經(jīng)典的簡(jiǎn)單短小英語(yǔ)笑話

　　我國(guó)喜劇藝術(shù)源遠(yuǎn)流長(zhǎng),豐富多彩,笑話便是綻放在喜劇藝苑中的一朵奇葩。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的簡(jiǎn)單短小英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　簡(jiǎn)單短小英語(yǔ)笑話大全

　　(一)

　　遲鈍的老公PK委婉的提醒

　　Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a specialoccasion.

　　婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一個(gè)特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。

　　On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted,Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?

　　在我們結(jié)婚35周年紀(jì)念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：親愛(ài)的，你意識(shí)到我們?cè)谶@兩個(gè)相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎?

　　Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, So, you want to switch seats?

　　他放下報(bào)紙，眼睛直直地望著我：因此，你想交換座位嗎?

　　(二)

　　A Careless Barber 催命理發(fā)員

　　Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in?

　　理發(fā)員：你進(jìn)來(lái)時(shí)是不是系著紅圍巾?

　　Customer: No.

　　顧客：沒(méi)有呀。

　　Barber: Oh, then I must have cut your throat.

　　理發(fā)員：噢，那我肯定弄破了你的喉嚨。

　　簡(jiǎn)單短小英語(yǔ)笑話欣賞

　　(一)

　　Doctor's Orders 緊遵醫(yī)囑

　　Brown: I'm sorry to see you so unwell. Have you seen the doctor?

　　布朗：看到你身體這樣不好真讓人難過(guò)。你去看醫(yī)生了嗎?

　　Jack: Yes. I'm having three baths a day.

　　杰克：看過(guò)了，我現(xiàn)在一天洗三次澡。

　　Brown: What for?

　　布朗：為什么?

　　Jack: Don't know, doctor's orders. He gave me some medicine and told me to follow thedirections on the bottle, which read:" One tablespoonful to be taken three times a day in water."

　　杰克：我也不知道，這是醫(yī)生的囑咐。他給了我一些藥并告訴我要按照藥瓶上的說(shuō)明去做。說(shuō)明上面寫(xiě)著“一天三次在水中服一湯匙。”

　　(二)

　　A smart horse 聰明的馬

　　There was a farmer who fell and broke his hip while he was plowing, and his horse immediatelygalloped five miles to the nearest town and returned, carrying a doctor on his back.

　　一位農(nóng)夫在犁田時(shí)，不慎跌倒摔傷了屁股，他的馬立即飛奔到五哩外最近的小鎮(zhèn)，載了一位醫(yī)生回來(lái)。

　　"That's a pretty smart horse," the farmer's friend later observed."Well, he's not really sosmart," the farmer said. "The doctor he brought back was a veterinarian!"

　　一個(gè)朋友看到后便夸贊說(shuō)：“你這匹馬真是聰明!”農(nóng)夫說(shuō)：“也沒(méi)有你想的那么聰明啦!它帶來(lái)的是一位獸醫(yī)!”

　　經(jīng)典的簡(jiǎn)單短小英語(yǔ)笑話

　　(一)

　　Good News and Bad News 好消息和壞消息

　　An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently ondisplay.一名藝術(shù)家問(wèn)畫(huà)廊老板，最近有沒(méi)有人對(duì)他展出的畫(huà)感興趣。"I've got good news and badnews," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work andwondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he boughtall fifteen of your paintings."“這有好消息和壞消息，”老板回答。“好消息是有一位先生咨詢你的作品，他想知道在你死后你的畫(huà)會(huì)不會(huì)升值。我告訴他你的畫(huà)會(huì)升值，他就把你的15幅畫(huà)全都買走了。”"That'swonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?". With concern, the gallery ownerreplied, "The guy was your doctor."“真是太好了”，藝術(shù)家是喜形于色，“那壞消息是什么?”帶著關(guān)心的口吻，畫(huà)廊老板回答，“買畫(huà)的人是你的醫(yī)生”。

　　(二)

　　Intelligent Son 聰明的兒子

　　One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn’t write the address and addressee‘s name on the envelope.

　　有一天,父親讓八歲的兒子去寄一封信,兒子已經(jīng)拿著信跑了,父親才想起信封上沒(méi)寫(xiě)地址和收信人的名字。

　　After the son comes back, the father asks him: “You have thrown the letter in the mail box?”

　　兒子回來(lái)后,父親問(wèn)他:“你把信丟進(jìn)郵筒了嗎?”

　　“Certainly”

　　“當(dāng)然”

　　“You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?”

　　“你沒(méi)看見(jiàn)信封上沒(méi)有寫(xiě)地址和收信人名字嗎?”

　　“I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope.”

　　“我當(dāng)然看見(jiàn)信封上什么也沒(méi)寫(xiě)”

　　“Then why you didn’t take it back?”

　　“那你為什么不拿回來(lái)呢?”

　　“I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!”

　　“我還以為你不寫(xiě)地址和收信人,是為了不想讓我知道你把信寄給誰(shuí)呢!”