎么樣再認(rèn)出他來(lái)?”
He quickly adds "... think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
他迅速又補(bǔ)充了一句，“在給我愚蠢的答案之前你先好好想想。”
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says,
這位美女很專心地看了一會(huì)兒，
"Hmmmm... the suspect wears contact lenses."
說(shuō)，“他戴的是隱形眼鏡。”
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
警官非常吃驚，一句話也說(shuō)不出來(lái)了因?yàn)檫B他自己都不知道那個(gè)人是不是戴隱形眼鏡。
"Well, that's an interesting answer...“
嗯，這個(gè)答案真有意思。
wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that.
"你稍等，我去查一下他的檔案，馬上回來(lái)。”
He leaves the room and goes to his office,
他離開屋子回到辦公室，
checks the suspect's file in his computer,
查了下電腦中的檔案
and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.，
喜氣洋洋地回來(lái)了。
"Wow! I can't believe it... it's TRUE!
“哇!我簡(jiǎn)直不能相信。是真的!
The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses.
他確實(shí)是戴隱形眼鏡的。你做得太棒了!你怎么會(huì)有這么敏銳的觀察力呢?”
Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
“很簡(jiǎn)單啊，”女郎回答說(shuō)，
"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
“他不可能帶普通眼鏡的嘛，因?yàn)樗挥幸恢谎劬鸵恢欢洹?rdquo;
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