小學(xué)二年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話精選

　　巴渠勞動(dòng)人民創(chuàng)作了大量富有地方特色的笑話故事 ,用以諷世警行和自我娛樂。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的小學(xué)二年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　小學(xué)二年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話精選

　　(一)

　　Contented Married Life

　　令人滿意的婚姻生活

　　A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes all the small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and no arguments."

　　一個(gè)男人告訴他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美滿的秘密，“小事都由我妻子決定，”他解釋說：“而我只管大事，我們從不互相干涉，從不生對(duì)方的氣。我們從來沒有抱怨、沒有爭(zhēng)吵。”

　　"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisions does your wife make?"

　　“聽起來很有道理，”他的朋友深有同感，“有哪些事情由你妻子作決定呢?”

　　"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."

　　“嗯，”那個(gè)人回答說：“她決定我申請(qǐng)什么工作，我們住什么房子，買什么家具，去哪里度假這些事情。”

　　His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"

　　他的朋友很驚奇的問道：“哦?那么你決定哪些重要事情?”

　　"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."

　　“嗯，”他回答：“我決定誰來當(dāng)首相，我們是否要增加對(duì)貧困國(guó)家的援助，怎么處理原子彈等等這些問題。”

　　(二)

　　約會(huì)完成進(jìn)行時(shí)

　　A youngster asks a girl who comes to the date:" Is this your date with the young man for thefirst time? "" Too bloody right. Gee, how are you men all always asking this question?"

　　一個(gè)小伙子問前來赴約的女孩：“你是第一次和男孩子約會(huì)嗎?”“那當(dāng)然了。咦，怎么你們男孩子都愛問這個(gè)問題呀?”

　　小學(xué)二年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀

　　(一)

　　主持人王寧和劉純燕的親屬關(guān)系

　　Wang-Ning, News network host hastened home by motorcycle after work., his girlfriend Liu-Chunyan sat behind him on the pillion, who was dainty and cute children program hostess. Adevoted audience recognized him suddenly, saying "hello" passionately:" Hi, you pick up yourchild back?"

　　新聞聯(lián)播節(jié)目主持人王寧下班后騎摩托車回家，車子后面帶著他的女友，嬌小玲瓏的少兒節(jié)目主持人劉純燕。一位忠實(shí)的觀眾忽然認(rèn)出了他，熱情地打招呼：“嗨，把孩子接回來了?”

　　(二)

　　賣瓦盆的小販

　　A peddler sold earthen basins in the wayside, he chanted as knocked :"Earthen basin is round,beautiful and solid, judging by the sound, they are all good." At the time of his knocking, thatearthen basin was broken into pieces with a crack(爆裂聲) . Lookers-on burst into the roarsof laughter. He threw the fragments(碎片，殘片) without extra trouble into paddy(稻谷，稻田) field, but an experienced peasant from the crowd did not let him off(放過，不懲罰)easily:" How the deuce (強(qiáng)式特指問句) can you throw them into my field? They’ll impede mygrowing crops!" The peddler who sold earthen basins tried to explain it away promptly:"Nothing, the fragments will be converted into powder as soon as they absorbed water ."[qh]

　　一個(gè)小販在路邊賣瓦盆，他一邊敲一邊唱：“瓦盆圓又圓，結(jié)實(shí)又好看，光聽這聲音，就知不一般。”敲著敲著，“啪啦”一聲，把盆敲爛了。圍觀的人一陣哄笑。他順手把碎片扔進(jìn)了稻田里，誰知人群中一個(gè)老農(nóng)不干了：“你怎么能往我地里扔?這不影響我種田嗎?” 賣瓦盆的小販連忙辯解：“不要緊，瓦片見水一會(huì)兒就粉了。”

　　關(guān)于小學(xué)二年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話

　　(一)

　　吃一塹,不長(zhǎng)一智 A Fall Into the Pit,Not Gain In the Wit

　　A policeman escorted a habitual criminal passing by a mountain village. Seeing containsundries store at village end, the recidivist put forward to buy a of pack cigarette. Thepoliceman pondered over:You seized the chance to escape last time like so. Hum, Cut it out.Therefore he said to the prisoner:" You wait here, I go to buy." While coming back, he foundthe repeater missing still. 　一個(gè)警察押著一個(gè)慣犯來到一個(gè)小山村。見村頭有家雜貨店，犯人提出要進(jìn)去買包香煙。警察想：你上次就是這樣借機(jī)逃跑的，哼，少來這一套。于是，他對(duì)犯人說：“你在這等著，我進(jìn)去買。”回來時(shí)，犯人還是不見了。

　　(二)

　　超速的理由 Excuse for speeding

　　A cop pulled a car over on the highway for speeding.

　　警察在高速上攔下一輛超速的車。

　　When he asked for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding? But officer, I was onlytrying to keep a safe distance between my car and the car in back of me."

　　當(dāng)他要駕駛員的駕照時(shí)，駕駛員辯稱，“超速?但是警官，我剛才只是想和我后邊的車保持安全距離。”