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學(xué)習(xí)啦>學(xué)習(xí)英語>英語閱讀>英語笑話>

簡短英語幽默笑話精選

時間: 韋彥867 分享

  笑話在文體上即文學(xué)樣式上屬于小說,因為它和小說“血緣”關(guān)系最近。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的簡短英語幽默笑話,歡迎閱讀!

  簡短英語幽默笑話精選

  (一)

  耶穌的電視機 Jesus’s Telly

  A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.

  圣誕節(jié)時孩子要了紙和蠟筆,想畫一張耶穌誕生像。最后這件藝術(shù)品被陳列出來供父母鑒賞。他們對耶穌誕生后睡的馬槽,牧羊人,耶穌及其家庭都逐一表示贊賞。

  "But what’s that in the corner?" asked Mother.

  “可是那個角落里是什么?”媽媽問。

  "Oh, that’s their telly," replied the tot.

  “噢,那是他們的電視機,”孩子回答說。

  (二)

  他的耳朵在我的衣兜里 I Have His Ear in My Pocket

  van came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

  伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問,“發(fā)生了什么事?”

  "A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

  “一個男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡說。

  "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

  “再見到他時你能認出來嗎?”媽媽問。

  "I’d know him anywhere," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

  “他走到哪里我都能認出他,”伊凡說,“他的耳朵還在我的衣兜里呢。”

  簡短英語幽默笑話閱讀

  (一)

  勒索圣誕樹 An Axe to Grind

  A boy begs his father to get him a Christmas tree this year.

  一個孩子求他爸爸,說能不能今年為家里準備一棵圣誕樹

  Each year, the boy asks and the father tells him, "I don't want to pay for it."

  小男孩每年求他爸爸得到的都是同樣的回答“我可不想為一棵樹付錢。”

  But the son kept begging. Unable to bear his son's whining, he picks up his axe one day andheads out of the house.

  但是小男孩不放棄的一直祈求,終于有一天,他爸被他的哀求折磨得受不了,他拿起一把斧子,直接沖出了門。

  Thirty minutes later he returns with a great big Christmas tree. "How did you cut it down sofast?" his son asks.

  30分鐘后,他爸爸帶著一棵超大的圣誕樹回到了加。他兒子問:“你怎么會砍得那么快?”

  "I didn't cut it down," the father replies.

  他爸爸回答到:“我不是砍的”

  "I got it at a tree lot."

  “我是從一個圣誕樹銷售中心拿的”

  "Then why did you bring an axe?"

  “那你為什么還要帶把斧子去呢?”

  "Because I didn't want to pay."

  “因為我不想付錢”

  (二)

  快速清掃 Quick Cleanup

  Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushedaround straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom.Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had beentidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank youfor not looking in the bathtub."

  不速之客就在路上,我媽媽,一個完美的家庭主婦,正忙里忙外地整理。她分配給我爸和我哥哥的任務(wù)是打掃供客人使用的浴室。一會兒之后,當她去檢查的時候,她吃驚了,曾經(jīng)一度雜亂的房間瞬間就被打掃干凈了。接著她看到浴簾上有一張紙條,紙條上寫著:“謝謝你沒往浴缸里看。”

  簡短英語幽默笑話學(xué)習(xí)

  (一)

  我一級也沒漏 I Caught Every Step

  Mr. Brown was reading his evening paper when there came a tremendous banging down thestairs. He jumped up, ran to the hall, and discovered his schoolboy son sprawled on the floor.

  布朗先生在看晚報,忽然傳來一陣什么東西從樓上摔下來的響聲。他跳了起來,跑到廳里,發(fā)現(xiàn)自己上了學(xué)的兒子四角朝天地躺在地上。

  "Did you miss a step?" asked his dad.

  “你是不是踩漏了一級臺階?”爸爸問。

  "No, I caught every blessed one!" came the bitter answered.

  “不,我每一級都撞上了,一級也沒有漏掉!”兒子痛苦地回答。

  (二)

  我希望如此 I Hope So

  Neighbour: Do you think your son will forget all he learned at college?

  鄰居:您認為您的兒子會把在大學(xué)里學(xué)的東西全忘光嗎?

  Father: I hope so -- he certainly can’t make a living by kissing girls!

  父親:我希望這樣-他當然不能以吻女孩子謀生吧!

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