英語(yǔ)小笑話帶翻譯爆笑大全

　　蘇聯(lián)政治笑話的功能,就國(guó)家政權(quán)層面而言,它具有十分鮮明的警示作用,因而具有建設(shè)性的功能,并發(fā)揮著政治安全閥的作用。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的爆笑英語(yǔ)小笑話帶翻譯，歡迎閱讀!

　　爆笑英語(yǔ)小笑話帶翻譯大全

　　(一)

　　An older lady gets undressed and starts to get into the bathtub. She gets about halfway into the tub and thinks, "Was I getting into the tub or getting out?”

　　一個(gè)上了年紀(jì)的女人脫了衣服準(zhǔn)備去洗澡。她剛把一只腳邁進(jìn)浴缸就想:我是打算進(jìn)去呢?還是正要出去?

　　She calls out, "Bernice! Was I getting into the bathtub or getting out?"

　　她大聲喊:“伯尼斯!我這是正要去洗澡還是打算要出來(lái)呢?”

　　Bernice says, "Well I don’t know. I' 11 have to come up and look.” Bernice starts walking up the stairs to the bathroom, gets halfway up and thinks to herself, “Was I going up the stairs or down? " She calls out "Sally! Was I going up or down the stairs?”

　　伯尼斯說(shuō):“我不知道，我這就上去看看。”伯尼斯開(kāi)始往樓上的浴室走，走到一半時(shí)想到:我這是要上樓呢還是下樓?她大喊:“莎莉!我這是要上樓呢還是要下樓呢?”

　　Sally, who is just being with Bernice down in the living room calls back,“How should I know?” and thinks to herself, “I' m glad I’m not losing my mind like the other people in this house.”

　　剛還和伯尼斯在樓下客廳里的莎莉喊:“我怎么知道?”她自己想:我真的很高興我不像這個(gè)屋子里的其它人一樣沒(méi)記性。

　　(二)

　　Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.

　　卡爾森被指控盜竊一輛奔馳轎車，經(jīng)過(guò)長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的審訊，陪審團(tuán)將他無(wú)罪釋放。之后，卡爾森找到了聽(tīng)證會(huì)上主持的法官。

　　“Your honor,” he said, “I want to get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine.”

　　“法官大人，”他說(shuō)，“我想申請(qǐng)一張逮捕令抓捕那個(gè)骯臟的律師。”

　　“Why?” asked the judge, “He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?”

　　“為什么?”法官問(wèn)，“他讓你贏得了無(wú)罪釋放。難道他有什么罪嗎?”

　　“Well，your honor,”replied Carlson, “I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole.”

　　“是的，法官大人，”卡爾森回答，“我沒(méi)有錢付我的律師費(fèi)，他就把我那輛偷來(lái)的車開(kāi)走了。”

　　爆笑英語(yǔ)小笑話帶翻譯欣賞

　　An American tourist was riding in a taxi in Israel. As the taxi approached a red light, the tourist was shocked to see the driver drive straight through without even slowing down. Surprised as he was, he didn’t say anything, feeling himself a "guest" and not wanting to make waves.

　　一個(gè)美國(guó)游客在以色列打了一輛出租車。使這個(gè)美國(guó)游客震驚的是，當(dāng)出租車開(kāi)到紅燈底下的時(shí)候，司機(jī)根本沒(méi)有減速就直著沖了過(guò)去。雖然他很吃驚，但他什么也沒(méi)說(shuō)。他覺(jué)得自己是個(gè)游客不應(yīng)該找麻煩。

　　The trip continued without event until the next intersection. This time the light was green and，to the American' s dismay, the cab driver brought the vehicle to a grinding halt. Unable to contain his astonishment, he turns to the driver: "Listen,” he says ,“ when you went through the red light, I didn't say anything. But, why, in heaven’s name，are you stopping at a green light?!”

　　一切都很順利，直到下一個(gè)十字路口。這回是綠燈，可讓美國(guó)人驚愕的是那個(gè)司機(jī)踩剎車停了下來(lái)。他再也憋不住了，就問(wèn)司機(jī):“我問(wèn)你，剛才你闖紅燈我什么都沒(méi)說(shuō)，可這回是綠燈為什么你卻停了下來(lái)?”

　　The Israeli driver looks at him as if the American was deranged: "Are you crazy?!” he shouts. "The other guy has a red light一do you want to get us killed?!”

　　那個(gè)以色列司機(jī)看著那美國(guó)人，驚訝的喊道:“你瘋了嗎?另一個(gè)司機(jī)現(xiàn)在正要闖紅燈，難道你想找死嗎?”

　　經(jīng)典的爆笑英語(yǔ)小笑話帶翻譯

　　Two Irish lovers are sitting on a bench, in a park. They are holding hands，but the lady is nervously twisting her hands.

　　一對(duì)愛(ài)爾蘭情侶坐在公園里的長(zhǎng)椅上。他們手牽著手，但是那個(gè)女的一直緊張地?cái)[弄她的雙手。

　　Mary: “Patrick. I have something to tell you.”

　　瑪麗:“帕特瑞克，我有些事想告訴你。”

　　Patrick: “Well，what’s on your mind? You know you can tell me everything.”

　　帕特瑞克:“好的，你在想什么?有什么事你盡管可以跟我說(shuō)。”

　　Mary: “It’ s so terrible.”

　　瑪麗:“這件事簡(jiǎn)直太難講出口了。”

　　Patrick: “You know you can trust me. What is it?”

　　帕克瑞克:“請(qǐng)你相信我，到底是什么事?”

　　Mary: “Well, it was a few years ago. Father lost his job, and no money in sight…”

　　瑪麗:“那是好幾年前的事了。我爸爸失業(yè)了，當(dāng)時(shí)沒(méi)有錢。”

　　Patrick: “So, what is it?”

　　帕特瑞克:“那然后呢?”

　　Mary: “Oh. We were so desperate. For some time I had to turn… prostitute!”

　　瑪麗:“哦，當(dāng)時(shí)我們簡(jiǎn)直是絕望之極。所以有時(shí)候我不得不去做妓女!”

　　Patrick: “WHAT!”

　　帕特瑞克:“你說(shuō)什么?”

　　Mary: “We needed the money so bad!”

　　瑪麗:“我們太需要錢了。”

　　Patrick: “There is no good reason for this! Endangering your very soul! How could you? YOU! Mary, this is more than I can stand!”

　　帕特瑞克:“不要找借口開(kāi)脫了。出賣你的靈魂，你怎么能這么做呢? 你! 瑪麗，這我實(shí)在是接受不了。”

　　Mary: “Not you, Pat! No! I thought you'd understand. I thought your could still love me, even though I had been a whore.”

　　瑪麗:“不，帕特請(qǐng)不要這樣，我覺(jué)得你能理解我。我相信你依然愛(ài)我，哪怕我曾經(jīng)出賣過(guò)自己的身體。”

　　Patrick:“Oh! … You … Well, that's ok. For a moment I thought you said protestant’!”

　　帕特瑞克:“哦，你等會(huì)兒，那沒(méi)關(guān)系。剛才我還以為你是說(shuō)你是當(dāng)了新教徒呢。”