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有時(shí)“不錯(cuò)”好過(guò)“完美”

時(shí)間: admin1 分享

  I was inspired by an observation by Voltaire to make my resolution “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” In other words, instead of pushing yourself to an impossible “perfect,” and therefore getting nowhere, accept “good.” Many things worth doing are worth doing badly.
  I have a friend who never exercises unless she’s training for a marathon; as a consequence, she almost never exercises. I never push myself when I exercise, and although I suspect she scoffs at my wimpy workouts, I’ve managed to get myself to exercise several times a week for years. If I’d tried to have a more ambitious workout, I’m sure I wouldn’t have exercised at all.
  Along the same lines, I told a friend that one of my happiness-project resolutions was to "remember birthdays," and so I was sending out happy-birthday e-mails. He said, "Oh, you shouldn't e-mail! You should call or write a hand-written note; that's much nicer." True—but I won't. And it's better to get something done imperfectly than to do nothing perfectly.
  The perfect can also become the enemy of the good in the quest for perfect information. There are two ways to approach decision-making: as a satisficer (yes, that is a word) or as a maximizer.
  Satisficers are those who make a decision or take action once their criteria are met. That doesn’t mean they’ll settle for mediocrity; their criteria can be very high, but as soon as they find the pasta sauce or the business card that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the optimal decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until after they’ve examined every option, to make the best possible choice. Studies suggest that satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers; maximizers spend a lot more time and energy to reach a decision, and they’re often anxious about whether they did, in fact, make the best choice. (For a fascinating discussion, read Barry Schwartz’s The Paradox of Choice.)
  In almost every category, I’m a satisficer, and in fact, I often felt guilty about not doing more research before making decisions. But it’s one of my Secrets of Adulthood: Most decisions don’t require extensive research. In picking a girls’ summer camp, a friend got information from 25 camps and visited five in person. We got information from five camps and picked the one that a friend’s daughter loved. I used to think that my lack of diligence was a sign of laziness, and my resolution “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good” has made me feel a lot better.
  In some situations, the happier course is to know when good enough is good enough and not to worry about perfection or making the perfect choice.  
  伏爾泰曾說(shuō)過(guò):“別因?yàn)榭燎笸昝蓝e(cuò)過(guò)美好的結(jié)果。”在這句話的影響下,我決定如此這般行事。換言之,逼迫自己去追逐不可能實(shí)現(xiàn)的“完美”而最終一事無(wú)成,還不如接受“不錯(cuò)”。很多事情值得一做,而且非常值得一做。
  我的一個(gè)朋友除了做馬拉松訓(xùn)練不愿意做任何鍛煉;結(jié)果,她幾乎從不鍛煉。我從不在鍛煉時(shí)苛求自己,而且盡管相信她會(huì)嘲笑我的鍛煉強(qiáng)度太小,我已經(jīng)做到多年來(lái)每個(gè)星期都堅(jiān)持做幾次。如果我過(guò)去為自己設(shè)定高強(qiáng)度的訓(xùn)練計(jì)劃,我想我肯定一點(diǎn)鍛煉都不曾做。
  本著同樣的精神,我告訴一個(gè)朋友我的“幸福計(jì)劃”方案之一便是“記住別人的生日”,并且我常常在別人生日當(dāng)天發(fā)出祝福的E-mail.他說(shuō):“你不應(yīng)該發(fā)電子郵件,你應(yīng)該打電話或者寄一封手寫信,那才象樣嘛。”他說(shuō)的的確有道理,不過(guò)我不會(huì)這么做。如果對(duì)事情的完美要求使我們無(wú)法做到的話,還不如去先做出某些結(jié)果,就算做得不夠完美。
  在尋求信息的時(shí)候,完美主義同樣是表現(xiàn)不錯(cuò)的敵人。做決定時(shí)通常有兩種方法,一種是立即行動(dòng),一種是盡善盡美。
  立即行動(dòng)者是指那些一旦基本要求得到滿足便立即做出決定或采取行動(dòng)的人。這樣的行事方法并不意味著他們會(huì)甘于成績(jī)平庸;他們的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)可以很高,但若一旦發(fā)現(xiàn)他們需要的意大利面醬或者名片等小事物能達(dá)到他們的基本要求,他們就不會(huì)多加挑剔。而盡善盡美者則希望執(zhí)行最佳方案,就算他們發(fā)現(xiàn)單車和背包都已經(jīng)準(zhǔn)備好,他們都會(huì)猶豫不決,直到他們?cè)u(píng)估了所有的可能性做出了最佳的選擇。研究表明立即行動(dòng)者會(huì)比盡善盡美者更快樂(lè)。盡善盡美者在做決定上花費(fèi)掉太多的時(shí)間和精力,而且事實(shí)上他們常常會(huì)懷疑是否做出了最佳選擇而焦慮。
  幾乎每一個(gè)方面,我都算是個(gè)立即行動(dòng)者。而且事實(shí)上,我常常因?yàn)闆](méi)有在做決定前做大量研究而心有不安。但是這是我作為成年人總結(jié)的獨(dú)有心得:大多數(shù)的決定都不需要做廣泛的事前研究。在一次為女兒挑選夏令營(yíng)的過(guò)程中,一個(gè)朋友搜集了25個(gè)夏令營(yíng)的資料而且親自實(shí)地考察了5個(gè)。而我們不過(guò)獲取了5個(gè)夏令營(yíng)的信息就找到了一個(gè)朋友的女兒所滿意的。我過(guò)去常認(rèn)為我不夠面面俱到,體現(xiàn)了自己的懶惰,而“別因?yàn)榭燎笸昝蓝e(cuò)過(guò)美好”讓我覺(jué)得安心了很多。
  在某些情況下,獲得幸福感的方法就是要認(rèn)識(shí)到不錯(cuò)已經(jīng)足夠好,而不去苛求事事完美或者做出的抉擇絕對(duì)無(wú)可挑剔。

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