史上最搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯

　　笑話是民間故事中一種短小的飽含諷刺幽默意味的體裁。下面小編整理了史上最搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯，希望大家喜歡!

　　史上最搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯摘抄

　　先生,我們9點(diǎn)關(guān)門(mén)

　　"Waitress," shouted the impatient diner, "do I have to sit here and starve all night?"

　　"no, sir, we close at nine o'clock."

　　“服務(wù)員，”用餐者不耐煩地叫道，“我必須整晚坐在這兒挨餓嗎?”

　　“不，先生，我們9點(diǎn)關(guān)門(mén)。”

　　史上最搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯鑒賞

　　母雞的腿為什么那么短?

　　Son: Why are hen's legs so short?

　　Dad: You're a fool. If the hen's legs were too long, wouldn't they drop their eggs into pieceswhen laying?

　　兒子：為什么母雞的腿這么短呢?

　　父親：你真笨。如果母雞的腿太長(zhǎng)，它們下蛋的時(shí)候，雞蛋豈不都摔碎了?

　　史上最搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯賞析

　　Contented Married Life

　　A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes allthe small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in eachother's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and noarguments."

　　"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisionsdoes your wife make?"

　　"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in,what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."

　　His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"

　　"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increaseour help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."

　　令人滿意的婚姻生活

　　一個(gè)男人告訴他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美滿的秘密，“小事都由我妻子決定，”他解釋說(shuō)：“而我只管大事，我們從不互相干涉，從不生對(duì)方的氣。我們從來(lái)沒(méi)有抱怨、沒(méi)有爭(zhēng)吵。”

　　“聽(tīng)起來(lái)很有道理，”他的朋友深有同感，“有哪些事情由你妻子作決定呢?”

　　“嗯，”那個(gè)人回答說(shuō)：“她決定我申請(qǐng)什么工作，我們住什么房子，買(mǎi)什么家具，去哪里度假這些事情。”

　　他的朋友很驚奇的問(wèn)道：“哦?那么你決定哪些重要事情?”

　　“嗯，”他回答：“我決定誰(shuí)來(lái)當(dāng)首相，我們是否要增加對(duì)貧困國(guó)家的援助，怎么處理原子彈等等這些問(wèn)題。”

　　史上最搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯欣賞

　　結(jié)婚的成本 The cost of marriage

　　The cost of marriage

　　A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

　　And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

　　婚姻的成本

　　一個(gè)小男孩問(wèn)他的父親，“爸爸，要花多少錢(qián)才能結(jié)婚呢?”

　　“我也不知道，我現(xiàn)在還在交錢(qián)。”父親回答。

　　史上最搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯品味

　　讓交警為之崩潰的一次駕駛

　　A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"

　　"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a ,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"

　　He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."

　　The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him — he's a smartass when he's drunk and stoned."

　　The guy from the back seat said, "I told you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"

　　At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

　　一個(gè)家伙開(kāi)車(chē)的時(shí)候警察追了上來(lái)。這個(gè)家伙搖開(kāi)窗戶問(wèn)警察：“怎么了，警官?”

　　“沒(méi)事，我觀察到了你的安全駕駛技術(shù)，很高興你獲得了價(jià)值5000美元的安全駕駛獎(jiǎng)。祝賀你!你認(rèn)為你要拿這筆錢(qián)去做什么?”

　　他想了一會(huì)說(shuō)“哦，我覺(jué)得，我應(yīng)該去考駕照”。

　　坐在副駕駛位的女士說(shuō)"別在意他說(shuō)的，他喝醉了酒說(shuō)胡話呢.

　　“后面座位的家伙說(shuō)”我告訴你，偷來(lái)的車(chē)我們走不遠(yuǎn)的。”

　　此時(shí)，行李箱出現(xiàn)了敲擊聲并傳出一個(gè)模糊不清的聲音：“我們穿過(guò)了邊境了嗎?”

　　史上最搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯欣賞

　　I Could Do It Slower

　　Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth?

　　Dentist: Fifty dollars.

　　Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work?

　　Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like.

　　我可以干得慢一些

　　病人：拔一顆牙收費(fèi)多少?

　　牙醫(yī)：50美元。

　　病人：只幾分鐘的活兒就要50美元?

　　牙醫(yī)：好的，如果你喜歡的話，我可以干得慢一些。