英語開心一刻幽默小笑話
英語開心一刻幽默小笑話
笑話和幽默的感染力,很大程度上依賴于修辭格的運(yùn)用。把修辭格有意識(shí)地運(yùn)用到笑話幽默的創(chuàng)作中去,能夠?yàn)槿藗兲峁└玫木癞a(chǎn)品。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的英語開心一刻幽默小笑話，歡迎閱讀!
英語開心一刻幽默小笑話篇一
Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room.
"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago."
"Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?"
"To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."
一個(gè)看起來很難受的窮人走進(jìn)大夫的診室。
"大夫!"他說，"幫幫我!一個(gè)月前我吞了一分硬幣!"
"天哪，"大夫說，"早干嘛去了?你當(dāng)時(shí)怎么不來看?"
"實(shí)話告訴您吧，大夫，"窮人說，"我當(dāng)時(shí)還不缺錢!"
英語開心一刻幽默小笑話篇二
剛來加拿大的時(shí)候去買快餐，英文很爛我就說i want combo one,(大號(hào)的)后來那個(gè)人又說了一大堆英文問我要洋蔥cheese(奶酪)么之類的?我聽不懂就一個(gè)勁說i want combo one,
后來我看見那個(gè)人像中國人，我就直接問他Can you spell Chinese? (你能拼寫中文嗎?)
然后那個(gè)人郁悶了好久我為啥問他能能拼chinese..
后來才發(fā)現(xiàn)是speak不是spell............
英語開心一刻幽默小笑話篇三
Do You Know Santa's True Profession?
Consider the following:
1. You never actually see Santa, only his "assistants."
2. Santa keeps his job until he decides to retire.
3. Santa doesn't really do the work; he directs a bunch of helpers to do all his work for him, but he's the one who everybody credits with the work.
4. Santa doesn't work a 40-hour week.
5. Santa travels a lot.
Santa is obviously a senior faculty member with tenure!
圣誕老人的真實(shí)職業(yè)是什么?
考慮以下幾點(diǎn)
1. 你其實(shí)從來沒見過圣誕老人，你看見的都是他得助手(他得助手真的好多，除了過圣誕節(jié)的所有父母外，還有職業(yè)“圣誕老人”)
2. 圣誕老人不想退休，就可以一直當(dāng)他的圣誕老人。
3. 圣誕老人不會(huì)做實(shí)事，他都是指揮一堆幫手幫他做完所有的事情，但是事情做得好還是不好，功績和責(zé)任都算圣誕老人的。
4. 圣誕老人實(shí)行的可不是朝九晚五雙休制。
5. 圣誕老人經(jīng)常旅行
圣誕老人顯然是一個(gè)高級(jí)職員(please, 這世界上還有比他的工作更好的工作嗎?)
英語開心一刻幽默小笑話篇四
A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur bones lying about.
"How old are these bones?" the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide.
"Exactly one hundred million and three years old.
"How can you be so sure?" inquired the tourist.
"Well," replied the guide, " a geologist came by here and told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three years ago.
一位游客在新墨西哥游覽。他對隨處可見的恐龍化石甚感驚奇。
“這些化石有多長的歷史?”游客問一個(gè)上了年紀(jì)的當(dāng)?shù)孛绹?。他是作向?qū)У摹?/p>
“整整十億零三年了。” “你怎么這么肯定?”游客問道。 “哦，”向?qū)Щ卮鸬溃?ldquo;一個(gè)地質(zhì)學(xué)家來過這兒，他告訴我說這些化石有十億年了，再加上那是整整三年前的事了。”
英語開心一刻幽默小笑話篇五
An artist was part of an exhibition, and he asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display.
"I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied.
"Give me the good news first," the artist demanded.
"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What could the bad news possibly be?"
With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The gentleman in question was your doctor."
以為藝術(shù)家在一個(gè)畫廊辦了個(gè)展覽，他問店主是否有人對他參展的畫感興趣。
“我有一個(gè)好消息和一個(gè)壞消息。”店主回答。
“先告訴我好消息。”畫家要求道。
“好消息是一位紳士詢問了你的作品，還問它是否會(huì)在你死后增。我告訴他會(huì)的，然后他買下了你所有的15幅畫作。”
“那太棒了!”畫家驚嘆。“那么什么會(huì)是壞消息呢?”
店主想了想之后說：“問那個(gè)問題的是你的醫(yī)生”。
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