英文幽默笑話附翻譯
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英文幽默笑話1：
Women's secrets
女人，不能說的秘密
Women especially love a bargain.
女人特別喜歡便宜貨。
Women love to shop.It is the only area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.
女人喜歡購物。她們覺得那是她們在這個世界上唯一能控制的領(lǐng)域。
Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to圳it，even if they have nothing to say.
女人喜歡交談。沉默使她們不安，她們需要用交談打破沉默，即使她們沒什么可說的。
Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are.
女人需要感覺到別人不如她們.
Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp in tolved.
女人討厭蟲子。當(dāng)看到一只蜘蛛或黃蜂時，即使意志力很強的女人也需要一個男人在身旁.
Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
女人經(jīng)常結(jié)伴去公共衛(wèi)生間. 這是她們八卦的好機會。
Women think all beer is the same.
女人覺得所有品牌的啤酒都是一個味兒。
Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape realitY. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.
女人不能領(lǐng)略體育節(jié)目的魅力。男人從那些能讓他們逃離現(xiàn)實的東西中尋找娛樂，女人則從那些能提醒她們現(xiàn)實有多糟糕 的東西中尋找娛樂。
Women are paid less than men’except for one field Modeling.
女人的薪水比男人低，只有一個行業(yè)例外——模特。
Women do not know anything about cars’eVen if theY drivea car themselves.
女人對汽軍一無所知，即使她們自己開車。
Women love to talk on the phone.A woman can visit her girl friend for two weeks,and upon returning home,sheWill call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
女人喜歡煲電話粥.一個女人去看她的女朋友，她們一起生活了兩個 星期，她剛剛回家便會給這個女朋友打電話，然后會聊上3個小時。
Women do not want an honest answer to the question, "How do I look ?"
在¨我看上去怎么樣?n這個問題上，女人不想得到誠實的答案。
“Oh, nothing，has an entirely different meaning in woman—language than it does in man-language.
"哦，沒什么。 “這句話在女人的字典里的意思和在男人字典里的完全不同。
All women will say that they are overweight,but don't agree with them about it.
所有女人都會說自己超重，但千萬別對此表示贊同。
Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.
面對超速行駛的罰單，噘嘴可以使女人免于處罰，卻會使男人被拘留。
Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary.
女人并不真的在乎男人是否有幽默感，盡管她們聲稱幽默感很重要。
Women will spend hours dressing up to go out,and then they'II go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other
men: women will always catch men checking out other women。
女人在出門前花費數(shù)小時化妝，然后她們出門，花更 多時間注視其他女人。男人永遠(yuǎn)不會察覺女人注視著其他男 人，而女人總能抓住男人注視著其他女人。
The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party.
最讓女人尷尬的就是在一個正式的聚會上，發(fā)現(xiàn)另一個女人穿著和自己同樣的衣服.
英文幽默笑話2：
in a hospital for mentally disturbed people, when the doctor walked into the room of a patient, he saw him dangling from the ceiling. being frightened, he called the nurse to come and pull him down for fear that the man might fall to his death. the nurse said; "doctor, every day this patient thinks that he is a lamp, therefore, he often hangs from the ceiling!" the doctor said;“no,you have to pull him down at once; otherwise, he'll die if he falls down."
一家精神病院里，醫(yī)生走進一個病人的房間，發(fā)現(xiàn)病人正吊在天花板上晃來晃去。醫(yī)生嚇壞了，擔(dān)心病人摔下來一命嗚呼，趕緊叫護士把病人拉下來。護士說：¨醫(yī)生，這個病人每天都認(rèn)為自己是一盞燈，所以常常把自己吊在天花板上。“醫(yī)生說：¨不行，你 還是得馬上把他拉下來，免得他摔死。
after a pause,the nurse answered: "but the light will go out after i pull him down!"
護士停頓了一下，說：¨可是，如果我把他拉下來，燈不就熄了嗎?
英文幽默笑話3：
Three gorillas fell out of a tree one by one.
有三只猩猩一個接一個地從樹上掉下來。
the first one was sick,the Second was being a copycat and the third gave in to peer pressure.
第一只生病了，第二只盲目模仿，第三只屈服于同僚壓力
英文幽默笑話4：
Do you know what Americans call a person in the White House who is intelligent,honest and modest ? The answer”a is";tourist."
你知道美國人如何稱呼白宮里聰明、誠實、謙虛的人嗎?答案是“觀光客。
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